The Journal Entries
by La'Ruelia
Summary: Laguna gets some time off and finally steps out of Esthar. With the long journey ahead of him, he decides it's about time that he records his story. These are the snippets he decides to share.
1. Prologue: Sir Laguna Loire!

**The Journal Entries**

**Summary:** Laguna gets some time off and finally steps out of Esthar. With the long journey ahead of him, he decides it's about time that he records his story. These are the snippets he decides to share.

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

**Prologue: Sir Laguna Loire!**

_Well, here goes nothing! The first entry. Laguna Loire! Ultimate writer extraordinaire! Not really. More like President of too-many-thoughts-are-in-my-head._

_I do have many thoughts. Adventures, if you will. I mind as well spice my life up a little._

_I write in this journal to free up some of these thoughts. I'm traveling away from Esthar. More like getting away. I haven't stepped foot out of that continent since I went in there on a mission eighteen years ago. _Eighteen_. Wow. Such a big number. I've missed this fresh air. The sun feels warmer in the country. The monsters a little less hostile—though, not by much._

_I digress._

_We've been given some time off. A moment to ourselves. Kiros said that he needed it. Ward wordlessly said he earned it. I was nervous. How can Esthar hold itself up? Has my governing finally gotten through? Esthar won't crumble. Shouldn't. At least I hope. That's what they tell me anyway._

_It's almost as if we were back in our soldier days. Running to battle! Saving the city! Meeting the ladies! Not really meeting the ladies! The three of us. Three amigos. Driving away from the great invisible—visible—city. I felt twenty years younger. Then I remembered how old I was and suddenly felt the need to crack my bones. How age can change, get older, but the stillness of the country is timeless._

_It took me only three seconds of being outside to miss the open road. And by three seconds I mean however long it took us to get out of the rockiness of the continent. Now we are getting ready to get into a boat. On our way to Fishman's Horizon. The halfway point of, at least, my journey. I'm not sure what the boys will do after we reach our destination._

_The destination you ask? I ask. This _is_ a journal. If someone reads it one day, though...They may ask themselves "What destination?" after the line five lines past. And the answer is…you'll find out. Keep reading. The suspense will kill you, eh? Well. Then you probably won't finish. You probably haven't even read to this part yet. I'm stalling._

_But to keep you guessing, to keep this journal interesting, I will tell you my life story. Not everything, only the important stuff. The adventure! The drama! The love! The love._

_It all started when I was a young boy. A young city boy._

* * *

><p>He pulled his hair back away from his face to get the drink of water. The large fountain in Deling City isn't the best place to get water, but on this cool summer night, it was the only refreshing sight to see. After two gulps, an audible sigh and belch, and a chase from a guard, young Laguna continued his journey of wandering the streets. He finally made his way into the familiar park. A place he visited a few times a week. The darkness that should be in a park at night was being fought away by the city lights. The sky was purple, only a few stars out. The dark, gentle ambiance of the night was drenched in sound. The park wasn't scary with all of these distractions.<p>

Little Laguna's feet carved a familiar path. He picked up some rocks and threw them in the pond as he walked. The more sound the better. Even though cars streaked by just a few dozen feet away, the eight year old boy still felt more at ease the more noise was made. He also scrapped his boots through the grass and through the walkway. He quickened his pace when he started seeing the benches, almost as if he was expecting something. He climbed the hill to get to the top bench that looked out across Deling City.

"Isn't your mother worried about you?"

The kind elderly woman was always at this park bench, her walking stick leaning next to her. Laguna pulled himself up beside her and watched as the old cars barreled their way through the paved roads. The night life was always bustling in Deling. People chatting, late night shopping. Tourists gawking; most of them country bumpkins who had never seen the rusted bars of the Gateway. Laguna loved staying out past curfew to see all the different people that came through. He imagined that he was anywhere, anywhere minus the city limits, and would often come to the park bench to tell this older woman his stories, his adventures.

"No, Grandma. She probably doesn't even know I'm out of my room." It wasn't like his mother didn't care. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her!" He turned his jade eyes to the woman's wrinkling face.

She smiled down at him. Her hand slowly ruffled his dark hair. "Well, have you had any adventures lately?"

Laguna nodded furiously. He jumped up onto the bench, the older woman, not missing a beat, gasped in what he called mock-shock. "Today I wrestled a monster!"

"Oh my." A normal response. Laguna smiled.

"He raced into my home. I am the defender. I am the warrior! I knocked him down." He swung his fists in the air, fighting nothing. The woman clasped her hands together the mock-shock becoming a little more convincing. "He didn't go down easy, but I'm strong. I gave him the one, two!" One fist then the other hit the invisible monster in front of him. "Then I grabbed his fur and swung him down!" He jumped off the bench, almost losing his balance. He steadied himself. "And sent him packing! I told him to tell all his friends to never mess with Sir Laguna Loire!"

"Oh are you knighted now?" The lady's smile grew wider. "That's an accomplishment!"

"Don't you remember, Grandma? I saved a Sorceress!" Laguna put his hands on his hips. "She was in distress and I saved her from a Ruby Dragon! Those ain't easy to beat either, you know!"

"My memory must be fading a little," she said with an almost sadness. Her smile came back a moment after. "And what of your lady friend?"

Laguna smiled. "We're married now. Soon we're going to get a huge castle! I'm a knight. I get those kinds of things."

The old lady laughed. Laguna pulled himself up onto the bench again. He swung his feet, his boots making a soft clop noise as they sped past each other. "Can you tell me a story, Grandma?"

"What would you like to hear about?" She tapped her chin. Laguna couldn't come up with anything so he sat waiting. "Have you heard about the Lunar Cry? The very first recorded?"

Laguna shook his head. His eyes grew wide. "Tell me!"

The old woman laughed. "I lived with my family back then. My children would have been about your age. I remember the sky turning red… Back then Centra was at the top of its game. The technology was amazing. But nothing could have prepared us for the sky turning red. Even at night you could still tell the atmosphere had been permanently painted." She was looking up as if the deep purple sky would burst open with a different hue. "Centra was a very large domain. And to think one tear drop from the moon could have destroyed everything…"

"Tear drop? Does the moon actually cry?"

"No, my son." The old lady patted Laguna's head. A sad grimace of a smile paused on her lips. "The "tear drop" is sort of an expression. Well. That's what it looked like when the monsters spilled from the moon. They came down in the "tear drop" and brought forth the monsters; terrifying things that destroyed a whole civilization. The monsters hit the earth, and I remember pandemonium. These monsters were not the same as the ones you fight in your adventures. No they are strong." She almost looked determined—lost in her words and her memories. "For days we had been preparing for the worst, as we only heard legends of the Lunar Cry. I wasn't at home." There came a deep sigh. She held her hands tightly in her lap. "A lot of people were able to escape. But not many. I was lucky." There was a hint of bitterness in the last sentence.

Laguna needed to know. "And your family? They escaped, right?"

The woman sighed. It almost looked like she got older. "I can't say. I was grabbed by people getting away. My only hope was that my husband and daughters were grabbed too. I haven't been able to find them." Laguna could only sit uncomfortably. He looked up the woman and saw her eyes were almost cloudy, as if at any moment she could shed a tear just like the moon did. "My only hope is that you'll never have to see that red sky."

"Well, if I do, I will beat all of the monsters!" Laguna could feel the strength coming back to him. He stood up again. "I will protect you and all of the people of this city if the sky ever turns red!"

The lady smiled, snapping out of her sadness. She laughed and said, "You ought to be an author. You could move so many people with your high adventures."

Laguna wrinkled his nose. "No way! Writing is boring! I can't spell. Mom's always getting at me for bringing home bad papers!" He heard her laugh again, and he could feel a smile tugging at him. He liked to see people smile. "And I won't have time for that! I will be off! Fighting dragons and saving the day!"

"I hope you have your chance to save the day." Laguna watched as the old woman slowly stood up. He could hear her bones creak and hear her little moan as she reached for her walking stick. "Here. As a mother, I know I would be worried if I found my child was out of bed. Even more so if he was out of sight. Let me walk you home."

Laguna sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The warm summer's breeze ruffled his dark hair as he walked with the older woman, preparing an adventure in his head to tell his mother when he got home. Perhaps if she thought he saved this woman from a raging monster, he'll get off easy.


	2. Chapter One: It's the Army Life for Me

**Chapter One: It's the Army Life for Me**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_It's as if Ward could just eat everything and anything his hands could set on. It would be utterly disgusting, had I not been used to it. Spending twenty years with the big man can do some awful and wonderful things to you. While I eat normally, Kiros eats less. That's how it's always been. Since the beginning of time! Or at least our time together._

_I wonder how Ward is going to fair on this boat ride. Ever since that accident, he hasn't liked the sea too much. Pity since he grew up around one. Suppose that's why Kiros only ever left Esthar to go anywhere, deliver things, run errands in the past years. Can't get anywhere without a boat. We got on the boat anyway, Ward finding the center-most place, he planted himself there. I leaned back on a seat while Kiros leaned on the railing._

_My friends. Ever so quiet. Ever so mocking. Even in Ward's silence, he still could crack a joke at me. As we slowly sailed out, passing some rocks, I could hear the muted chuckle that escaped his throat. I looked over and all he did was point. His finger landed on the pointy, jetting things that graced the water._

_Rocks? I didn't understand._

_Don't trip and hit your head, again, in our travels. Kiros, always explaining to the clueless. We don't want you any more damaged than what we already have to deal with._

_Oh, ho, ho. Funny. Great. The muted chuckle rumbled again. I think back to that day with a little sadness, in the form of a lost voice, and a sort of relief. I got out of the war that way. We all did. I remember the war though, man. Good memories. Mostly. Not really actually. I wasn't one to like fighting at all. At least, with my little platoon I made up, we had adventure. I was the great leader! The great leader who got lost ninty-percent of the time. The great leader who cramped up in awkward situations. I smiled. It reminded me when I first joined the army._

* * *

><p>He did it. He put on his boots. Kissed his mother's wet cheek and headed out. Out of the city he had come to dislike. He was getting bored with his life and decided it was as good a moment as any to join the army at twenty-five he supposed he wasn't getting any younger.<p>

He didn't want to join the war. Fighting was actually a large turn off for him. He had seen a man get killed once, one of the more horrors of his youth, and suddenly all the adventures of his youth, all of the make-believe wars with other countries made his stomach churn. No, he joined the army more for the adventure. His itch to write about the world grew as he grew and this was the perfect opportunity to get out.

"Don't worry, mom," he found himself saying. "I'll become a hero! Remember my adventures?" It brought a laugh to his mother's face. He couldn't stand to see her cry. He wrapped his arms around her. As he did so, her arms grabbed onto the back of his shirt, almost as if she was desperately saying goodbye. "I'll see you soon. I promise."

"Be good." The last words he heard her choke out. He waved behind him and started off to the edge of town. That's where he was told to meet the other recruits.

They drove to a base not too far out. The Galbadian Army was possibly the biggest at the time. As Laguna stepped out of the vehicle he noticed, what seemed like, the hundreds of soldiers, in variations of the same uniform. There were men and women alike, all taking part of this history. Laguna was shoved along to one of the bigger tents. It seemed like all of the new recruits were heading that way. They gathered in the center of the tent, Laguna holding his things to him tightly.

Suddenly he was bumped into. Thinking of some sort of sarcastic response to the shove, he turned to word it, but it died in his throat. A vast tower of a man stood above him, a scar cracking the side of his face. It started at the top near his blue bandana, dipped into his cheek and mouth and continued down his chin. His ice-blue eyes turned down at him. Laguna was sure he was going to die.

"I'm sorry." The man became quiet and looked ahead. Laguna cocked his head. He wasn't expecting that.

Just when anyone thought you couldn't cram much more people in the tent, a tough looking higher up came in, followed by a woman with a clipboard. The man had squinty eyes, almost like his job entailed just staring at the sun. His long brown hair was pulled back away from his face and only a few strands poked out of the top. He was older but not old enough to leave the army, and it gave him a bitter sense about him. He had many medals on his chest, so Laguna guessed he was really high up in ranks.

The woman stood stern next to him. She had long honey blonde hair that lay loose around her shoulders. Her green eyes, behind silver spectacles, looked at each of the men and women in front of her, but showed no hint at what she thought of them. She wasn't old, at least as far as Laguna could tell, but she too had a few medals on her uniform. She handed the man a long list.

The man looked up at them. "Well, line up!"

His voice boomed and most people jumped into spots. The line extended outside the tent. Squinty eyes roamed across the bodies. "You call this a line? My blind son can draw a better line than this!"

Laguna was pretty sure this man didn't have a blind son. That didn't mean he didn't fidget around like everyone else to get a nice clean line. "Stand up straight. Lock in those knees, boys!"

Laguna felt uncomfortable. The man's head bent down and starting reading off the list. The first man, Laguna thanked Hyne it wasn't him, stumbled on his words. The man stopped and looked him in the face. "You will address me as Sir. You will address me as Sir no matter what your answer is. I better not hear you end a sentence without it! Do you hear me?"

"Y-Y-Yes…Sir!"

He continued down the list. People popped out their responses, all taking the form of "Here, sir!" Laguna waited as he got through the Hs, Is, Js, Ks…

"Laguna Lo-ire."

"It's Laguna Loire. Like L_'Wawr_, sir," Laguna managed to say out loud.

The man turned to him. Gave him a look up and down. "Are you mocking me?"

Laguna could have died on the spot. He was being singled out. "No, sir. Merely…correcting pronunciation?" Laguna stared straight ahead, not daring to look around.

"Well Mr. L_oire_. You've earned yourself a chore. After we've finished you come talk to me."

Laguna didn't say a word, though there was a pause. He looked at the man's face and he was staring at him expectedly. The tension rose, and Laguna finally blurted out, "Yes, sir." He could feel his heart beat faster and suddenly the ground looked really nice to curl up into.

The list went on. Towards the end, actually the very last person was named Ward Zabac, the towering, apologizing giant. Laguna at least knew his name.

"My name is Lieutenant General Karl Evans. I am the commanding officer of this unit in the Galbadian army. Next to me is Brigadier General Savannah Trepe. She will be your training officer. You listen to everything she has to say and maybe you'll get to don that uniform. If you're lucky." He glared at everyone in the line. Laguna felt the need to swallow, but found his mouth dry. "Your day will go as such. Wake up, breakfast, train, train, lunch if you are lucky. After lunch you have more training of your choice. All men need breaks and only after that you will get a short one. Training, Dinner, and then cleanup of camp and bed. Do I make myself clear?"

There was a chorus of voices. The man frowned and passed the list back to Brigadier General Trepe. "You will be ready to get out into the real world of war after two months. If you don't, well, it'll be like you never existed. I will leave them to you, Trepe. Loire? Come see me."

Laguna looked around hesitantly before stepping out of the line and walking behind Lt. General Evans. They got to the opposite side of the tent, when the General suddenly turned around. It took all of Laguna not to step on his shiny boots. "You will not be insubordinate after this. You get the job of cleaning."

_Not so hard_, Laguna thought.

"All of the excrement left behind by our Chocobo."

It's as if the ground below him suddenly disappeared. Laguna managed to hover, though. He almost whined but thought better of it. Evans threw his hand up. "Dismissed. Go back to Trepe."

. . .

Laguna stepped into the armory, amazed at what he saw. There were weapons ranging from bows and arrows to double bladed swords. There were little weapons, huge weapons, weapons he couldn't name. They all had a sharpness to them. He felt like a kid again, feeling like the adventure was about to begin. The more he looked at them, though, the worse he felt. He really didn't like fighting, even less, killing.

"Have any of you had any kind of weaponry training before?" Trepe asked. She was scanning group of people.

One person raised their hand. Laguna looked down at him. He was a younger man with dark brown skin. He had four braids going down his back with beads entwined in them. He was dressed in an odd suit that almost all the way clung to his skin with gold bangles hanging off his wrists like cuffs. He was looking around the room, looking for something.

"What's your name again?"

"Seagill, Kiros, sir." He pointed to the corner with sharp blades. "And that's what I've been trained in."

Brigadier General Trepe looked to where he was pointing. She motioned her head, telling him to get them. He obliged and walked over. There he picked up two very sharp looking weapons. "Two?" Trepe was marking it down. "Seagill with katals. Everyone else pick your weapons. Choose wisely. The weapon you chose is the only weapon you are going to train with."

Laguna walked around slowly trying to pick just the right weapon. He was looking for something he would more likely maim with, instead of kill. Since he didn't know much about blades, all swords or pointed objects were out. That didn't leave him with much, which was surprising to Laguna. What was a war without guns? There was an anchor like weapon. He attempted to lift it, but even with both arms he could really only move it to one side. As his hands left the weapon, a shadow fell over him. He looked up.

Ward easily picked the anchor. "A harpoon." It was almost like he was attempting to tell Laguna about it. He didn't say much else, though. "Reminds me of home."

"Zabac, harpoon." Trepe was making her way around the room as people tested each item out. She gave a look to Laguna. "Loire?"

Laguna looked around. There wasn't anything he really wanted. "Guns? Don't ya use guns? I mean it just seems silly to have soldiers use such odd weapons." He paused, and then added, "sir."

She gave him a look down and wrote something on her sheet. "We don't have any in stock. You'd be surprised how many people don't use a gun, Loire. For the time being, then, use a gunblade. I'll see what I can do about retrieving a gun for you."

Laguna hunted around for the so called gunblade. He found it, a pointy object, and picked it up. He had a hilt that looked like a revolver but then came out to a blade with a very sharp edge. Laguna lifted it up with one hand and tested holding it. He definitely didn't like it as he couldn't figure out if he should hold it with one or two hands. It was awkwardly balanced for him. He looked nervously up at the Brigadier General, but she was already moved on. He decided that it would be okay. It was only temporary.

. . .

"I think that's the third time you've accidently shot somebody."

It's been a week and Laguna wasn't getting anywhere. He kept on accidently firing the gun while running up to his opponent. After the first "friendly-fire" it was required for everyone to wear a bullet proof vest when in the near vicinity of him. Laguna apologized profusely to the young soldier he hit in the foot and walked in defeat to receive his punishment. Lieutenant General Evans stood near the tents. He shook his head. "Liore."

"Sir." It had become an almost first named basis for them. But not really. "I'm sorry. I just can't seem to get the hang of this thing."

Evans shook his head again. He looked at Laguna. "Go inside. I think we've got a gun for you finally. Although, I don't like the looks of you having one."

Laguna was happy to skip the chore assignment. Not only was he still cleaning up after the Chocobo every afternoon, he was also cleaning up the outhouses, helping with all of the lifting when shipments come and waking up early to help serve breakfast. He was starting to smell more and more and he couldn't do anything about it.

A higher up was holding a gun for him when he got inside the armory. He wasn't just holding any gun though, it was a machine gun. Something Laguna didn't expect. The soldier taught him how to load bullets and how to hold the gun in different situations. Laguna soaked it all in. He showed the soldier that he knew how to load and hold and went back out. He was directed to the shooting range where, surprisingly, only a handful of people were practicing.

He found an empty place and stood at ready. His heart pounded as he lifted up the gun. It was surprisingly light. He practiced shooting just one, which turned into a surprising five, and took his finger off the trigger. He steadied himself and concentrated. He shot again, a lot more controlled this time, and managed to get them all in good placement on the target.

_Guns_, he thought bitterly in his head. _I fight good with guns._

_. . .  
><em>

Training came and went. Whenever it rained, which it did rain a few times, they practiced movement in the premade obstacle course. Laguna found that he needed to work on movement as after every leap or jump he found his face in the mud.

During the weeks Laguna found himself talking more and more to the "big man." Ward hailed from a port town and was a son to a fisherman. He was used to lifting heavy objects and got along fine with his harpoon. Laguna learned that he was secretly funny, cracking the oddest jokes at the oddest moments. He finally found a friend, or something close to it, in Ward. It was a good thing, too. If anyone tried to mess with Laguna with his friend around, they were soon sent away. Ward used his girth to frighten.

Another man that Laguna and Ward could almost call friend was Kiros, the double katal warrior. That was a nickname Laguna gave to him after seeing him in training. They could almost call him friend as he was friendly enough. Sometimes, though, he gave them looks that made them wonder what he was really thinking. Laguna thought that maybe Kiros was just hanging around so that he would have something to hang around. He didn't let the thought go to heart. He didn't mind the awkwardness.

Eventually, what was left with the new recruits got uniforms and assigned to platoons. Luckily enough Laguna and his new friends were in one together with a few other people.

"Aren't we _awesome_!" he exclaimed to the two people around. Ward smiled. Kiros shrugged. "This platoon is going to be _awesome_! How many times can I saw awesome? We are _awesome_."

"Tell me again." Kiros rarely spoke in their group, but he must have been having a moment. "Just how _awesome_ are we going to be? Is it going to be so _awesome_ that we are going to continue using the word _awesome_? If so, I will show you how _awesome_ I feel." There was a hint a sarcasm and if it wasn't for the light smirk on his face, Laguna would have been a little nervous.

Ward laughed. Laguna scratched his head a smile on his lips. They were going to be okay; the three of them.

He was just happy to stop cleaning Chocobo poop and getting out to the real world. The war was just beginning.


	3. Chapter Two: The Fall

**Chapter Two:** The Fall

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_If there was one thing I could look back to, fondly, in the war was the way I could tune things out in battle. Maybe that's why I got lost so much. I was completely lunatic when it came to strategy, only mostly because I wanted to survive. I was often tripping in the right moments as missiles of some sort flew over my head._

_Yeah. I often kissed the mud. Training never really helped me with that. Now I'm happy to say so, as I am alive._

_There was something else that made me feel lucky in the midst of battle. This strange power…almost like I could throw fire. Well, I could. Sometimes. It was an odd feeling, this magic I sometimes obtained. And it wasn't just me either. Kiros and Ward would also suddenly be able to use magic for a time. Of course, later in life, we found out that it was from a little help from a friend, but at the time we were suddenly invincible. We garnered our own platoon and trusted each other fully._

_Yeah it might have been foolish to put me as the leader. I got lost really easily. Eventually we let Ward figure out the maps. I also made rash decisions that got us into trouble too. Most of the time we were in danger. We survived! I'm still writing this!_

_I thought the war was going to last forever for the three of us. I didn't imagine myself getting anything else out of life. I had a dream of working at Timber Maniacs, ironic since we were supposed to be taking over Timer. But then came the fall. It was the fall of Timber, or at least the attempt; the fall of my platoon and the fall of me. I fell two different ways, I suppose. One physical the other…well…I'll call it an infatuation. I'm not sure if it was love totally. It could have been._

_Her name was Julia Heartilly…_

* * *

><p>Red blazed above him. Somehow he was on the ground behind a large rock. A year in the "real world" as Lieutenant General Karl Evans always said, was not pleasant. Laguna was happy to be alive, but not happy in the situation. Random explosions, moans, yells, weapon fire and all the like filled his ears. He wished he had a way to mute it out.<p>

"You okay Laguna?"

Somehow he could always hear Wards booming voice. He held up a thumb, but continued to lie down. Ward maneuvered over to him. "I threw the harpoon. I'm having trouble finding it."

"I'd wait, buddy," came Laguna's response. "I'm sure no one will run away with it."

Laguna's platoon and a different platoon were on their way home for a few days rest when they were invaded by soldiers. This was a surprise attack. Laguna pulled his gun closer to him, crawled out from behind the boulder, lifting his head up above the tall grass. He crouched low, his fingers near the trigger. When he saw someone come close, and made sure it was the enemy, he sent bullets into their knees. The soldier went down screaming, but at least he was alive. It was all Laguna could do to not let himself slip into the insanity of killing. He hated it.

Kiros came charging silently out of the woods behind an unsuspecting enemy. He had the mindset that if you didn't kill the enemy, they would kill you. He made a swift win then immediately ducked low. He found his way to their little group that hid behind a boulder. They could have looked better. Laguna could feel blood rolling down his face from a cut in his hair. Ward was supporting a burnt arm and Kiros held a hand to his chest, breathing awkwardly. They had no idea what happened to the other platoon, and only hoped for the best.

"We need to get out of here." Kiros was looking around. Behind them was silent, but that was backtracking. The only way was forward. "I don't see a way out."

Laguna peered around the boulder. It was as if the enemy forgot about them, out of sight out of mind. They were busy with the other platoon, and Laguna didn't want to think about how long they might last. He pulled back around and started to reload the gun. He clicked everything in place and looked at his two friends. "I guess we are making our way out."

"Don't be stup—" But Kiros's words were cut off as he ran to catch up with their fearless leader. Ward was the last to run, finding his harpoon on the way out. They caught most of the people off guard with their own little surprise attack and were able to clear a way for themselves. On the other side of the forest they found some of the other platoon. What was left of them, anyway.

Laguna and Kiros helped a guy to his legs. Ward picked up a woman who was knocked out. Together they managed to get away from the attack and back onto the road. It took them longer than expected, but after a few miles they found the rendezvous point. Two military cars waited for them. "What happened?" One soldier ran up to help carry the hurt man. Kiros let him go, his hand finding his chest again. He coughed.

"Surprise attack." Laguna and the soldier set the man down a stretcher. Ward set the woman down gently on the other. "I'm not sure if there is a point to go back."

The man understood. "We'll be collecting dog tags later." The soldier pointed to the car on the left. "This car is set for Deling City. Is that okay with you?"

Laguna nodded. Despite the situation he smiled a little. Home. Back to his roots. He never thought he'd miss it this much.

Laguna rested flowers on the grave below him. His mother got sick while he was away from home. She didn't live six months after he left from home. The last time he was in Deling City was for her funeral.

"I'm home, even though it's only for a few days." He patted the grave. A sad tug pulling him down. It was as if all of the tiredness, soreness, sadness and longing for something different hit him all at once. He bent down and held himself for a moment, collecting his thoughts.

_Come on Laguna! You can pull it together,_ he thought. He could feel his chest give out shaky breaths. He inhaled some more air. _Clear your head. Maybe one day it won't be so bad. The situation could be worse. You could be dead._ Despite his efforts to cheer himself up, he let a tear slip past. He wiped his eyes and gave one last stare at the grave in front of him. "I miss you mom," he whispered.

Kiros and Ward waited for him at the hotel. Their own home wasn't Deling City, but their homes weren't anywhere near anything. Laguna met them back in their room. They were already getting ready for bed, despite it being before noon. Laguna kicked off his boots and flopped onto his bed, not even bothering to change out of his street clothes or covering himself up with the blanket. Sleeping was how they spent their first day, and most of their second.

Laguna didn't remember dozing but he awoke when the sun was just setting over the horizon. Both Ward and Kiros were still sleeping, but he didn't want them to be anymore.

"We can't waste our lives away!" Laguna was shaking the last of sleep from his head.

"Isn't that what we've been doing this whole year?" came a groggy reply. "Where has my youth gone?" Ward rolled around in his bed opening one eye to Laguna.

Kiros slowly sat up, stretching to the ceiling. "And what will you have us do?"

Laguna put a hand to his chin. He sat looking up, an intense expression on his face. What was there to do in Deling City? _Nothing_, he thought. _Nothing but sightseeing, shopping and drinking_. "Drinks!" he exclaimed. "I hear there is a bar in this hotel!"

"Laguna, you lived here. You've known all along that there was a bar in this hotel." Kiros shrugged anyway, agreeing.

Ward sat up. "I'm game!"

"Oh yeah! People are going to remember us! Let's get wild!" Laguna shot up, a fist in the air.

. . .

Laguna liked fruity drinks. Kiros teased him. "Yeah, let's get wild with a little strawberry daiquiri."

"Ahhh this place is too calm for wild. The next bar we'll be it for sure!" Laguna took a sip of his drink, smacking his lips. Kiros rolled his eyes, but laughed anyway.

"Bar hopping?" Ward could have drunk a barrel and still not have been tipsy. "This is going to be the best night ever!"

Laguna laughed. He did really like his fruit drinks, this one so far becoming his favorite. He was setting down his drink, when in the next moment, suddenly all other plans were canceled. At least all of his plans were cancelled.

A young woman walked down the steps. She was wearing a light blue evening gown. Her brown hair was cut a little short and curled at the ends. Her hands were clasped together in front of her as she gracefully walked down the steps. She had a warm smile on her face as she passed Laguna. He stared at the sight that walked by him. His mouth hung open.

Kiros lifted an eyebrow. "Awestruck? Our fearless leader has been shot down by beauty."

Laguna could hardly hear him, though. He watched as the woman walked to the front of the stage that was set in the front of the bar, and sat down the piano. There she struck a melody, a song that instantly grabbed all of Laguna. He sat forgetting about the drink, the war, and the people that sat around him. He only had eyes for her and that piano that was pulling on him.

"He's serious." Ward set down his mug with a soft clink. "I do like it."

Laguna shushed him. He needed to hear the song. He could hear Kiros chuckle beside him, but it wasn't bothering him. The song dipped and rose in pitch. It was smooth but then rocky. It was beautiful and haunting. Laguna attempted to memorize everything about it, though he could tell the alcohol he allowed in his system wasn't going to let him fully. He sat still his brow furrowed, waiting.

The song ended and there was applause that broke out. Laguna found himself clapping slowly. The woman laughed a little at the attention and gave her head a bow. She continued onto a different song.

By the third song Ward was getting restless. Kiros suggested that they go ahead someplace else, leaving Laguna to his devices. Laguna barely wished them goodbye before they walked away up the steps.

Laguna was bound and determined to get her name—to meet her and say hello. He downed the rest of his watered down daiquiri and stood up. He marched his way towards the piano, but two things stopped him.

The sudden pain in his left leg was excruciating. Immediately his knee gave out and sparks jolted up to his hips. He bent down holding his leg to him though it felt like fire. Moaning slightly as it wasn't going to come down easily. Leg cramps had never felt so intense.

The second thing was the body guard. Although Laguna couldn't move, if he could move there wasn't any way he was going to get through this guy. He looked up sheepishly at the guard. The guard stood with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring down at the poor man with the sudden leg cramp. "There is no speaking to Julia."

Laguna raised a thumb and creped his way back to the bar stool. He rubbed his knee trying to get any feeling back. He did take a chance and look back up at the woman at the piano. Despite her playing, she was glancing at him. A sad smile on her face. Laguna felt the bloom on his face, taking one hand away from the ministrations and scratching his head.

"I've lost my man points," Laguna cursed. What was going on with his leg?

. . .

"You froze up?" Ward laughed his booming laugh. "You got up there and got a leg cramp? What kind of wuss gets a leg cramp?"

Laguna scratched his hair, embarrassed. Kiros, with a pillow over his head, turned to them. "Shut up. That laugh is sending pain through me."

"Nursing a hangover?" Laguna took this moment to wheel the conversation in a different direction. "What, can't handle a drink?"

"What, can't handle the piano girl?" And Laguna lost all man points he might have tried to salvage with the last taunt. He sighed.

"It's back to the real world tomorrow. I probably won't see her again."

What he didn't know was that every time he came back home, every few months, he saw her at least once, sometimes twice. Again and again he cramped or chickened out, but more and more came the feeling like they belonged together. Laguna couldn't explain it, but he saw a future. A romance that he almost played out in his head. He romanticized over it. At times he thought it was creepy. Most of the time he would be embarrassed to let his thoughts roam, until one night. She came up to him. His chance to get to know her.

They talked alone. Laguna was really nervous at first, but relaxed after a little bit. He talked about the war, his want to be a writer and his journal he was keeping, his goals in life. He felt like he was talking too much, but the drinks were letting him pour out his life story. Julia listened intently, nodding, gasping, and smiling at all the right parts. It brought him back to his childhood when he would talk to that old woman.

He talked until the wine, which he had just a little too much of, caught him off guard. He dozed.

He woke up. Julia was looking away but looked down as he moved around on the bed.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize wine made you sleepy." There was a beautiful smile on her lips.

Laguna apologized for falling asleep. It wasn't like him. Inside he chided himself for being so very uncool.

He could feel himself talking too much again. He mentally scolded himself for doing so again. He finally stopped pacing around the room for a moment, turned to her, and said, "Tell me about yourself. Like...your dreams for the future."

"I..." She paused, looking up at him. It was as if she was going to reveal something very private. Her face showed emotions. Was she going to tell him? "I want to sing. Not just play the piano, but sing, too."

Laguna nodded, excitement running through him. "Oh, I'd really love to hear it."

"But I can't. I'm no good at writing lyrics..." She paused again, and he could feel her watching him. He must have had such a serious expression on his face. She smiled. "But thanks to you, I think I can come up with something."

He stopped. He set a hand on his chest. His back was towards her, and good thing as he could feel the goofiest of smiles playing at him. "Thanks to me...?"

She laughed. It reminded him of a chorus of bells. He felt his cheeks heat up as she said, "Yes... The many faces you've shown me. Times when you were hurt, worried..." Her smile faltered a little. Laguna turned to her and cocked his head a little, inviting more words. "Or felt pain deep inside you. Your smile, your face, your eyes... You've shown me something... I think I can come up with a song."

Laguna scratched his head, a nervous chuckle bursting forth. "Wow... I must be dreamin'..."

It was Julia's turn to cock her head. Her smile sat dreamily on her face. "It's not a dream, is it?"

Laguna was preparing an answer when suddenly there was a knock. A new assignment. It felt like reality hit. He was waking up. He sighed. Julia looked sad, but stood up with him. She held out her hand. Laguna took it. "Can we meet again?"

"Of course!" He set his other hand on top of hers, relishing the feeling. "I have to hear you sing!"

. . .

It might have been the end. The last attack definitely did something to Ward. Kiros wasn't moving much either. Laguna dragged his friends to the edge of the cliff. He just had to get them lost. He just had to grab the wrong map. He led his platoon into danger and now it was his responsibility to get them away. He was the least damaged of the three.

Ward's last words were raspy. Laguna felt awful. It was his fault for showing up at the wrong moment. What were they doing around Esthar soldiers anyway? He tried to lighten the mood but was met with silence. He looked at Kiros. He clutched his weapons but his eyes were closed and his brow wrinkled. He was concentrating on breathing. Was this really the end? Guilt closed his throat as he turned away for a moment. He looked down, surprised to see boats down below.

"Check it out a boat! We're getting on!"

Kiros moved his head, opening his eyes. "A…vessel…they'd…normally…call…it…"

"Boat, vessel, whatever. We're going back to Galbadia!"

As there were no complaints to the matter that he knew of, Laguna walked over to Kiros. He helped him up and took him to the edge. Before Kiros could even open his mouth to the idiotic idea, Laguna had him flying over into the sea below him. The challenge was Ward. He helped, and partly dragged, him to his legs. Ward leaned heavily on him. They struggled to the edge, and Ward had a smile on his face. He knew it was stupid. It was happening anyway. Laguna pushed him over.

Laguna leaned over and saw that they were somehow making their way to the boats. Slowly, but they were managing. He cracked another joke, getting nervous about the trip down. Instead of jumping, gaining feet away from the cliff, Laguna thought it would be a good idea to climb down.

All the sudden his grip slipped. A rock cracked beneath a foot and he let go. With a load curse, he fell. First his body hit the rocks and water below. He wasn't sure which one it was—the pain of several bones cracking and flesh tearing or the hit to the head—that knocked him out first.

The last thing Laguna saw in his head was Julia's smiling face. He regretted that they wouldn't be seeing each other again. He would never get a chance to hear her sing.


	4. Chapter Three: Healing the Holes in

**Chapter Three:** Healing the Holes in the Wall

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_I just got done beating up some monsters! My head hurts. My sides hurt. My arm hurts. I'm bruised. I'm sore. I'm beat. Beating things up didn't hurt like this twenty years ago. I can't believe how out of shape I am! It also doesn't help that we don't have our faeries powers!_

_Back in Esthar I wasn't allowed to do much fighting. I was the President. If I died…well…let's just say the "community" would be a little lost. Ugh. Man. I hope I don't die on this trip. I don't think I will._

_Kiros seems to be just as fit. What is this forty-five year old doing to keep in such good shape? I need to know his secrets. Maybe I can have the guards let me work out a little more. Should I ask permission? I'm the leader! I shouldn't have to! But I feel that it is necessary. I can hear them now, "Oh no. Why would you need to work out? Here have some cake. It'll make you feel better." It usually does. Why do my guards always have cake?_

_We've been in a few battles here and there as we make our way out past FH. There were some battles on the boat, but we are on land now. The monsters seem a little harsher on land. I'm still trying to find my legs after six days on that boat. It's like I'm trying to dance when I get tired. My legs just wobble to and fro._

_We did finally make it out to Dollet. Dollet? I know. Kind of the opposite direction then where we intended. The wind swept the boat we were on out a little far away from Timber. And by a little I mean a lot. I don't understand why we even were on that side of the FH Bridge that connects the two continents together. But we're here. Off course. But here. I'll have to send out some letters as this trip could take us an extra week or so._

* * *

><p><em>We are in the hotel now. Ward is getting food. I'm attending to my wounds and Kiros was out gathering information.<em>

* * *

><p><em>Isn't this lucky? They're remaking the railroad system. Kiros said something about getting newer, faster trains. That's great! Awesome…we have to walk.<em>

_All the way to our goal. I had to rewrite the letter to say that it may take us three weeks instead. I'll let her know when we get closer. I want to write sigh, but I'm too sore to make the motion of it._

_The soreness brings me back._

* * *

><p>Laguna could remember the bursts of pain as he was being lifted out of the water. He moaned feeling the unattended wounds being pulled on. He wasn't sure if he was crying, but noises were ripping out of his chest. Several voices were ringing out.<p>

"He's alive!"

"Oh Hyne! Look at these bruises! Careful! Something might be broken!"

"Where did he float from? I'm surprised he's even alive with all of the monsters in the sea."

Laguna could feel the cool wetness flowing down his hot cheeks. He was in and out of consciousness through his fever. Every time he felt his muscles move, his body screamed in protest. It was like he was run over by a horse. He could only compare it to horses because he imagined the hoofs crashing down on all of the pressure points that hurt the most. He wasn't thinking clearly at all.

Flashes of nightmares would course through him. He'd wake up and gasp, then groan as a new wave of pain washed over him. He would fall asleep and again and again he'd fall off the cliff. He imagined Julia's face contorted in sadness, an arm forever out of his reach trying to catch him. He'd wake up again and again thinking he killed his friends. His disillusion was making him think that they were worse off than he was. He imagined them still, lifeless. He felt like he was drowning.

Every now and again he would wake up peacefully to someone with gentle hands patting away his fear. He would stare up at the green eyes and think blearily that his mother was taking care of him. Everything would be okay. Then he would remember that his mother was dead.

That brought him relief. Maybe he was dead too.

"Sir, what is your name?"

He wouldn't answer. His own mother knew his name. He would just close his eyes and let the sleep come back to him.

. . .

"Is he dead?"

"No, he can't move because we have him all tied down. He broke quite a few bones."

"Well, hopefully he will get better soon. You get some rest too, Raine."

Raine? His mother's name was not Raine. Laguna forced open an eye, but by the time he did, the room was dark and no one was in it. He felt like he was floating, maybe that was the effect of death? But then he couldn't have died. There was pain when he moved his fingers; a hot splash ran up his body. He couldn't help but to let another tear slip. Had he had any less medicine in him, he would have cried out. He fell asleep, but when he woke up again there was light filtering into the room. He tilted his head looking at the scenery.

There was a little dresser in the corner. The room was a light kind of yellow, though he couldn't tell if it was because of the paint or the sun coming through. He slowly swung his head around to the other side of the room. Next to him was a crib. Odd, but he decided there was no point in asking. There wasn't anyone to ask anyway.

It was then that he heard footsteps. Laguna managed to move his head back towards the door. After a few more moments, a lady came into the room. Her long brown hair was pulled away from her face with a headband and she was wearing a creamy white turtleneck. She wasn't tall, but from what Laguna could see, wasn't short either. She had a tray of food she was carrying and she seemed a little surprised that he was staring.

"Oh hello! Are you finally awake? Fully, I mean."

She set the tray on the little nightstand beside him. She pulled up the little chair and put a cool hand to his forehead. "You're a little warm, but much better than you were."

Laguna cracked his lips open, but found no words. He was entranced by her simple beauty. She didn't wear makeup or have any fancy earrings. She simply was just simple. He exhaled a little loudly instead.

She smiled and grabbed the glass of water that was next to her. "I brought a straw just in case you woke up. You've been moving around a lot lately." She plucked the straw in the drink and brought it to his lips. Laguna drank slowly, but could feel the clogging of his throat get washed away. After the long draught he carefully cleared his throat.

"Laguna," he whispered.

"Is that your name?" She smiled again and Laguna managed one back. "We've been wondering for a while what exactly it was! We didn't want to move you to look at your dog tags. I mean it's just that this town mostly has women in it and we didn't know where to look for your dog tags. I'm not explaining myself well." She put a hand to her chest. "Well look at me, talking up a storm. My name is Raine. Raine Leonhart. Pleased to meet you!"

Laguna smiled again. Raine picked up a fork and stabbed at something on the tray. She brought it to his lips and Laguna realized just how hungry he actually was. He took the food being offered, chewed it slowly before swallowing it. He had never tasted such good spaghetti.

Raine laughed at the face he made and continued to feed him. "I always bring a plate of hard food down in case you were semi-conscious. You were eating soup and broth the whole time and I'm sure your body would have gotten tired of it somehow!"

Laguna ate until there wasn't anything else to eat. He could feel the sleepiness coming back to him, and just as well as Raine was getting up to leave.

"I hope you get better soon, Laguna."

He hoped too.

. . .

Eventually Laguna is able to hold himself awake and have a normal sleeping pattern. He still could't move very well, but he can be more observant and a little more talkative. He found that Raine had set a clock in front of him on the wall so he would know the time. That was helpful to him. He also found out that this was a little girl's room. Her old room. She now lived next door.

And on his fourth month in bed he finally met the little girl.

She tapped through the hall, and peeked her little head in. Laguna almost didn't hear her. He turned his head and lifted an eyebrow. The little girl seemed shy. She hid behind the dresser for a moment before peeking out again.

"What's your name?" he asked, giving her his best smile.

"Ellone." The little girl hid again. Laguna smiled at her shyness.

"Well, my name is Laguna. It's nice to meet you, Ellone!"

Ellone stepped out. She was wearing a blue jean dress. Her brown hair was short and parted to the side. She nervously walked up to him. She sat on the chair Raine normally sat at and stared at his exposed arm. "Does it hwurt? Aunitie Raine said that you broked a lot of bones."

Laguna's smile grew at her speech. "It doesn't hurt so much anymore. I can lift one arm." He lifted the arm that was exposed. Not all the way up, just more of a hover over the bedspread. Ellone smiled and that was what Laguna was waiting for. "That's a beautiful smile."

"Thanks! I've been working on it!" Ellone smiled again with a giggle.

"Keeping the poor man company?"

Raine was carrying some bandages and medicine. Laguna laughed. "She's been great company!"

"Uncle Laguna can lift his arm!" Ellone told Raine.

"Uncle Laguna? Well isn't that good!" Raine smiled at the girl. "How about you go downstairs for a few minutes? I've got to change some bandages." The little girl nodded her head and raced out of the room. "Don't go outside, okay?"

"Okaay!"

Laguna was used to this process by now. Luckily his back wasn't damaged in the fall, other than a few scrapes; most of the injuries went to his arms, legs and ribs. Raine carefully pulled Laguna up, careful not to move his one arm that was still in a stint and careful to keep his ribs in place. Laguna leaned forward, which was easier now that he had at least one arm to put a little weight on, as Raine removed the tape from his back. Laguna winced as his bandages loosened. They were being held tight so that his ribs wouldn't move in the healing process.

"How are you feeling?" Raine asked. Her cool hands were brushing over him to get the new bandages on.

"I, uh..." Laguna turned away a moment, his heart skipping a beat. "I'm fine."

"Anything new hurt?"

"No…"

Laguna tilted his head so that he could scratch his head with his good arm. The weight made his muscles scream out, but it wasn't as bad as they were broken. "Aunt Raine?" He decided to take the conversation away from him.

"I'm not really her aunt." There was a pause as she taped the bandages onto him. She then started in on his arm. "Her parents were killed."

"Killed?" Laguna looked at her as she carefully took off the stint holding his arm in place. "By who? Ouch."

"Sorry. By Esthar soldiers. The Sorceress, Adele, is on the lookout for…remarkable young girls so she has someone to replace her." There seemed to be some bitterness that was left in the air after that statement. "Ellone's parents were one of the few who stood up to the soldiers when they came to this town." Raine smoothed the last bandage over his back. Laguna leaned back. "She hid and was able to stay hidden until the soldiers stopped looking for her. I found her and she's been with me ever since."

"How long ago was that?"

"About a year and a half ago. A little more." Raine pulled down the blanket to take a look at his legs. They were both wrapped and in stints. Laguna was in shorts, a little too short for his liking, but didn't think about it as she started to unwrap his bandages. "How do your legs feel?"

"They're still sore, but I think they're healing nicely." Laguna could hear his voice break higher a little out of nervous tension, but Raine didn't seem to think anything of it. "I feel like I've had worse."

"Really?" She was a little skeptical.

"No. Just a thought."

Raine finished his legs and had a look at his bad arm and covered him back up. "I'd give you another month with those legs. I'm no doctor though. He should be traveling around town soon so he can have another look at you."

"You don't have a normal doctor, or like a hospital? I always wondered why I was in this tiny bed the whole time."

"Winhill is so small it doesn't need one. The doctor travels here once every three months, unless someone's going to have a baby. He visits more then, but also sends over his nurses or aids also. Lucky you, he was here when we found you."

"Lucky me."

Raine ruffled his hair. Laguna made a face and patted it back down. "Do you have anyone who might be looking for you?"

_I wouldn't be surprised if Kiros finally had nothing more to do with me. Ward…I just hope he got out of there alive._ Laguna shook his head. "Not that I know of. My platoon, well you know. Who knows where they are or if they made it out of there."

Raine frowned. "No family?"

Laguna shook his head again. "None. My mom died a few months into the war."

"No girlfriends?"

Laguna thought about Julia, but laughed to himself. There wouldn't be any way that she would be waiting for him. He couldn't even really call it love, just a night that could have been almost something. "Nope. And why'd you make it plural?"

Raine smiled and said, "You're a smooth talker. I can imagine you leaving trails of broken hearts behind you."

"Oh, ho, ho." Laguna smiled. "I'm not much of a talker."

"You could have fooled me!" Raine laughed.

"You gwuys are lowud!" Ellone came into the room. She crawled into Raine's lap, staring up at her. "Why are you laughing?"

"It's nothing Ellone!" Raine gave the small girl a hug and snuggled her face into her hair. "You wouldn't understand anyway."

"No way! Uncle _Laguna_! I can understand wright?"

"When you're older." Laguna and Raine laughed at the young girl's pouting face.

Laguna made his way down the steps for the first time. It had been six months and a few days since he last moved. The doctor told him to try and walk after another three weeks. It had only been two weeks since he said that. It took Laguna an hour just to get on his feet, and even then his legs did not want to work. He made a mental note to exorcise every day as soon as he could. He wobbled out of bed and into the hall. There was dust everywhere, and he sneezed as he took a shaky breath in. He looked at the steps.

Like a child, he did one step at a time. One foot on the step and the second one followed. He managed to get down the steps in fifteen minutes. He cheered. The quiet cheered died in his throat as he looked around the downstairs. Dust coated everything. The table, the chairs, the clock, the walls were coated in grime. Nothing was safe. He could tell that this house hadn't been kept for a while. His eyes followed the pictures on the wall, trying to decipher the faces behind the grime. They slowly swung around the room, until they reached the wall next to him. He gasped, immediately holding his sides to calm down the pain.

The wall was dotted with bullet hole patterns. There were so many holes in the wall. He went down the last few steps and stood in front of the mess. On the floor were pictures that used to hang, holes raining in them too. His brow furrowed as he re-realized that this was Ellone's old home, he _had_ been sleeping in her bedroom, and that this place must be where her parents were killed.

Killed in their own home. It seemed very unnecessary for the Sorceress to kill innocent citizens in cold blood. _Why did they feel it was that needed for that many bullets? I hope Elle wasn't here to see this…she must see it every day she comes to visit me. Does she remember? I imagine she was scared stiff. I hope she never saw her parents…_Laguna shuddered to think of the mess that might have been on the walls and floors. Who cleaned up? He could imagine Raine bending down with a rag to try and get the red up off the floor. He felt sick.

He wretched his eyes away from the holes in the wall and to the other picture frames on the bookshelf. There were three. One of a wedding day, the second of a young family, and the third was Ellone. It looked like it was taken a little while ago, before the disaster.

It was then that Laguna made a vow to keep this little girl safe. He would do whatever was in his power to make sure the Sorceress didn't get the whole family.


	5. Chapter Four: Heart Attack

**Chapter Four: Heart Attack**

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_I'm writing, not sitting up, but rather on my stomach, as Kiros slathers something smelly onto the burns on my back. He says it's something he used to make when people accidentally burned their hands cooking in his village. All I know is that it's smells as if eight people died in a hole and their bodies are slowly starting to bloat because of the summer heat. I constantly begged him to take that nonsense away from the tent, away from the country, but he just laughs at me and slathers more on. The sadist. It did seem to help anyway._

_How'd I get burned, you ask? Well. We were traveling—nay—gallivantering to our next destination, and some shrewd, oozing, gigantic, reeking, smelly monster came out of nowhere! Before we knew it, we were surrounded! By now I've gotten used to the thrill of battle. I took my gun and defended the crew from the onslaught._

_If only that's how heroic I can be. I used to be like that. I used to go into a battle with a monster with vigor and strength of a thousand men. Now I feel like I get lucky if I can take down something in fourteen hits. Traveling isn't doing well on this old body of mine. Hopefully by the time we get down to where we need to go, I won't be dead. The monster worked its black magic on me and there I was with a burn mark stretching my lower back._

_The old battle days—battling with monsters instead of people, felt exhilarating; especially when I had someone to protect or save._

. . .

"Ellone! Don't go out! Wait until Laguna is back, please!"

"I'm back, don't worry!"

Laguna popped into the pub, wiping his brow with the back of his arm. Raine made a face as Ellone stifled a giggle. "I'm smelly, but I'm moving! It feels so great out there!"

"Well, go clean up. It's lunch time." Raine finished cleaning a glass and motioned towards the little girl jumping up and down, excitedly asking Laguna how many monsters he demolished. "Ellone come help me with lunch."

The young girl sprinted around the corner and into the back. Laguna made his way up the steps, two at a time, and made his way to the bathroom. He found an extra towel and splashed water onto his face.

He killed a total of sixteen monsters in this small village, mostly in the town square. With all of the younger men out to war, this town is slowly being overrun. _Well not on my watch! I won't let this town get overrun by the stupid things. They're so weak…_

Laguna hoped it didn't get any worse.

Lunch was served by the time he made his way back down the steps. He rolled his arms and moved his neck, enjoying the sounds and popping of the bones underneath. Ellone sat, her feet nowhere near touching the floor, giggling as the young man took his seat. There were sandwiches and each plate had a little salad next to it.

Raine went ahead and plopped a sandwich onto Laguna's plate. "You look exhausted."

"It may take a little bit to get my old self back," he replied, bringing the food to his lips. Raine made the best sandwiches. "But I don't mind!"

"Howve mwany mwonstwers—"

"Swallow before you talk, Elle," Raine reminded the young girl. Ellone chewed and continued on.

"How many mwonsters did you take down?" Ellone wiped crumbs off her face, but her eyes watched Laguna expectantly.

"Sixteen." Laguna bent down to her. "That was only my first watch though. I promised Raine I would do two a day. And since monsters tend to go home after dark, I only have to worry about morning and afternoon." Laguna ruffled the young girl's hair. She laughed.

"Don't overexert yourself. I don't want you wasting my time again." Raine flashed Laguna a smile. "Six months is a long time to heal."

"I _did _fall off a _cliff_."

"And all that_ whining_ and _moaning_." Raine winked at Ellone.

"Yeah, the_ whining_ and _mwoaning_!"

"Hey! I fell off a cliff!" Laguna mock pouted. "I haven't seen or heard either of you fall off a cliff, so you don't know what it's like!"

Ellone huffed and crossed her arms. "I'm not clumsy like you are!"

"Ah!" Laguna held both hands to his chest, right over his heart. "You hit me in a sore spot, Ellone. I might weep."

"No more _whining_ and _mwoning_!"

"And certainly no more tears." Raine laughed when Laguna's expression horrified.

. . .

The second watch was a little more tiring.

Laguna had to take a break and give his muscles a rest before they burst. He lay down by the cliff watching the clouds above him move across the blue sky. Slowly he started to move his legs. Joints popped and a flash of pain burned his knees. He rubbed the soreness out and took a deep breath in. He tried to keep his body in different positions to stretch out the kinks that had developed with the six month bed rest and sudden training. He looked at the position of the sun, using his military training to figure out the time. _Dinner will be soon…I wonder if I can make it back to the bar._ He sighed, stretching his neck and arms as he did so. His shoulder popped and he rubbed the pain away. _I need to start stretching at night._

Laguna rolled onto his stomach, which seemed to be a feat all in itself, watching the waves lick the beach. It was hard to believe that he even made it out of the ocean alive. The memory of the shock of water and hitting the sharp and blunt rocks sent a shiver down his spine. _Blue, too much blue and I thought for sure I was going to suffocate!_ He shook it off, stretching more muscles in his neck. There was a pop, pop, pop and he moaned. "I'm so out of shape! I never would have thought I'd ever get out of shape!" Laguna moaned to no one. The cliff was clear of any visitors today.

After another twenty minutes of stretching and relaxing it was time for him to get back to his patrolling. Already he killed off another eight monsters, though it was only half of what he had in the morning. Raine's words leaked back into his thoughts, but he didn't believe he could overexert himself at this point. "I'm a warrior! Warriors don't get carried away easily."

He bent down, his back cracking in several places, to retrieve his gun. After a quick reload he made his way to the shops to make sure they were clear of the slithering fiends.

. . .

If only he would have taken those words back. The sun had set by the time Laguna was limping his way back to the bar. One boot scratched the stones and he willed himself to make another limp forward. He looked up once he reached the town's center. The door to the bar was spilling out light and there was a little silhouette waiting for him. Laguna waved to the little girl, muscles searing at the small gesture. He couldn't hide the pain that crossed his face.

"Raine! I think Laguna's bwoken!"

Raine appeared at the door with her hands on her hips. "I told you not to go overboard! Ellone grab the first aid kit." Raine easily matched his steps and swung Laguna's arm over her own. She ignored his moaning and wincing as she held the man closer with her other arm. She half dragged Laguna the rest of the way into the bar and out of the night. Ellone was waiting for them at one of the tables, the white kit sitting in front of her. Laguna used a hand to drag out a chair and Raine gently set him down in it.

Laguna watched as she gave him a look over. His arms were scratched and sore, his clothes were ripped and somehow he lost one boot. She shook her head and opened up the kit to find the disinfectants. "Ellone, go get the pain medicine the doctor left for Laguna. It's in the black lockbox in the drawer next to my bed."

Ellone obediently went upstairs. Laguna watched as Raine ran her fingers across his shirt. His heart skipped a beat. "Shirt off." Laguna looked up in what he hoped wasn't horror. Raine tapped her toes, three clicks resounding in the empty bar air. "I've seen you in nothing, don't give me that face."

Laguna couldn't breathe at the comment. He then remembered that she was the one who took care of him. Seeing him nude was probably part of the job description. If he could remember correctly she also helped him to the bathroom, though she didn't stay thank Hyne, and redressed all of his wounds. All of them. Like the ones on his lower back, upper thighs and stomach. Of course she probably saw more than he could remember her seeing as he was out of consciousness for most of it. The woman wasn't lecherous—for that he was happy—as he had met some nasty women in his military days, nor did she seem to tease him about any of that or anything she could have seen. Thinking about it, though, just brought the heat to his face. He carefully took off his torn shirt as there wasn't going to be any way to salvage it anyway.

"Oh that looks painful." Ellone set the locked box on the table. She climbed into the chair and Laguna watched as her eyes looked at his arms. "It's all puffy and stuff. Did you get hwurt a lot, Laguna?"

"Mostly just sore."

"Don't talk too much. You're exhausted," Raine said gently. Laguna felt some of the soreness melt away as Raine rubbed some kind of medicine on his back. He let out some air through his teeth, relaxing at the soft touch. "You might have to take it easy tomorrow."

"I don't think so! He's a warrior!" Ellone gave Laguna a smile. He laughed, a little bitterly as he remembered his own little pep talk and speech to himself earlier that day. "Besides we need our warrior to scare the mwonsters away!"

Raine smoothed her hands down his back. He arched a little bit, hoping she would think it was all about the pain and not about the touch. He rubbed his face with his hands hoping to gather his thoughts. "What did you guys eat for dinner?"

"I'll get it for you!" Ellone raced behind the bar and into the kitchen. Laguna laughed at the girl's eagerness to help. She returned a moment later with his dinner, which was spaghetti.

"Mmm my favorite!" Laguna picked up the fork and started to eat. He made a face as he quickly brought the fork up, and had to coach himself to take it slow. If he was going to take some medicine he had better get something into his stomach. He paid full attention to his food which allowed him to forget the soft hands working their magic into his back and shoulders.

"You look so tired, Laguna!" Ellone leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. She cocked it to the side. "Did the mwonsters beat you up?"

"What me? Never-er-er-er!" Laguna almost choked when something on the side of him stung. The smell made him set his fork down. "Raine!"

"If you are going to get better you need this!" Raine scolded, lifting up the cotton ball she used to put the smelly medicine on his skin. "You don't want to get an infection do you?" She made it out to be more of a statement.

"No, but, that hurts!"

"Oh stop your whining."

Ellone giggled, which quickly turned into a yawn. Raine bandaged up his side and back and asked Laguna if he had any wounds on his lower half. After swallowing hard, he quickly shook his head. Raine placed the medicine back in the kid, and unlocked the box. She handed him some pain medicine. "It'll make you drowsy." She then grabbed Ellone's hand and they started up the stairs. Laguna finished his dinner in quiet. After a debate he decided he ached too much to not take any medicine. He threw it in his mouth, feeling the drowsiness hit him just a few minutes later.

"Come on big guy." Raine came back downstairs from putting Ellone to sleep. "Let's get you to bed."

Raine helped Laguna out of the bar. By the time he made it up the stairs in Ellone's old house he was nodding off. He barely remembered collapsing into bed. Raine threw a blanket over him, said some words he couldn't understand and eventually the world went black.

. . .

"Wake up! _Wake up_!"

Laguna blinked awake. The room was a dizzying bright yellow. His muscles didn't react though, and, without movement, Laguna felt himself slipping back into oblivion.

Until a rough jab in the side caused his scratches to burn. He hissed and jerked into a sitting position. "What are you doing that fo—?"

"Ellone is missing!" The woman in front of him was in hysterics. "I was tending some customers and I heard her saying that she was going to wake you up. Before I could stop her she had ran over here! At least I thought she ran over here and ohmygodsinheaven! Whatifsheishurt? Orlostor—"

"Woah!" Laguna held up a hand, trying to balance on his feet. The medicine really did knock him out as he felt himself waver. "Raine calm down—"

"Icannotcalmdown!" Raine was breathing hard, tears in her eyes. She seemed to be having a panic attack. "Where is she?"

Laguna looked about the room, trying to see if there were any clues of the girl being in there. Finding a different pair of boots, he took a weary step forward, cursing his legs, before striding out the room; Raine mumbling and hiccupping behind him. They looked upstairs before making their way down to the first floor. The bullet holed wall gave Laguna a queasy feeling and the longing for his own steel in his hands. He searched around the room, and then remembered he left his weapon at the bar.

"Raine I need you to breathe. There is no point in worrying at the moment."

"But she isn't here! I promised I'd take care of her and she is gone!"

Laguna turned, seeing the picture of the small family on the table beside him. He remembered his promise. "Raine I promise you I will find her. Safe," he stated turning towards her. He placed a hand on her arm and looked into her tear streamed eyes. Raine shook a little, but nodded weakly. He gave her a reassuring smile, and she nodded a little more confidently. She wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

They made their way back to the bar, Laguna only there to grab his weapon before setting out again into the streets.

He searched every inch of the town square. There was no sign of the little girl. He went over the bridge and decided that he would not check over by the cliff. Ellone knew better than that, he hoped beyond hoped she knew better than playing by that cliff. He passed the flower shop, pausing to inquire about the girl, before reaching the tall grass that separated the town square from the shops and exit.

He wasn't going to look through the grass until he saw something odd in the dirt. He walked over to it and saw a little sandal. _What was she doing in the grass? Doesn't she know that's where the monsters hide_? A cold heaviness clutched at his gut. He pushed the grass apart and called out her name. No answer. He was afraid that he was not going to be able to go through the grass quickly enough, but he had to try. He stepped into it, letting the grass seal him up.

He was happy, if only for just a moment, that he did step through. The grass easily parted showing a path in front of him. Worry struck him as he realized, though, that they path was not made by a little girl but rather something bigger. Something like a monster. Laguna felt his hands tighten over his machine gun as he followed the parted grass.

It weaved, zig-zagged and generally didn't make a nice path through the grass. It was as if someone was just playing with whatever it was playing with. Laguna walked deeper and deeper into it, as he felt the little town of Winhill step farther and farther away from his back and his vision. There was no blood, which was the tiniest of reliefs, though that just made his fear that she was swallowed whole even worse. He cleared his mind of the thoughts and focused on the parted grass in front of him.

_How long does this go out? I feel like I've been following it for an hour._ Laguna quickened his step. The more time he lost the worse the feeling in his gut got. He didn't like gut feelings. If he couldn't save this little girl then he would be a failure in life. The Military also trained in search and rescues and Laguna _always_ rescued what he searched for. The longer you can't find a person, though, the less the chances are of them being found. Especially with a monsters. Humans held hostages, monsters had a meal.

_Stop thinking like that! _Laguna growled to himself.

Suddenly there was sound. Laguna froze in his tracks. The rustling continued. Laguna inched his way forward, not making a sound, straining to hear every rustle, move and voice. _I can't tell what monster it is! Oh Ellone, please be safe. Please, please, please! I can't go home without you! Raine is so worried and I feel sick and—_

"Kweh?"

"_Kweh_?" Laguna repeated, though very much confused. He rounded a corner of grass and there seemed to be a clearing of sorts. There stood a bright yellow chocobo, wings flapping in what could be joy. It was tall and muscular, obviously an adult. In front of it was a chirpy little girl, making noises and mimicking the bird before her, patting the big bird's beak. The chocobo nestled against her small hand chirping back contentedly. Laguna felt a rush of relief before he screamed, "ELLONE!"

The chocobo took this as an attack and immediately grabbed the girl by the collar of her shirt and hightailed it out of the clearing, bending grass in its wake.

"WHY AM I SO STUPID?" Laguna chased after it.

After another ten minutes of chasing, Ellone finally got a glimpse of her chaser. She stopped and calmed the chocobo down, at least enough for it to give Laguna a very weary look, as Ellone was settled onto the grassy floor. "Laguna!"

He held his side, feeling it stich up. "Ell…Elle…Ellone…" he breathed. "Wh…where…?"

"I'm sowwy!" She suddenly got shy, looking at the ground. "I saw you seeping and I didn't want to wake you up! You were so hwurt yesterday and I thought I could help by chasing the mwonsters away…only I didn't have a weapon." She was circling her one sandal in the dirt and grass beneath her. "I gwot in a fight and the monster attacked." She brightened up a little, if only a tad. "But Chokie saved me!"

Laguna looked up at the bird still giving him a glare He almost took a step, but the bird squawked, or kweh'd, and hovered its head over Ellone, almost protectively. He waved a little to it, and its feathers bristled. "I'm sorry I yell…yell…yelled earlier," he managed to say. His side still hurt from running. "Please forgive me, Chokie."

The chocobo gave him a look over, once, twice, before shaking his head. "Kwehh." It moved its head away from Ellone and stood next to her. The big bird would allow him to approach them now.

Laguna limped over, sadly acknowledging that he needed more medicine, and patted the girl on her head. Ellone hugged his leg. "Do you want a ride? I know you hwurt, Laguna. Chokie can take us back!"

Laguna had never ridden a wild chocobo before. He looked up into the bird's eyes. It flicked its own down to the girl, but seemed to lower itself so that they could climb on. It was as if the chocobo could understand Ellone. Laguna sighed. The town was definitely too far away to walk to, and with his condition he probably wouldn't last. He scooped Ellone into his arms, the good side, and clambered onto the chocobo's back. Ellone sat backwards on the bird facing him. "You have a lot of explaining to do. Your Auntie Raine was hysterical." Laguna awkwardly grabbed Chokie as the bird stood up to its full height, wobbling a little at the new weight on its back.

Ellone made a sour face, but it immediately slipped into a giggle as Laguna gave a yelp when the chocobo lurched at full speed towards Winhill.


	6. Chapter Five: Moments

**Chapter Five: Moments**

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_If anything there were just moments of my love life. Yes, Laguna Loire did have one that wasn't just a one sided fancy._

_I say moments because I'm pretty sure I have never had a girlfriend. Just a wife. I mean we might have dated…Well…maybe it wasn't extremely official that we were dating. I don't remember it being official, and why does it have to be official? It was more like we agreed that we've found each other and why go through all of that mushy courting stuff when we knew that we were destined to be together anyway? It really shouldn't matter! I feel as if my scribbles are just scribbles. Where was I going with this anyway?_

* * *

><p>"Drink?"<p>

Laguna nodded his head vigorously. It had been a slow day with the patrol and he was feeling antsy. "This is a pub right? You serve right?"

Raine rolled her eyes. "Stop asking stupid questions."

"Right-o, Commander!"

"Stop calling me that."

Laguna watched as Raine cleaned a glass. It was way past closing time and all of the chairs were sitting on top of tables. Laguna came back from his patrol, ate dinner with Raine and Ellone, but still felt like attacking something. When that happens usually he pushed the anticipation away with a few drinks. "Come on! Just a teeny one!"

"We closed before you even ate dinner." Raine set the glass away on the shelf behind her. Laguna watched as she paused standing very still. She finally turned around and said, "What'll you have?"

"What do you have?"

"Beer."

"And…?"

"Mostly beer."

Raine was making a straight face at him. Laguna quirked an eyebrow. "Really? That's all? Beer is so…so…" He stopped himself when he saw the agitation settle unto Raine's features.

"If you say it's _disgusting_ well too bad!" Raine snapped. "This is _Winhill_. This is a town out in the middle of nowhere! We don't have _fancy fruit drinks_ or _hard liquor_. If you haven't noticed this town is full of elderly and I'm sure they don't need _vodka_!"

Laguna held up his hands. "Someone having a bad day?"

"Don't want to talk about it."

There was an awkward silence. Laguna watched as Raine took the rag and angrily scrubbed at the surface of the bar counter. _With all of the emphasis on the alcohol she must be having the worst day possible!_ he mused. He found himself getting lost in the stare, enjoying it to a point. She became so flustered when she was angry, and he found that somewhat attractive. Her cheeks were tinted hot and the way she was bent over let her hair fall to the sides of her face. Her lips were almost pouty and Laguna found that to be funny though mostly cute. A smile and ounce of mirth fell out of his mouth. Her eyes snapped up to his and he found the glare to be cute also. "What?"

"Nothing! How about you have a drink too?"

"I don't drink on the job," she replied, eyes, no longer on his, squinting.

"Oooh, it's like you don't trust me. Raine! Let's do it!"

She instantly became flustered again, almost stumbling over her words. Her eyes grew wide and she opened and closed her mouth a few times. Laguna let out a chuckle at her sudden awkwardness. He could almost imagine the scenes and images running through her brain. "Don't be so _crass_! Ellone is upstairs!"

"Asleep!" Laguna smiled more as the tint of hot turned into a full blush spreading across her cheeks. He didn't mind the blush and wondered if he could push more crimson into it. "Me, you, alone, beer!"

She seemed to let out a holding breath. "I don't know…"

"When was the last time you had an honest to goodness drink?"

Raine swiped her rag across the bar, though with less vigor than the last angry attempt. She seemed to be lost in thought. "Definitely before Ellone…maybe two years…"

"One year three hundred and sixty-four days too long!" Laguna slapped the counter for emphasis. "I think you could use a dress down—"

"Do you really need to speak that way?" He was successful in the deepening of the blush.

"—and have a cold one!"

Raine, the blush never leaving her skin, stared at Laguna. He winked. She turned away blinking rapidly. "One," and added after a pause, "and that's all you get for free."

"Heeey!"

. . .

A few drinks later, Laguna was almost laughing on the floor. Raine was leaning onto the counter, face red with a little too much in her. "And then, and then! Shhhh! And then she tipped the perfume right over his head!" Laguna laughed an interruption, Raine joining along with him. "He couldn't get the smell of roses off of him for days! The town ladies couldn't get enough!"

"That's hysterical!" Laguna, a little red in the face though not nearly as gone, wiped a tear from his eye. "I would have never guess Elle would have it in her!"

"She got it from her father! That man! He could…he could, he could!" Raine laughed, the sound was such a twitter to Laguna's ears. "He could really reeeaaaalllly make a person laugh!"

Laguna took another swig from his mug. Normally he hated the taste of beer, with the bitter taste of the Galbadian army beer or the no taste of the city's greatest bar draft, but it would seem that Raine made her own around this place. It had a nice nutty flavor in it and didn't leave a sickening aftertaste, and as long as she was giving him some he would drink. Suddenly curious of the topic, he asked, "What were her parents like?"

Raine's face smoothed into a smile; albeit a little strained. "Nice. Her mother especially. She was the daughter of the former flower seller, so she knew a lot about flowers. She was very beautiful, the most beautiful around…" She sighed. "I was always jealous—just a little. I hope Ellone grows up to be like her. That might become a handful though," Raine said with a laugh. "Her mother didn't know how to keep the boys off of her when we were younger! Always was swatting them away!

"Oh, when she met that husband of hers. I didn't agree with it, though no one did really, at first. This town is hard to change their ways and I was sadly just like them. He wasn't from around here. Such a strange mannered person, he was, with an off way of laughing at life. He was just traveling through but got caught up in the flower shops daughter. They hit it off, but it took a long time for the village to accept.

"They were married only about six years ago. Elle was born soon after." Raine ended a little sadly, but continued saying, "She was only two years old when her parents died."

Laguna was caught by surprise when a tear rolled down her cheek. "I was so angry at them! How could they just…die? Leave her so alone…but then I realized if they hadn't…if they hadn't done what they had done. If they didn't protect her…then…"

Laguna didn't hesitate when he lifted his hands and placed them on the sides of her face, thumbs reaching to wipe away the tears off of her warm cheeks. He couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the touch, but her face got warmer. He wasn't expecting the night to take a turn like this. "Was I wrong? Was I too young? I wasn't like her mother…I wasn't prepared for a two year old girl. I took her in anyway. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm okay? Am I a good mother?" She looked to be searching for an answer, a moment of relief.

Laguna swallowed a little too audibly, but he encouraged her with a nod. Raine sniffed and lifted her hands to cover his. "Ellone would have been the next Sorceress. I can't imagine wishing that on a child. I had to take her in. I loved her." She almost laughed. Laguna let go of her face, though her fingers still lingered when he set them down on the counter. "Even at such a young age she would stumble over to the bar and charm all of the old stuffy men into giving her little things and treats. She was so brave. She still is brave."

"Did you clean up the house?" Laguna didn't know where the question was coming from but it left his lips anyway. _Why not ask?_ "I mean there were so many bullet holes."

"It was unnecessary." Raine's expression darkened. Her hands tightened around his. "Totally ruthless. I couldn't be there when they took the bodies out. I didn't think I'd be able to handle it, but I did go in after. The other ladies of this town helped too, as much as they could. Ellone was passed between all of us as the mayor tried to find any other relatives outside of here. Her father must not have had any and sadly Ellone's grandmother died a year after she was born.

"It was decided that I would take care of her. I volunteered. I was very close to her mother. We worked the flower shop together." Raine grew quiet. She broke eye contact, instead staring down. "I'm sorry, Laguna. I didn't mean to cry. This has been on my mind all day."

"Hey, everyone cries!" Understanding the outburst earlier in the night, Laguna tried to lighten her mood, even a little bit. He liked her smile more than the shy frown. "I cry!"

Raine laughed. She let go of his hands and wiped away the lingering tears with her palms. "You cry like a baby though."

Laguna feigned hurt, Raine waved her hand. Her eyes moved to his. She seemed to be searching for a moment, before a real smile came to her face. "Thank you for listening."

"No problem," he said, a genuine smile of his own blooming on his face. "Thanks for the beer!"

"You owe me!" Laguna whined. "No whining!" Raine laughed.

. . .

"Walk me to the store, Laguna."

"You're always so commanding, Commander."

It had been an odd few months in this small village. It was getting colder, but other than that nothing much had changed; though there was a steady wave of injured men coming home to worried, though mostly happy, wives and mothers. The war was still happening, though, and the longer it went on the more people left the town. There were still monsters about, so there was still a job left for Laguna.

He walked outside the bar with Raine. Ellone was playing with the mayor's grandson leaving the two of them alone between Laguna's rounds. Thinking of the little girl, Laguna asked, "What was going on with Ellone yesterday? She seems fine today."

Raine walked on silently. Laguna waited while for an answer, though his patience and curiosity was causing him to wonder why she was taking so long. It wasn't until they crossed over the bridge that Raine started to speak. "Well…you remember how I told you the Sorceress wanted her along with the other girls in the village?"

"Yeah."

"She has a..." Raine stopped, waving to an elderly couple who walked their way. Laguna guessed this was a more private conversation. "A weird thing. I don't know. A premonition ability, perhaps? Anyway, there have been a couple of times where she will say something to me but her lips don't move. I'm not sure what's going on, and I'm used to it by now, but she is special." She paused again, though this time in thought. "It was coincidence, though, that the Estharian soldiers came here to collect all of the little girls…but somehow…I'm not all the way convinced. I think the Sorceress knows."

"So…what happened yesterday?"

Raine shrugged nonchalantly. "Just that. She communicated without speaking and one of the women got a little scared. She rushed home upset."

"Ah." Laguna's eyes scanned for monsters as they stepped closer to the edge of the village. He tried to think about his interactions with Ellone in the last few months, though couldn't remember anything happening between them. Before he could ask any other questions though, they reached the shop.

"They really hate me in here…"

"Oh come on," Raine chided.

"Miss Leonhart!" The woman behind the counter peered at Laguna. "And…friend."

_They really don't trust outsiders…_Laguna just scratched his head and offered a lopsided grin. The woman didn't return the favor. Raine pulled some items off the shelves, examining some and carrying others. Laguna did his own shopping, looking for potions and other medicines to help him with the patrols.

As he waited for Raine to finish her shopping, he let his mind wander. Being in this town had changed him a little. His longing for being out on the road had definitely disappeared, if not dwindled to a slow, dull edge that cut him only sometimes. He was keeping fit and training with the monsters in town. If the town appreciated anything he did, they appreciated the fewer fiends that ran amuck terrorizing the children. Though he couldn't get through to all of the people. He glanced at the shop keeper who threw him a nasty frown. He sighed.

_At least Elle likes me,_ he sniffled to himself. _And Raine…I think she does anyway._ His eyes found the woman in front of him, staring at some tools. His eyes traced her features, the way her brow furrowed in concentration, the way her hair stuck up in odd places behind that head band, the way her lips curved and it didn't matter up or down, the way she held herself at the moment with an air of slight irritation (probably from the lack of list writing on her part), the way her knitted sweater hung loosely from her body. It gave him a moment to imagine just what exactly she looked like underneath.

A slight pain shot through his left leg, almost a hint of a cramp. _Stop thinking like that! Raine's not attractive. I mean she is—not that I need to think like that—should I think like that? Does she like me—I mean in that way…the way that she could like me? What does that _even_ mean?_ He rubbed the top of his thigh wishing the pain would go away. His eyes still watched the woman's every move, though he wasn't sure if that was intentional or not. _She is a nice pause for the eyes anyway_, he thought dumbly. He continued,_ She couldn't. We're friends! We're Commander and servant. Ouch. That's a low way of thinking of yourself, Laguna. Raine couldn't possibly want you. Never! You're just a military man, bound to nothing. A floater. A worthless wanderer that no one likes. Remember her stories? Yeah. Well, remember she didn't like Ellone's dad. He was an outsider._

He almost didn't hear the woman at the counter. His mind snapped back into reality just as she said "…very _rude_ to stare!"

"Huh?"

"Laguna, are you buying that?" Raine asked in a hurried like manner. She looked a little flustered.

He inwardly groaned as he realized that she and the shopkeeper caught his gaze. Or was he intensely staring? He placed the items on the counter and leafed through his pockets for gil. She told him the price and he paid the lady. She took his money with eager hands, but offered no warmth in her voice.

"Goodbye Miss Leonhart!" There was no room for Laguna.

They took a few steps back toward the pub. Raine turned to him, he caught her gaze. "So what _were_ you staring at?" Raine looked up at him, almost shyly. She looked a little playful.

Laguna felt uncomfortable immediately. He scratched his head. "Oh. Nothing…special." He winced at the last word. Of all the times for him to say something wrong.

Raine huffed, which is what he expected. Her mood would not be good after _that_ comment. "You really can't take anything seriously can you? Always skimming around something. And…and…" She turned pink, turning away. "Never mind."

Laguna spent the remainder of the walk back in silence and always two steps behind. He just wouldn't be able to understand women.

. . .

Words repeated inside of his head:

_"Raine... Aren't yoo gonna marry Uncle Laguna?"_

_"A guy like that?"_

Laguna flopped around in his bed. Kiros lay snoring lightly on the floor next to him. He cursed him for letting him listen in on the girl talk. Girl talk never led to anything good. Girl talk was most definitely private talk. If Raine knew they eavesdropped he would not hear the end of it. Though the conversation wasn't bad, he didn't feel like he should have listened. Also, he would now think about every word said between the ladies, as he was doing so right then.

Raine couldn't stand his travel talk. She couldn't understand why he was so crude, or if he was going to make it in life. _She cares?_ All he could think about was the concern laced with anger in her voice. _She cares?_ he asked himself again. _Of all things to care about…about me anyway…she cares whether I make it as a journalist?_

_Yet…she insults me…_he sighed, rolling over again. He felt restless and definitely wide awake. The words repeated inside of his head. _She feels the same way? As Ellone? What does Elle feel? Can that be called love? Uhhh…that word._ He lifted his left leg up, trying to move the cramp out. That word was just a cramp waiting to happen for him. He dropped it back to the bed, flinching at the squeaks and groans it made. His eyes flickered to his companion still snoring on the floor. Eyes traveled up to the ceiling. He felt anxiety, as if his crush was about to tell him a secret and that secret may not be what he wants to hear. He sighed willing the anxiety to leave, mind racing to find out what he needed to know.

Did he feel that way about Raine?

Could he make a life here?

Was this what he wanted?

Kiros said himself that he was a changed man. He agreed, silently, but was afraid of that. He was afraid of being stuck. Not traveling, not seeing the rest of the world. The military offered him all of that. His writing could _sell_ places. He would be in magazines and papers probably.

The monsters were attacking less and less. People were starting to make their way outside. Was Laguna needed any longer? Could he safely leave this little town?_ Is that what I really want? Leave Winhill…how does that feel?_

It felt devastating. And he was angry that that was the emotion.

His chest constricted. He could feel his lips diving further down. The emotion wasn't allowing him to breathe. He _couldn't_ breathe when he thought about telling Ellone goodbye. Though the traveling, the sightseeing, the people he could meet fought that constriction.

_I want to travel. I want to see the world! I can't be here the rest of my life, no way! That's not like me at all!_ But—

"_Raine, Uncle Laguna and Elle should all be together!"_

_"...I feel the same as you, Ellone."_

—he was willing to give that all up.

. . .

It became increasingly hard to stay around Raine. For him it was awkward and emotional to even have a conversation with her. Kiros was still around, and Laguna hoped that the excuse of "I need to catch up with a good friend." would give him more time to think about his life and what he saw of the future.

Kiros also gave his opinion every once and awhile, not that the differing responses helped.

"What about your dreams, then? In the war you were always talking about traveling and writing this and I-don't-want-to-fight-forever that. Now you're willing to fight forever and stay stationary? It's not like you."

Or:

"If you really like Raine, go for it. I think you need someone you can talk to about anything. I sure don't want to hear about your lack of love life."

"Kiros!" Laguna finally snapped. They were sitting outside of Raine's pub now, the patrolling done for the afternoon. Laguna looked behind him to make sure the girl in their talk wasn't paying any attention. "You are not helping my situation whatsoever!" He threw an arm over his face dramatically. "What am I supposed to do? I _can't_ stay here!"

"Do you _want_ to stay here?"

"Yes!"

"Well then, that's your problem." Kiros laughed at the glare sent his way. He pushed the braids over his shoulder as he stretched his arms out towards the sky. "I can't help you make that decision."

"Well, you're as sure as hel—Ellone!"

The little girl waved brightly with one hand. The mayor's wife was watching her cross the town square from the porch, and sent Laguna a wave also. He reached out his arms and pulled the little girl into his lap. She giggled. "Helloo Uncle Laguna! Helloo Kiro!"

"Almost! You forgot the 's' again!" Laguna tickled her sides.

"Ha ha, sowwy! Kiros!"

"Hello, Ellone."

"What are you two dooing? I thought there were patrolling!"

"We're done for the day, Assistant Commander! There were only twenty monsters milling about the town!"

"Good job!" Ellone gave her little salute. Laguna and Kiros followed suit. "Maybe Raine has some juice and we can celebrwate?"

Still a little uncomfortable at being around Raine, but not wanting to spoil Ellone's good intentions and mood he agreed and she sprinted inside of the pub. Kiros nudged Laguna in his side. "We'd better go in."

"Yeah."

Inside, Ellone was sitting at the bar counter. Raine was underneath in the icebox that was under there. Kiros and Laguna took a seat on either side of Ellone, waiting for the woman to stand back up. "She's going to make some smoothies!" Ellone excitedly told them the news. "She's getting all the fruit now!"

"Twenty monsters down and the town is virtually quiet." Raine set the different kinds of fruit down in front of her. There wasn't too much to choose from, but there were still many combinations. She looked at each of them. "What'll it be?"

"Apple and orange smoothie, please!" Ellone patted the counter in what looked like an intimidating way; as intimidating as a four and a half year old could be anyway.

Raine laughed. "Such an odd combination for such an odd little girl." She glanced up at the boys, her eyes lingering on Laguna a little longer then he found necessary. "And for you?"

"Just apples, thank you," Kiros said quietly.

"Uhh, do you have strawberries and bananas?" Laguna awkwardly looked down and away as he said it.

Raine remembered the orders and set to work. Ellone drummed a rhythm on the counter in their wake, the men silently listening as Raine blended the fruits together.

A few minutes later everyone was enjoying their little treat. Ellone happily sucked her smoothie through a straw and kicked the back board of the counter continuing with the rhythm she set up earlier. After a while Raine reminded her that she could break it, and that she should stop. The kicking vanished.

Laguna found himself staring dreamily, zoned out, though his stare was only on one person. There was a clearing of the throat and he looked over at his friend. "Ellone, why don't you give me a tour of the village? I hear you are a great story teller."

Laguna looked incredulously at his comrade, trying to give him the hint that he did not want to be left alone with Raine. He glanced at Raine, who was staring at him. Her eyebrows were knitted and he knew that she was a little angry about something. She looked over at Kiros, then Ellone. "Yes, I think that would be a good idea."

"Really? Me and Mr. Kiros are gowing to have an adventure!" The little girl was so excited to show off her story telling. "And fight the bad guys!"

"Leave that to me." Kiros got up and shouldered his weapons with one hand, the other held out for the girl to take. She took it eagerly and waved goodbye at the two at the counter.

Laguna listened to the girl on the way out, shifting the rest of his smoothie to the side of him. Raine set her own cup away, but was holding his eye contact. He gave her a weak smile, but she wasn't smiling back.

"We need to talk." —


	7. Chapter Six: Confrontation on Many Front

**Chapter Six: **Confrontation on Many Fronts

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_Sorry for the cut off! I didn't mean it, promise. I…actually fell asleep. Not gonna lie. We're coming close to the halfway point of our journey!_

_Galbadia Garden. I guess after this last war it kinda floated back to where it belonged. I've heard it's a big place, though I've never visited a Garden before. I'm not sure what the hype is. Actually, I think I'm the only one that doesn't understand. Ward's making his goofy faces and Kiros has been describing it to me. Eh. I've always wanted to visit Balamb Garden more. I don't know…that place sounds friendlier? Well, and that's where Squall is._

_Yeah. Anyway. I was telling you about my love life…_

* * *

><p>Raine didn't take her eyes off of Laguna, which did make him a little nervous. Serious conversations and situations made him nervous and he tried to avoid them like the plague. Lightening up the situation with a joke or a mild flirt usually got him out of these kinds of things, but Raine was not the sort to avoid something that sticks out like a sore thumb. She wouldn't take her eyes off of him. He sighed. <em>Time to be a big boy…<em>

"I know we need to talk…" Laguna gave in. He looked away. He was trying to say the next sentence in a lighthearted, nonchalant way, "I don't know if I _want_ to—"

"You _will not_ get out of this one." That response gave Laguna the feeling that the nonchalance didn't come off the way it was intended. Raine pushed the glasses away from them even more and set both hands on the counter. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

She was looking at him so seriously. Laguna's legs started to twitch, wanting to move before the awkwardness settled. What did she mean? "What that I…" _That I love you? That I can't see myself moving away from you and Ellone?_ He couldn't finish that sentence.

Raine looked away for a moment blowing out some air. Her eyes met his and he could see that they looked hurt. He had no idea why. "I _knew_ this was coming. I just knew it."

"Listen…if you don't want me to say it—" _I'm all for it! Situation averted!_

"I do! I want you to say it! To my face!" Raine's hair was bobbing with every movement she made in an almost distracting way. Had her voice suddenly not gone up a pitch she would have lost his attention. "I knew this was going to happen. And Ellone! Oh she's…she's…" Laguna watched as she swiped at her eyes.

_Was she crying? _Is_ she crying? I don't think I understand. _"I don't think I understand."

"What's there to under…understand?" The stumbling of words happened. He knew she was upset, but the reason why wasn't appearing the actions. "I'm not…I'm not stupid!"

"No one said you were? Raine I think we're under wrong impressions…"

Raine seemed to be getting angrier. She frowned deeply and her brow creased. Her hands clasped together until her knuckles burned white. Laguna saw her fight off the crying but it didn't hide the fact that the tears were ready to spill. He knew that this was his chance to diffuse the situation but he hesitated one moment too much.

"If…if you are really going to go, please just go!" She shook a little. Laguna's mouth just popped open. She took this the wrong way. "You mind as well just leave! You really _weren't_ going to tell us? You didn't come to me to talk about it, but, oh, you _never_ do come to me for anything! Nothing! You can't handle a serious conversation!"

"Raine! No please stop! I would have told you…" He winced at his choice of wording. Words were failing him for one of the few times in his life.

Raine just became more desperate. His hesitation and trying to speak without digging his hole deeper allowed Raine to cry out, "I knew it. I knew it wasn't…wasn't…going…to happen…you staying just couldn't happen… Us? We…" The tears were finally winning, as were the hiccups. She didn't even try to stop them as they fell sadly onto the counter. "Laguna, I…!"

He didn't know what he was trying to do. Was he trying to prove something? What did this prove? The thoughts didn't stop his lips from grasping hers. Suddenly the world seemed to tilt confused to its side, then stop. What was going to happen after this point was a complete mystery to Laguna, but there was no other choice to get her to finally stop stuttering. There was a muffled gasp, an eager tongue trying to gain entrance to her mouth, but those moments stopped when she just snapped her lips shut, not allowing him to enter. She was hesitant. He could wait, and as he did he could feel the tears, feel the heat from her face. As soon as the shock was over, though, she kissed him back a little. _When words fail…_

He let her go to breathe. He smiled at the blush that spread around her quickly. Her mouth was parted slightly and she was breathing sharply. She was definitely at a loss for words. _Which is all I need!_ "Can I talk?" Raine nodded a yes. "I'm not leaving. I haven't thought of leaving…seriously, anyway," he added quickly when he saw the motion for an intake of breath as if she was going to talk. "I've been thinking a lot lately…and when Kiros came I had to think seriously. Believe me. That's hard." He laughed a little. A smile almost came to her lips. "I…I can't leave. Ellone's wrapped me around her pinky, ya know? I can't leave her…and I can't leave you either."

There was a silence that wasn't uncomfortable but oddly the quietest he's ever felt. She finally broke it with, "So you aren't leaving?"

"No."

"Oh."

Laguna could have laughed. _What is making this so funny? I've never had to hold my tongue so much!_ And then he remembered that he kissed her. His hand hit his face, covering his lips. He felt his own face heat up, as he muffled an apology. "Ah! Ahh! I'm sorry!"

Raine did laugh. Laguna's could feel the bubble of words wanting to escape him. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to…invade? Oh my!"

"Your face is so red," she commented. She was shifting back and forth now. Her voice came up softly. "I didn't mind it you know."

"I mean…I didn't either…I think we still need to talk."

Raine's laughed brought a smile to his face. "Yes, but later."

. . .

The year was complete, more than complete. For Laguna it was hard for him to believe it had even been fourteen months since he washed up in this little place.

And how he had changed. He admitted to himself that he did like Winhill, even if that one shop keeper didn't like him at all. For the other towns people, that was changing. The little town rarely had any monster attacks and now that people moved freely, and some of the injured men were helping with the patrols, Ellone and other children could move around the town square without the fear of being attacked. Laguna watched as the said girl shrieked when the other children threw water on her.

It was hot.

It was summer.

Ellone was playing water tag with the village kids. The pub was one place where they could refill their buckets. It was Laguna's job to make sure they at least wiped their feet so they didn't hurt themselves running in on the hard floor.

"Uncle Laguna!" Ellone waved. "Yoo should come play!" There was a chorus of young voices agreeing, "yeah, yeah!"

"Ha ha, no thank you! I don't want to ruin your fun!"

Ellone laughed. "Yoo won't! Promise!"

"Who's going to make sure none of the monsters come to attack?" he called back. "No thank you!"

She stuck out her tongue, which he did right back, and she giggled and went back to her playing.

An arm snaked its way around his waist. Laguna looked down to see Raine snuggled into his side. Her hair was pulled up and out of her face, which was a rare sight to see. Her shoulders were bare, and a little tanned from all the work she was able to do outside. She tilted her head up. "She asked you to play?"

"Yeah, but I just want to make sure there are no monsters," he replied, hugging her closer. "Besides this is waaay more comfortable. And dry."

Raine laughed. He enjoyed their closeness that seemed to edge its way into their lives the past few months. He let his mind wander a little as his eyes focused on the small group throwing water in the air. Ellone would be turning five soon and he was trying to think of something he could get for her.

"What does Elle like?"

"You mean present-wise?" Raine asked, looking thoughtful. "She's surprisingly not as materialistic as most of these other children are. Remember when she came home and asked why Tory made such a fuss at his birthday party? She just couldn't understand why anyone would be upset about getting a present. Even if it was just a flower and that's all she got."

"Flowers, eh?"

Raine poked his side her arm was reached around. Laguna squirmed away from her finger, bumping Raine repeatedly at his side. "I won't let you get away with just picking a flower and giving it to her. She deserves better."

Laguna scratched his head and smiled. "Well, I know she deserves better…I'm just not sure what to get her." He tapped his chin, looking up into the sky. "What does she dream of? Or what is her biggest wish?" he asked.

Raine let go of him to fold her arms around her. She was screwing up her own face as if trying to remember a memory. "She said it to me a few weeks ago in passing. Now what was it…?"

Laguna watched as she thought. Her eyes lit up and he knew she finally remembered. "She said her biggest wish was just to have family. She's such a grown up inside of that little head." Raine smiled up at Laguna. "She just wants to know that this little family won't be separated."

"Am I included in that equation of hers?"

"As long as you don't give her a flower for her birthday," she chided with a laugh. She was going to poke him again, but Laguna caught her hand and gave it a kiss. Raine's face lit up, leaning in. He let go of her hand and met her half way, lips brushing lips.

Just a moment after he had done so, he found himself dripping from head to boots in water. He blinked a few times before turning his head to the guilty one. She didn't seem that guilty though. "No kissy-kissy time! Do it somepwace else!"

"Oh. You are _so_ going to get it!"

Raine laughed as he chased the young girl, and the army of children, grabbing a discarded pail of water as he did so.

. . .

Laguna found Raine sitting on the pub doorstep one night. The night was cooler then the days, though the air still stuck to his skin in the heat. Soon enough, though, the weather would cool down considerably. Most of the village couldn't wait for it. He took his seat next to her, crossing his legs and leaning back to star up at the stars. Raine joined him, though she looked thoughtful.

"Can you tell me about her?"

Laguna frowned, confused. "What? Who?"

"That girl. You were so flustered about her when Kiros told you what happened." She was looking at him now. "Julia."

"Oh well…" Laguna scratched his cheek. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear this…this…ah…story," he finished lamely.

"Oh, I'm sure I do." Raine sat up again, wrapping arms around knees.

Laguna sighed. He thought back to his little fling—if he could really even call it that—with Miss Julia Heartilly, the piano lady. He closed his eyes. "I met Julia while I was still in the army. Well…I mean I didn't talk to her right away. You see she played the piano. Well you already know that. I mean she has that song…I still really haven't heard it…so much. I have. She still plays the piano, I think. I hope she does."

"Laguna you're rambling."

"Right, well…why do you want to know?" he asked, suddenly flustered but more curious.

Raine looked away, shrugging her shoulders. Laguna watched the motion for a moment, and sat up. "I listened to Julia play the piano. Whenever I was home in Galbadia, I'd have a drink with the guys and we'd listen to her play." Laguna looked upwards again. "I remember being so entranced by it, I fell in love. I mean with her? With her piano playing? She always looked so lonely up there playing…I just…" He paused, not sure where he was going. "Anyway, she talked to me one night and it kinda went from there. I mean…uh…well we didn't do anything…just talked…all night."

There was a pause. Raine still was not looking at him. Laguna tilted his head. "Raine?"

"Why didn't you go back to her?" She sounded upset. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why.

"I left and ended up here." Laguna sat forward, trying to look at her face. At least he would be able to see what was upsetting her. She turned away. He sighed. "I don't understand…"

"I don't understand!" She threw her hands up. Laguna's eyebrows shot up with them. "You sound so in _love_! But you stayed here instead? You didn't leave after you got better. You never sent her a letter, or anything to tell her that you were okay!" She looked at his face. "Why didn't you go back to her?" she asked again.

"I don't know…" Laguna honestly answered. That wasn't enough for this woman in front of him. She huffed, looking like she was getting ready to leave. Laguna pulled her back, though. "Can't I say anything right?"

"No." Raine looked heated. "Sometimes," she added a little more softly, as if she didn't mean the first statement.

Laguna tried to give her his best smile, though it wore like a grimace. "Julia is the past."

"She could have been your future—"

"Shh!" He clamped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes squinted at him. "Lemme talk, lady!" He slowly let her hand down. Raine crossed her arms but he knew she would let him finish. "I don't know why I didn't let Julia know I was okay. For obvious reasons, the first few months I was here I was out of commission. I couldn't write. Couldn't hold a pencil. I did some thinking though. A lot of it." He shrugged as if what he was going to say would have happened no matter how much he thought of the red-dress piano beauty. "Something inside of me said that I was meant to give Julia her inspiration, and that's it. Sure it could have been true love, not just the one we shared for that short while had I gone back, but that doesn't matter."

"It does."

"It doesn't." Raine huffed again, a glare was sent his way. He continued on: "It doesn't because I have Elle. I have this wonderful little village I would have never stepped into on my own. I have Chokie, or whatever its name is, the stupid bird. I have you. Oh, do I have you." He placed a hand on Raine's cheek. She uncrossed her arms. "Why does the past matter when I have my own present and future right in front of me?"

_Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Oh _Gods_ above, I can't believe that just came out of my mouth! I'm so—_Laguna stopped his thoughts as Raine pounced on him.

She was butterfly kissing his face, and it almost tickled. He was fighting the laughter she was causing while his heartbeat sped up. She was whispering something, and it took a moment for his heart to calm down enough for him to hear, "I love you. I love you. I love you."

He forced the kisses to stop with both of his hands on her cheeks. Breathlessly and teasingly he asked, "Raine, say it again? A little louder for the hard of hearing."

Her face stained pink as she broke from the cheek-lock and kissed him fully on the mouth. It deepened and Laguna found himself hugging her closer to him to get better access. When she broke the kiss, she said, "I love you."

And he found himself saying the same.

. . .

Hello everyone! I haven't done an Author's Note this whole story! I guess I get too excited to upload the next chapter.  
>I just want to apologize for the awkward updating-of-the-story pace I have set here. And it's going to get more awkward with school coming up. It may become random. It's also taking me a long time to get through Laguna and Raine. I was only going to have two chapters with their story, but it just keeps on expanding! I like them too much.<p>

Here's to the little update. Just so you guys know.

Love, La'Ruelia


	8. Chapter Seven: The Perfect Moment

**Chapter Seven:** The Perfect Moment

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_Galbadia Garden. Are all Gardens this big? It's ginormous! Really. I mean it's not as big as Esthar, nothing is of course, but for a school of mercenaries, it's not bad. No wonder the Sorceresses liked this place. There seemed to be so many secrets._

_They were getting ready for a festival when we finally arrived. If it wasn't for my gorgeous face we could have gone through without fuss, but instead…well we became guests of honor. Not many knew I was the President of a forgotten city, but surprise. The military did. We just had to stay, as much as Ward didn't want to. It's uncomfortable for him because he can't answer questions like "What is it like to be next to such a Superstar like Laguna Loire?" …On second thought, I'm perfectly okay with him not spoiling my image to all my fans._

_I wrote another letter and sent it to the person waiting. Looks like we are taking a mini-vacation within the vacation. I don't think dshe will mind. I hope not anyway. It's been so long since Kiros, Ward and I were able to relax and just talk. This war has drug everyone down. Well. I suppose that's why this Garden needed to party._

_And so they did. Hard._

_It's like a University here! I mean that's where normal students go right? I went straight into the army, well…not straight there. I took some years off after I finished secondary school. Ah. Here I am getting sidetracked._

_I spend too much time in the past._

* * *

><p>Laguna suddenly knew what he was going to get Ellone for her birthday, as he rolled around in his bed.<p>

. . .

Phase one of his plan was the whole point of the plan. He could knock out two birds with one stone; as long as he was able to get through the first part of the plan. If it didn't work, then there wasn't any birthday gift for Ellone and there would be the possibility he'd want to leave town out of embarrassment. The thought that he could fail made Laguna nervous and he postponed the event another day.

_I've really got to get myself together! How am I supposed to get this done? I need to do this…Elle isn't getting any younger._

He went through the plan again in his head. The morning air was chilly and it gave him motivation to keep moving through his patrol. As there weren't many monsters, and if one sadly came his way it didn't last long, it allowed him to think. He knew what he had to do; it was just the fact that every time he went to go ask Raine to meet him that night, he'd suddenly get cold feet. More like he was going to be sick and couldn't even open his mouth to say anything kind of cold feet. Also the leg cramps came back in full force. The whole event would end with an awkward forced laugh and a shake of the head.

_I can do this_, he repeated to himself. It only took a little courage to get it out in the open.

He found himself at the edge of town. Four monsters and the patrol was over. He stretched a little and then started his way back up. He waved to the few villagers that acknowledged him, which was more than the zero villagers he had when he first came to this tiny place, and continued with his own encouragement. Bits and pieces of his plan were already done. He had gone out of town just a week and a half before to get the two specific items he had ordered in Timber. He came back to Winhill with some other items to explain his absence, though hiding the truth from Ellone and Raine was a little difficult. Now he just needed the courage to walk into Raine's bar, look her in the face, clear his throat and finally say what was needed to say. He went through this plan a few times in his mind feeling the slight uneasiness flow out away from him.

"Uncle Laguna!"

Laguna smiled and waved at the little girl that was racing towards him. When she got close enough she jumped just a little, but Laguna was used to this. He caught her and twirled her around in a circle, then placed her on his shoulders. Ellone had a fit of giggles and slight screeches as Laguna bounced them around. She dug her fingers in his hair and tugged on him to run. He took a little lap around the square before finally setting her on the ground. Ellone hung onto his leg as he stomped up to the pub.

He marched right in with her still tightly woven onto his leg. There were a few older men and a friend of Raine's hanging around, the former sipping on glasses. Laguna laughed to himself, he honestly wondered why Raine sold any type of alcohol at nine in the morning, and the laugh turned into a sigh as he caught sight of the woman in front of him. She was wearing a light orange long sleeve shirt that was v shape in the collar. Her brown hair was swept in a bun and away from her crystal blue eyes. She had a smile on her face as she listened to her friend's story. He couldn't believe how she could just make him lose all sense when she was in the room. His heart thumped in his chest and he could feel his body tingle with electricity when their eyes meet. He was hopelessly in love.

When he had a crush on Julia Heartilly it was not as devastating as this. He knew that if he could find someone else who could make him go crazy even more than the piano girl—the supposed girl of his absolute dreams—then he has found the perfect soul mate. He didn't know how to express his feelings well, but Raine was the kind of person to understand and love him for that anyway. He couldn't see himself living life without Raine or the tiny girl attached to his leg.

As soon as Raine saw the two of them, she stopped what she was doing and her arms fell onto her hips. The smile dispersed. "Ellone. I've said this before." He voice was stern but not uncaring.

The young girl quickly scrambled down off of Laguna's leg. She smiled up to the other woman, looking a little goofy as she had just lost a tooth. "Sowwy!"

Before Raine could reprimand her any further, she was already skipping over to the older men, playing cute. Laguna watched as they harmlessly laughed and patted her head. One offered her a piece of hard candy which she gladly took.

When he glanced back to Raine she was busy talking to her friend again.

The unease crept back up in his life and he felt his left leg twitch. He sighed. It wasn't the right moment.

. . .

"Perhaps we can have a random rendezvous when it's not pouring outside?"

Laguna cursed the sudden fall weather. Ellone's birthday was in two weeks. At this rate he wouldn't have any time to do any of the phases he had in mind. Raine kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "raincheck." Laguna felt his face heat up at the feel of her breath on his cheek, and nodded sharply. Raine laughed at his expense and went back to clearing up the bar.

. . .

When the weather cleared he had a week and a half left.

. . .

Two days later he was quietly waiting for the last person to leave the bar. It was the perfect moment. The moon was out. The weather was clear. It wasn't too chilly. Ellone was at a friend's house and they could be perfectly alone together. When the last call rang and the final stumbling person left, Laguna ignored his beating heart and found his voice. "Hey! Random rendezvous is back in action!"

Raine laughed and continued to wipe the bar down. Laguna scratched his head happy she wasn't looking him in the eye. He might not have found the courage if her eyes sank into him just yet. She was wearing the old crème like turtleneck and her headband allowed her hair to be away from her eyes, though the curtain on the sides couldn't be avoided. She swept her hair to one shoulder and looked at him sideways. "What is the plan?"

"Well." Laguna couldn't give it away. "I just wanted to have a romantic meeting with the love of my life in a secret—but not really secret or else how could you find me?—location."

Raine's smile grew wider. She leaned on the counter, one hand curling around her face. "And where are we meeting?"

"The field in two hours?" Laguna had to make sure he was fully ready and there were no monsters in the perimeter to ruin the moment. He added, "Please?"

"Way past my bedtime," she said with a sigh. Laguna mock pouted. "But I suppose. Just this once."

"Perfect!" he cried out. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips and bolted out of the pub. He needed to get ready.

. . .

It was the best location. No monsters were lurking and the wind stopped blowing the cold against him. He could only see the rolling hills and hear the faint roll of the sea. The whole field seemed to be lit up by the moon. The ground flushed silver under its rays and suddenly Laguna felt sick as he saw the brown haired woman come into view.

. . .

He was making a fool of himself sadly. Mumbling words, catching her sweet gaze and her softly quizzing eyes and getting lost for seconds of their time. He could see the smile in them, and he just knew in his head he was making a fool of himself. She teased him and he felt his stomach flip over. How could he think he could do this?

He made a quick wave, turned his back and sucked in a quick intake of breath to allow his stomach to settle. He knew that if she didn't stop him now, he would just leave Winhill for good.

He heard the footsteps following him and the soft, though urgent, apologies leaving her mouth. He stopped suddenly, tore into his pocket and turned so quickly she froze in her steps.

Before he knew it he was twisting the ring onto her finger.

She gazed, said a few things and looked up at him. Her eyes were wide with shock and something he couldn't quite place. It was almost as if she didn't understand, or maybe he just needed a refresher too. He finally closed his mouth and held up his own hand, the matching ring wrapped around his finger.

And unexpectedly she was crying, holding onto him. At first he took it for a bad sign, the tears always confused him, but she was clinging onto him. She was holding in desperation, adoration, shock and love. The last word finally allowed him to wrap his own arms around her.

Suddenly everything seemed okay.

. . .

Raine finally let him go only to tangle her fingers with his. She stared down at the latched fingers and couldn't hold the shaky laugh away. "I can't believe it."

Laguna chuckled. "I can't believe I did it. You know if you didn't start following me I was planning on high-tailing it back to Winhill and packing away?"

"I'm glad I felt sorry for the teasing then." She broke their hands apart and looked up into his face. He lifted a ringed finger to her cheek and she leaned against it. He felt her sigh into him and couldn't repress the smile that spread warmly across his features. He marveled at his new fiancée, now that he could officially call her that. He let them stay there like that for a moment before he remembered Ellone. The little girl's present could now be made.

"And now, phase two!" Laguna grabbed Raine's hand. "Now I can get Elle the perfect gift!"

He suddenly wasn't holding Raine's hand any more. He turned to her and saw that she wore a bemused look. "So. You proposed only to get Ellone a gift? Is this only temporary?"

As much as he knew she was teasing, it did strike him in the heart a little. He usually jumped from subject to subject but he didn't think to let this one settle down first. He laughed guiltily and ran a hand through his hair. "No. Definitely not. This is permanent, as long as you want it to be."

He felt Raine wrap her arms around him. He leaned his chin to the top of her head. "Sorry. I'm just really excited. I get so…so…"

"Distracted? Jumpy? Awkward?" Raine finished for him. He laughed. "Ellone can wait." Her hold tightened. "For the night."

"She can."

. . .

Laguna made sure not to let the ring on his finger distract Ellone. His left hand constantly stayed in his pocket when she came bounding into the room, but today was going to be the day that the little one-sided game stopped.

Raine, as much as the both of them didn't like it, didn't wear her ring. She worked with her hands too much and it would definitely grab anyone's attention if they were really paying attention. She wasn't sure if showing the town would be the best thing to do before showing Ellone. Laguna figured he would have lost his had he taken it off anyway.

"Elle!" he called as she came downstairs and across the bar, still dressed in her nightshirt. "Who turns five today?"

She grinned up at him as she crawled into his lap. "I do!"

"Who?" Laguna teased as he tickled her sides. Her laugher filled the otherwise empty pub. "Who is _I do_?"

"Me!" She laughed again. "Ellone! Elle! Uncle Laguna! _Stop_!" she giggled. Laguna finally let her go. She curled onto his lap and smiled up at him. "It's my birthday!"

Raine came in from the outside carrying a wrapped box. She set them down on the table. "Elle, you get to pick when you want to open your presents. But you will have to get dressed first."

Ellone leaped out of Laguna's lap. "I'll go get dressed now!"

Raine laughed as they watch the girl make her way up the steps. She took the moment to slip the ring onto her finger and take her place on Laguna's lap. Laguna leaned back into the bar as he wrapped his arms around her. It was then that Laguna also decided that if a 'lady' were to sit in his lap, there was only one thing to do.

"Laguna? Oh! No! _Stop_—" She stopped short when suddenly she was attacked by his fingers to her sides. She screeched and tried to pull away, but he was faster. He could hear her laugher and feel the quick gasps of air that came between the giggles. This lasted for only an instant, when she finally managed to turn her body to the side and cover his mouth with hers.

The kiss would have gotten serious if Laguna wasn't painfully aware of the girl on the bottom steps. "You guys are silly. Kissey-Kissey."

Raine broke away, her face flushed from the sudden tickle attack and got off of his lap. She straightened her shirt out and leaned down to face the girl. "Now?"

"Now!" Ellone jumped down and ran to the table. She climbed into the chair and was soon joined by the adults. She was a patient girl, but Laguna could see the excitement in her eyes.

Raine pulled the present closer, using her right hand, but stopped just before the girl could reach. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Really sure?"

"Auntie _Raine_!"

She laughed and let the girl open her present. Ellone didn't tear greedily, but very gently unwrapped the bow and pulled off the top of the box. Her eyes grew in wonder as Laguna watched her pull out the pink dress. It was full of bows and lace in all the right, appropriate places; and Ellone might not have been the girlest of five year olds but she knew a special dress when she saw one. "It's so prwetty!" she gasped. She held it up to herself and smiled widely. "It's so prwetty," she repeated.

"It's all for you," Laguna said, ruffling her hair.

"Thank you Auntie Raine! Thank you Uncle Laguna!" Ellone hopped off of the chair, the dress high in the air. She ran behind the bar. Laguna couldn't see her, but he could hear a stool scrape against the hard floor and saw her normal blue dress tossed to the side. There were a couple of muffled clothes and mumbles when finally, "Raine can you help me?"

Raine laughed. The girl was trying so hard to be independent. Raine went behind the bar and Laguna could see her bend down and fix a few things. She stepped aside, nodded her approval and came out from behind. After a moment, which to Laguna meant it was for dramatic effect, the young girl emerged from the bar counter.

Laguna laughed. Ellone crossed her arms. "I don't mean to offend! I always laugh, you know that!" He decided to add, "You look just like a lady!"

Ellone smiled, the little gap of another lost tooth ruining the effect of the lady only slightly. She curtsied, a little wobbly, and said, "Thank yoo!"

"You are going to have to keep that dress very clean and tidy, Elle." Raine straightened a few folds automatically as if she did this every time. Laguna admired her motherly nature to her adopted daughter, excited to see the same with their own children someday.

"Why?" Ellone tilted her head.

"Why?" Laguna mocked incredulous very well. He saw a smile snake its way to his soon-to-be wife's face. "_Why_? Well, only the most important date, other than your birthday, will be happening soon!"

"What?" Ellone was getting excited. She came closer to Laguna and he scooped her up into his arms. "What could be _more_ important than my birthday?" Ellone teased.

"Have you ever been in a wedding before, Ellone?" Laguna asked.

She shook her head. Laguna shifted her so she was in his right arm as he held up his left hand. She looked at the silver ring then gasped. "_Who_? You can't _get married_! Not unless it's…!" She gasped again and Laguna almost dropped her as she turned her body to the other lady in the room.

Raine took a moment to thoughtfully put her left finger to her chin. "Who would it be…? Gosh I don't know, Ellone!"

Ellone saw it though; the other silver ring that matched Laguna's. She screamed and clapped her hands together. She was laughing, and bouncing and Laguna had to put her down because she couldn't stop moving. "This is the best birthday _ever_!"

She jumped into Raine's arms and Laguna could see both of his special ladies had tears in their eyes. He suppressed his own with a laugh as he pulled the both of them into a hug. Ellone's birthday wish of having her own little family was going to come true.

. . .

It's been too long. I apologize. I'm in my last year of college, and life just happens. I hope you few readers are liking this story! I have been enjoying it immensely, even though I'm not the most perfect writer. I am actually on chapter twelve of this story and I'm happy that I have not given up hope!

I hope to get all updated soon! I'm going back through and editing. Fun. Times.

Love, La'Ruelia


	9. Chapter Eight: The Cold Winter

**Chapter Eight**: The Cold Winter

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_We're finally getting back on the trail! The outdoors feels nice, not that I didn't mind sleeping in an actual bed. My back is going to miss that greatly._

_Nothing beats camping though. The wilderness! The air! The camp food! I love it all, especially since I was stuck for seventeen years in invincibility. I don't know how I didn't break down…well…I mean break down to the point of killing myself. Not on purpose! I could, or should, have died from lack of food or sleep. I'm definitely the live for the moment kind of man. I digress._

_Galbadia Garden was a nice place. We definitely had some fun. It's back to work, though. I can't believe the trains aren't working. My legs. Poor back. I could use a massage. Traveling should be left to the young people._

_Where did I leave off? Oh. Well. We had some good times, my little family, though it seemed to be short lived. Here I continue my story._

* * *

><p>Laguna felt the cold sticking to his skin as the sun graced the room and into his eyes. Even though the light was coming through the windows, the bitter air still crept in and clung to his bare arms. He moaned before snuggling into the person beside him, though it took him a moment to realize there was another, littler person in between them.<p>

"You're sqwishing me Uncle Laguna!" The little girl seemed unfazed, though, as Laguna sighed and moved in the opposite direction. "You sweep too long."

Laguna rubbed his eyes and peered down at the girl between them. "When did you get here?"

"You don't remember?" Raine had moved around to face her sleepy husband. Her eyes drooped closed. "Last night? Well I guess you were sleeping when she jumped on you," she added.

"Yeah yoo didn't move at all!" Little Ellone smiled up at the groggy man. He rubbed his face with one hand then ruffled the girl's hair. She giggled, and tried to flatten the flyaway strands. It didn't do much.

Laguna yawned and blinked. He could see Raine's eyes rolling back and her eye lids fluttering, but he figured if he couldn't sleep, she shouldn't either. Just when her eyes settled down, he ripped the blankets away. Immediately both girls whined. Laguna laughed. "I've never heard such gripe!"

"Lagunaaaa!" Raine exclaimed, exhaustedly. She curled up into a ball. Laguna laughed at the sound of his wife's voice and the way that Ellone mimicked her curling into a ball.

He clicked his tongue, chiding, "Young and refined ladies, such as yourselves, shouldn't whine! I'm the whiner!" He tugged the blankets away from the women's reach, dragging it onto the floor as he stood up. "Come on! Up and at 'em! You know what they say: The first worm gets the breakfast!"

"I hope you know that is not what they say." Raine stretched and threw her legs over the side of her bed. She reached up and started unbraiding her hair from the night before. Ellone swung her legs over the side, just like Raine, and stretched. She rubbed her eyes.

"You guys are taking forever!" Laguna teased. He started to run in place. "I need to run."

"You should go run." Raine stifled a yawn with her hand. She finally stood up from the bed and Ellone did the same. "When you get back, I'll have something made for breakfast."

"I want cereal!" Ellone jumped off of the bed and raced to the other side of the room. There they had recently built walls between their beds for the added privacy. Privacy Laguna suddenly took advantage of.

"She is awake and on the other side of that wall…" Raine didn't seem to oppose as she smiled into the kiss Laguna was making. "It would be the horror of her life…"

"I know. I can't push the boundaries? Not even a little?" He loved the sound of her laughter. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close instead, and looked into his eyes. He cherished every moment he had with Raine; morning, noon and night. Morning, though, had to be his favorite time. She didn't have any makeup on. When she was asleep she had the cutest pouty expression. When she woke up, her eyes were a little shiny, and her voice a little higher than normal. It was all very natural and, to him, beautiful.

Just as he planted a kiss on her nose, Ellone burst back into the room. "Get a roo-o-om!"

"This is our room!" Laguna reluctantly let Raine go to chase the girl out of the room. "Let your Auntie Raine get dressed! You want to run with me?"

"Yes!"

"Go put a coat on!" He laughed as the little girl ran down the stairs excited to do something different.

He loved this little family.

. . .

"Ahhh!"

Laguna fell onto the bed, one arm flopping over his wife. She was reading a book with the lamp on. It was late and the weather was starting to get very cold. He couldn't believe it had already started to show signs of snow. He snuggled into Raine's side, leaned his head onto her shoulder, and looked down to what she was reading. "Some romance novel?"

"Just something some of the girls suggested. I'm not so sure if I like it." She wrinkled her nose and marked her place. "Too…romancy."

"Only Raine Loire would think a romance novel was _too romancy_." Raine jabbed him with her elbow. He laughed. The room stretched into a comfortable silence.

Laguna stretched. "I can't believe how late it is. It's been so busy around town…I wonder why?" Laguna yawned. "And all of the sudden, monsters! I'm about ready to write to Kiros and ask that he come back and help me. Maybe Ward will finally leave that prison and come along."

"Mmm."

"I wonder if it's going to get worse as winter comes in."

"Mmm."

"Was it like this last winter? No. It wasn't. Not that I can remember…"

Laguna heard his wife's response and looked at her. He knew this wasn't what he would call normal Raine behavior. "What's on your mind—?"

"How many kids do you want?"

Laguna was taken back a little. "Not the question I was expecting."

Raine looked up at him, imploring. "I'm serious. I know you want at least one."

"Are you suggesting we get started?" Laguna leaned over towards her, in an overly seductive way. Raine laughed and pushed his face away before he could make contact. Laguna huffed, pouting a little, and went on. "Why _that_ question? Now? I mean…we've been married…four months? Shouldn't we wait a little?"

"Haha, yes! Definitely." Raine looked over at him. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as if she was planning something. "I just want to know."

"Well…how about eight?" Raine shook her head. "Yeah…more like fifteen?" She nudged him with her elbow again. "Thirty?"

"I'm serious!"

"I don't know," he responded. He leaned back on the pillows a little. "I honest to goodness have never really thought about it. I guess whatever happens, happens."

"Not eight or more right?" Raine asked, turning to click off the light. She snuggled into Laguna.

"Definitely not eight." Laguna smiled mischievously in the dark. "Seven will suffice!"

Raine lightly smacked his arm.

. . .

Laguna wasn't sure what to do in this situation. He had never seen it outright in the time he has spent here. Raine was spending the day helping her friend, the bar was closed, the first snow finally touched down into Winhill, and Ellone had an episode. It was a bad one, he assumed. She was shocked still. It didn't seem like she was moving or even breathing in her spot by the window. Laguna watched her from one of the bar stools as she sat at the window seat, looking out.

It scared her. It scared him a little, too, as he woke up suddenly on the floor of the bar and Ellone screaming and apologizing. He calmed her down as much as he could as she did not want to be touched. So here he was, sitting at the bar while the sad little girl was at the window.

This was his first time _in_ the experience, and he wasn't going to lie, it spooked him. It seemed so real, too real, to be a dream or something Ellone would make up in her mind. It was definitely in the past. He watched as Ellone stared out of the window and wondered if she had seen this all of the time. Did she only have bad experiences to go back to?

He finally thought it was okay to at least sit by her. He made his way around and sat opposite of her on the window seat. She curled her legs in and wouldn't look at him. He could tell she was still crying, though.

"Elle?" Laguna cocked his head, trying to see her face. She brushed away a few tears but still wouldn't look up at him. "Come on, little lady. I'm not angry."

"I'm sowwy!" she cried. Ellone finally made eye contact and his heart hurt for her. She was pale, puffy eyed and looked miserable. The tears made trails down her cheeks and dripped off of her chin. "I'm sowwy!"

"It's not your fault." He held open his arms. Ellone sniffled and climbed onto his lap. "It's not your fault," he repeated.

"I did it." Ellone leaned her head onto his chest. The shirt he was wearing was becoming damp with more, fresh tears. "I didn't mean to…"

"I don't think you can control it just yet, huh?" Laguna rubbed her back. "It's okay. You didn't hurt anyone. I don't think you ever can with that power."

She sniffled again. They sat still and quiet for a little bit, Laguna watching the snow fall outside the window. Finally after a few minutes, Ellone looked up. "That was the night mommy and daddy…"

The gunshots popped into Laguna's mind again. It made his stomach churn. He saw the walls, though this time smeared with blood. He saw the bodies on the floor. The soldiers didn't even bother closing the door; marking the house deserted. Ellone was nowhere in sight. _Could she see it? Did she see it? _He looked down at the girl in his arms. She looked so sad. "I go there sometimes…I never see them…them…die…" Tears were streaming down her face again. "I don't want to. Is that bad?"

Laguna shook his head. "You were so small. You shouldn't have to see anything like that; no one would want you to."

"Why did it happen? Have you ever killed anyone?"

Laguna didn't know how to phrase the answer. Yes, he had killed people. He couldn't lie to her. He brushed away the tears, but she was still looking at him. Expectantly. He sighed. "I wish that never happened to you, Ellone. There are bad people out there; bad people and bad sorceresses. When those bad people work together…good people have to fight back."

"Is that what you did?" Ellone wiped away more tears.

Laguna nodded. "I did it to protect my family, to protect the innocent people and innocent girls that are just like you." He smiled down at her. She gave him a weak one back. He was getting somewhere. "Yes. I did have to take down some of the bad men."

"As long as they were bad." Ellone snuggled up against him. He sighed. At least she still wanted to be near him. Soon, though, he could feel her breathing even out. She had fallen asleep. He carefully lifted her and carried her up the steps.

As he tucked her into her bed, she grabbed onto his shirt. "You won't ever leave will you? You'll protect us?"

Laguna smiled and brushed her hair out of her face. "I won't ever leave. I will protect you as long as we are alive and breathing," he whispered. He kissed her forehead and let her sleep.

. . .

Laguna wrapped his scarf around him closer. The falling snow was already hiding their footsteps behind them as they struggled through the cold. Ahead, and all around, was a sea of white that was almost blinding. The bitter wind stung his face and made his lungs burn.

Ward led the way, his body blocking a little of the snow from blowing into the two traveling behind him. They were making their way, trying to reach something familiar. Although, at this point, they were a little lost—no help from Laguna—and were just trying to find some sort of shelter until the storm passed.

Laguna was starting to feel the numbness creep up into his thighs and he cursed the thought that he was going to be okay without the layers that morning.

They had been moving south from Dollet to reach Timber, trying to follow the trail but they weren't expecting this mid-winter snow storm to appear out of nowhere. There was no point in talking, but every once and awhile he would look over to see how Kiros was fairing. Of course he wore layers that day and seemed to be doing better than Laguna could ever do.

Just as he was feeling like giving up, possibly lying down in the snow and dying, he bumped into a still form and almost fell into the snow. Ward had stopped. He was pointing in the distance. Laguna lifted a gloved hand and tried to see through the snow. He could see a dark outline of a shape— maybe trees? — and patted Ward. This was their signal of "keep moving" and that is what they did.

The trees were so thick together that snow did not reach them in the middle. They could finally talk, or understand Ward's silence, and try to warm up. It was a little easier said than done. With so many trees, trying to make a fire was out of the question with no clearing. "At least we're out of there," Laguna managed to say between chattering teeth.

Kiros took off his bag and pulled out a blanket. The other two did the same and they sat close to each other. They were a good enough distance away from the storm, but it didn't make it any warmer. They watched as the snow fall outside of the little thicket of trees. Kiros blew on his hands and rubbed them together. "Once we reach Timber, what's next?"

"I guess we find out which boat to ride to get us across the sea." Laguna huddled deeper into the blanket and blew on his hands too. They were starting to get feeling back. "I've heard Esthar is right about at the edge of their continent."

Kiros nodded. It almost felt good to Laguna to be back with his companions and roaming the lands. It wasn't for the right reasons, though, which is why he was on edge. He just wished he was back at home with his little family; though, if he could currently call it one, he would. He had left Raine sobbing on their bed for this little adventure to an unknown place.

They just needed to reach Esthar as soon as possible.

He just needed to see his little Elle alive and safe again.


	10. Chapter Nine: Days at Sea

**Chapter Nine:** Days at Sea

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_Ah yes. This is normal, quite the Laguna behavior right here. I've read the map wrong and now we are more or less…lost._

_It is a little desert-y, so I hope we're near where the prison was. Is? Is that place still functional? Well…Ward can't really remember the area…lucky we packed extra water!_

_Kiros has forbid me to read maps or lead us anywhere any longer. Twenty years of getting lost has finally made the little man snap. I haven't heard him get that angry in a while, of course he didn't stay angry but he did says some funny words I've never heard before. Ah, well. We're still friends. Hopefully._

_And now that we rest I will continue on with my little story. As you can see, we always were lost on our journey to find Esthar._

* * *

><p>Laguna scratched his head. <em>This wasn't quite the way we wanted to go, but maybe it would be good anyway?<em> he thought.

"Where are we going?" Kiros asked, crossing his arms. "I don't recognize this area at all. And it's getting warmer."

Ward silently motioned, asking the same. "I'm sorry!" Laguna scratched his head again. "Looks like we're going south instead…"

Kiros sighed. Ward gurgled out a laugh. Laguna had gotten the wrong tickets for the wrong boat. When he had gone up to ask the captain where they were going, expecting better news, he suddenly was very confused. "We have to make a pit stop at an old friend of mine, but then we should be going to Dollet," the captain had said. This ship had already sailed and they were currently on it.

"We're going back to Dollet…" Kiros shook his head. "We're getting nowhere."

"Aw come on! It's kind of an adventure," Laguna tried saying in a cheerful way. "We mind as well see if there are any other boats heading to Fisherman's Horizon in Dollet."

"We'll be weeks behind!" Kiros cried out in frustration. Laguna gave him his most guilty look. His friend, his comrade, glared at him for a few moments. Laguna dropped his head down farther. Kiros sighed. "When we finally get there, _I_ will get the tickets."

Laguna smiled. He said, reassuringly, "I'm sure Ellone is safe. They wouldn't hurt her."

"I know." Kiros stretched then wrapped his coat around him. "At least it's not snowing right now."

Ward looked out on the horizon. He shook his head. "Looks like Ward thinks it'll get even warmer, too."

"How can you tell what he's saying?" Laguna asked, peering at his tall friend. Ward just winked back at him. "You're totally hiding something from me!"

"It's nothing you need to worry about." Kiros laughed at the face Laguna gave him.

. . .

The captain's friend lived isolated on a rocky coast. This land was definitely new and different than what Laguna was used to seeing in his military days. It was a desolated little place, though it looked like the lighthouse still worked. When the boat finally anchored, the three of them decided it would be a good time as any to get out and stretch their legs since they will be back on the boat for another two weeks to Dollet.

They helped the captain unload the items from the boat and carry it over to the main gate. The captain had a key to said gate and after a little bit of shuffling, he managed to open it with a creak. There were pillars that looked like they were about to fall over onto the walkway and the grass had not been cut in years, if ever. They walked through the grass and bricks and Laguna had decided that the place looked a little more than just run down. The sun did give an almost ethereal feel to the stone house as the clouds were partially covered, letting the rays fall through on spots. They walked forward through the walkway and towards the side of the building. Laguna, suddenly, bumped into Ward and almost dropped his things. "You like to stop with no reason…don't…you…?"

They looked over to their left and it looked like miles of flowers. The colors were mixing to a pleasant purple horizon haze that moved with the wind. The bitter cold that was starting to blow through didn't even phase the little plants that softly waved at them. Laguna was struck by the beauty and was reminded of sights he had seen all over the world, though none seemed to compare to this little garden that was before them.

"We have to keep moving," Kiros reminded them. Laguna tore his eyes away and continued up to a side door.

This place looked like it had seen better days. The old stone crumbled away, and looked like it was going to crumble more if they had leaned on it. The captain knocked on the door calling out, "Cid? Hey, Cid!"

They heard back, "Oh, coming!"

A young man, who couldn't be older than Laguna himself, opened the door for the captain and his crew of carriers. He smiled behind his glasses, little lines creasing with his eyes. Laguna thought he saw a little bit of sadness behind the smile, but it was cleared away with his warm laugh.

"Hello Cap'n! Thank you so much! The original supply boat was detoured and we wouldn't have been able to eat for two weeks without you! We would not have survived." The man named Cid pulled open the door and let them in.

There were a few rooms they traveled through before they found themselves at the main living kind of room. There they set down the boxes and crates they carried. Laguna looked around. There were a few couches and a few desks around. On the floor, in a corner, there were a few toys and books on a little shelf.

Then there was a sudden bustle of activity. Several children burst into the room, a few older teenagers too, and the volume suddenly got very loud. "Sorry!" Cid yelled over the noise. Laguna was surprised at the volume a few children could suddenly make. "Ah, sorry! My wife gathered up the kids since it's going to rain soon!"

"Don't worry about it!" The captain was patting a boys' head that had run over to give him a hug. "I haven't seen you in a while!"

The boy laughed. Laguna watched as the kids were suddenly into the toys in the corner and the older ones were lounging on the couches and chairs reading and doing other things. Cid started gathering helpers out of the older ones to move the boxes where they should go. The sight of all of the happy children weighed heavy on his heart, as he thought of little Elle who was possibly scared and alone someplace. He imagined she was cold and lonely, and it didn't sit well with him. He frowned and raised a hand to his chest letting out a soft sigh. He truly wished he was able to find her safe in a place like this, with other children, enjoying her time. He knew that was too unlikely, though, and quit thinking about it.

Laguna watched as the door opened one more time and a woman walked through. She brushed down her skirts that were knocked around in the wind and then looked up surprised to see extra people in the room. She was very thin and pale with long black hair. It very much contrasted with the blond headed toddler she held in her arms. She gave them a warms smile and walked towards them.

"Matron! Matron!" the little ones were yelling behind them. "Come over here!"

"Hold on!" the woman said. "We have visitors; let me talk to them first."

The woman eventually made her way through the running, toys and little bodies to the group in the middle of the room. "Are these the supplies? Thank you so much, Philip." The captain bowed his head briefly, his smile never leaving his face. "I don't know what we would have done without you! To go two weeks would have not been any good." She turned her head to smile at the three companions. "New crew?"

"Actually, they're guests and helped me carry the supplies in. The rest of the crew is on the boat tying it down for the night." The captain nodded towards them as he helped the older children carry things. "Introduce yourselves."

"Ahh hi." Laguna scratched his head. "Um we're…travelers." Kiros laughed, Laguna sent him a glare. "I'm Laguna Loire, and this big man here does not have a voice, so I'll introduce him. His name is Ward."

"Kiros." He kissed the hand the woman offered.

"Oh, quite the customers you have here!" she said with a giggle. "My name is Edea Kramer, though the kids call me Matron." She seemed to glow with the mention of the children and nickname. The girl in her arms stared at Laguna, fascinated with him. "This little one here likes long hair," Edea explained. "She loves wrapping her little hands in it. I usually have to tie mine back when I'm with her," she added with a laugh.

"She's cute!" Laguna leaned down and got close. He was entranced with her wide, sky blue eyes. There was something familiar in the little girl's face, but he couldn't quite place it. "What's her name?"

"Her name is Quistis Trepe."

Laguna shot up straight and looked at the girl again. He looked at her blond hair, little nose, and knew exactly whose little daughter this was. "This is an orphanage?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Edea nodded sadly. "Most of these little ones were left from this war that's going on. Most people just send them over if they can't find any immediate family."

Kiros nudged Laguna. He gave him a look saying that he knew exactly what Laguna was thinking. "Ah. Oh right." Laguna looked sad as he took one more look at the girl who was suddenly holding her hand out. "I believe I knew her mother."

"Really?" Edea looked a little shocked. "Do you know family? Anyone who was close? Sadly we never really received much other than her name…It would be wonderful to find a family for this little girl, most kids never do."

"No we do not." Kiros smiled as the little girl turned her wandering arm towards him. "Her mother was one of our commanders in the military, a few years back."

"Oh, no." Edea let Quistis onto the floor. The little girl wobbled, but then managed to totter herself towards another little toddler on the floor. "These poor children all have a sad backstories about this ridiculous war." Her face saddened even more as her gaze traveled around the children in the room. "I don't know how many more people, and children, will be lost to this disaster. It really breaks my heart."

The small group became silent as the noise around the room continued. Laguna remembered Brigadier General Savannah Trepe; they ended up being very close to her and calling her BeeGee. He could remember her being very strict but caring towards her unit. She made sure that her boys were alright and treated correctly when necessary. He remembered that she did take a leave, towards the end, before their accident, but couldn't imagine why. Now he could imagine, and it left him feeling a little broken. How many more people had to be hurt by this Sorceress War?

There was a crash of thunder and half of the group of children screamed. Edea perked up and started going into the cabinets. "Alright! Let's get ready for this storm everyone!"

The three of them ended up helping Edea and Cid get candles and flashlights ready for the impeding darkness. Ward kept the little kids distracted from the thunder, while Kiros and Laguna lit candles and closed windows. "When the worst of the storm passes you guys and the captain will be safe to get back to the boat," Cid said, coming up from the kitchen. "But you guys can hang out in here in the meantime!"

Laguna was happy that this was a stone house. The wind rattled the wooden blinds that covered the windows and the whole house whistled, but the stones did not waver or move. Laguna couldn't image this was the safest place for a real hurricane, though, and wondered if storms ever got that bad. All of the small children had flashlights and there was plenty of light that was across the room with candles. Even though the skies turned gray and the sun disappeared everyone could still move about the rooms very safely.

After checking that the children were accounted for, Edea made her way into the kitchen to make dinner. Cid and the captain were chatting away, obviously talking about what was going on around the world and how everyone else was doing. Kiros went in to help Edea and Laguna stayed out with Ward who was somehow telling a story to the younger children.

Laguna sat cross legged on the floor. Little Quistis crawled into his lap and they sat and watched the silent story unfold in front of them. Laguna made a mental note to ask Edea if she had heard of, or seen, Ellone pass by this little secluded place. It might even help them in their direction. For now, though, he enjoyed the time he had with the little group of children.

. . .

They picked a bad day to be out on sea.

Not that Laguna remembered most of it. The last thing he could really remember was talking to Edea and her promise to keep an eye out for his little niece.

He awoke stiff and achy but alive. He was soaked through and already frustrated that he had somehow ended up on a beach. Again. He looked over to see the captain and his crew gathering up lost supplies on the beach and his companions stumbling over to get him. Kiros and Ward helped him up and got him walking on his feet. He felt a few bumps, but no broken anything. "Did we really just shipwreck?" Laguna asked through a groan.

"The storm overthrew us. We're lucky to have shipwrecked than to have gotten lost at sea," Kiros replied, letting go of Laguna's arm. He stumbled a little, but caught his balance. Kiros gave him a look over before saying, "Good. We're on scout watch."

"Why us?" Laguna moaned out, rubbing his lower back. "Why not anyone else?"

Ward pat Laguna's back. As much as it hurt, it did seem to help him stand a little straighter. "I guess we are the only ones who have had any training."

"Exactly."

They walked a little bit, but were very soon greeted by a mountain. "There's a trail!" Laguna said excitedly. Kiros shook his head and Ward gurgled mirth. "Let's go scout!"

. . .

A few days later and Laguna realized that scouting may not have been the best thing to do. He woke up on his back again; a cold compress of some sort lay over his forehead. He moved a little, testing his back. That was good, which gave him relief. He couldn't image another six months with injuries. He couldn't afford that time.

He sat up in the little bed that was given to him, he assumed, and looked around his surroundings. Things seemed smaller to him, which he found to be very curious. He moved his arm and realized, with a jolt of pain, that not everything was okay. He sighed.

Nonetheless, the place was quiet and a little dark. A thin ray of light peeked through the cracks in the window blinds and spread out across from him. The doors were round, and he also found that the whole place was a dome shape. Things were indeed very much smaller than him as he saw the little bookshelf, the little chairs, the little table and the rest. He was stumped.

"Where am I?"


	11. Chapter Ten: Finding the Path Again

**Chapter Ten:** Finding the Path Again

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_Well, wouldn't you know it! We are at the Missile Base! Well. It used to be the Missile Base before it was destroyed. It looks like they are making extensions to the railway here and making a sort of Military base from it._

_Even though the threat of a Sorceress is very little at the moment, I guess it's never too safe in the world we live in. The new President of Galbadia seems to be doing his job well, I just hope it doesn't turn into another Deling fiasco. I'm tired of trying to work with crazies like him._

_We are continuing onward in our journey! There is still quite a bit of desert but I believe we will make it! We just have to believe in ourselves! Yes._

_I last left you on a cliffhanger. (Haha, get it? I fell off another cliff!) I met some great people on my little tumble into that village._

* * *

><p>"Laguna!"<p>

"Laguna!"

"Laguna! Laguna!"

"Well if I taught you anything, at least it's my name!" Laguna said with a laugh. The little fiery-red Moombas cheerfully ran around him.

Laguna looked back on the small Shumi village. He'd been here for just a week, but it was definitely an experience he wouldn't forget. Meeting all the different little people, the strange way they talked and their way of living taught Laguna a lot more about the world around him.

He walked towards the Elder's home and paused outside of the door. The elder and his little attendant had a fight the day before, Laguna wasn't quite sure what exactly it was about but he did break up with a bow. He was sure it was okay to go say goodbye to them; he just hoped it wasn't awkward.

He stepped up and knocked on the door and was ushered in right away. The elder sat in his chair looking up, with a thoughtful expression. "Ah, Master Laguna."

"You really don't have to say that. I'm not a 'master' of anything." Laguna scratched his head in just his normal way. He looked around and saw that the attendant was standing next to the Elder, just as always. "Are you guys feeling better?"

"Is Attendant feeling better?" the attendant asked. "I do not believe I was feeling sick, Master Laguna."

"Ah. I mean…well…" Laguna crossed his arms for a second, discerningly. "I mean you guys aren't fighting?"

The Elder looked down at Laguna. "We still have much to talk about, but I guess, yes would be the answer you are looking for. We are feeling 'better', to put into your words." Laguna nodded. The Shumi elder looked at him as the silence filled the room. Laguna stated to feel a little nervous and was going to say something when the Elder spoke again. "In this short time you've been with us, you have shown us kindness that no other visitor has shown to us before. For that I am very grateful, Master Laguna. But we know you must be going."

"Yes. I'm on a mission," he answered.

"To find your little niece," the Shumi Elder finished. "The shumis wish you the very best of luck in your journey, Master Laguna. You are very welcome to come visit us again if you wish."

The attendant stepped forward with a little pack of supplies. "Thank you, Master Laguna! Please do visit!" he said as he handed Laguna the supplies.

Laguna thanked them, bowing deeply. The elder raised one hand. "No need to bow, Master Laguna."

"Well, thank you very much." Laguna smiled and turned to leave. He took one last look at the shumi in the room before giving a wave and leaving the little village behind.

. . .

"There he is!"

Laguna waved down to the two people standing on the beach. Kiros and Ward moved from their spot in the sand to greet him halfway. "We've been searching for you!"

"I figured. Sorry," Laguna said, dropping the heavy bag in the sand. "That tumble from the mountain really knocked me out!"

"You've been missing for a week," Kiros said. "Where did you get those supplies?"

"Long story," he responded. "I'll tell you when we leave…" He looked around the beach. There was no sign of anyone else. "Did the boat leave?"

Ward nodded. "They had to get going, they couldn't wait much longer," Kiros explained. "They did leave us a rescue boat though."

"We have no idea where we are at!" Laguna ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "How are we supposed to find anything?"

"Well you are the master at getting us lost. Perhaps you can be the master of finding us again," Kiros teased.

"Ugh. Please stop calling me master." Laguna rubbed his face. When he looked back at the two of his friends, they were giving him odd looks. "Again, long story. Let's get on this boat."

. . .

Laguna threw his gun on the ground before collapsing next to it. All three were aching after that battle, and what was worse was that they were not even paid for it.

"Lucky us, we got paid before that fight," Kiros said, holding the stitch in his side. "Sorry for you Laguna."

"Whatever!" he whined in return. He didn't even care anymore. That Ruby Dragon took a lot out of them. He just wanted to sleep. "I just need to get out of these clothes." He was still wearing the 'knight' armor from the little scene they filmed.

Ward threw him the backpack. When he felt that his body would respond, he moved up and behind a rock to get changed. He noticed that they were near an ocean and that was probably the best place to walk to. He zipped up his pants and walked back around the rock. "Hey there is a beach down below. Mind as well go down there."

Kiros and Ward agreed and soon they were walking again.

. . .

"Just our luck!"

"It's a raft. A bad one at that."

Laguna stood on top of the raft and jumped. "Seems sturdy to me!"

Ward looked questionable, Kiros matched the expression. Laguna urged his friends over. "Come on! Lady Luck is on our side today!"

"Do you think anyone needs this? Was this abandoned?"

"We were the only ones on the mountains, other than those monsters. I really don't think anyone survived, or at least passed by us." Laguna smiled despite the gloomy response. "Means that this is all ours!"

Kiros shrugged. He motioned to Ward and he walked over to the raft. He stepped on it and the wood groaned a little in response, but didn't crack or move. He looked back toward Kiros and shrugged.

"Awesome! Let's get this out in the water!"

. . .

Luck did seem to like them on this leg of the journey. They had been gone from home for three months now, and it was starting to get very warm. They were surprised to learn that it was late in May when they finally reached some sort of land and town.

Balamb was a quiet little sea town. Being in the middle of the continents they got a lot of soldiers that came through, but were not really bothered in any way. If anything this was a vaction and tour spot, and both nations gained from the little town. The three of them took a few days rest—they actually ate a very good meal and slept for a day and a half—spending most of their money on tickets to Fisherman's Horizon.

They did have a little difficulty getting the tickets, though.

"We need proper identification to give you tickets to FH," the ticket man stated. "Their mayor is very strict on knowing who is coming in and out as they don't want any trouble."

"I think I've lost my ID." Laguna was ruffling through his things. Kiros and Ward had already got their tickets, though they were a little nervous that Laguna would be left behind, or that they would miss the boat. "I honestly can't find it…I promise exist?"

"Sorry, sir. I really can't allow you on a boat without it."

Laguna sighed, stood up and scratched his head, thinking. The movement of him standing up allowed his dog tags to shine in the light. It caught the ticket man's eye. "Oh! Sir, you were in the military?"

"Yes. We all were," Kiros answered for him.

"Well, we have to have update registry on both armies for security reasons. If you will allow me to borrow them, I can look you up."

Laguna thankfully let the man have his tags. He disappeared from the front desk and they were to wait. Laguna tapped his foot, growing impatient as the time got closer and closer for them to leave. Just when he was going to hit the counter and call for the man, the desk worker came back. He looked a little confused. "Laguna Loire?"

"That's me!"

"Are…are you sure…?"

"Yes." Laguna cocked his head to the side. "I promise I existed, right?"

"Well, it just says that you are deceased…I can't validate these."

Laguna cried out in frustration. Kiros stepped up before he could really explode though. "Can he tell you his date of birth, or anything? We promise this is Laguna Loire. There aren't any others out there, believe me. We wouldn't want there to be."

The desk worker shifted a little. "Let me ask my manager."

Five minutes later, and ten minutes until the boat left the harbor, two men came back to the desk.

The desk worked handed the other man the tags. The other man, a big sturdy fellow, suddenly starting laughing. Very loudly. He came around to the other side of the booth.

"Ah! Ward you old dog, you!" There was more laughing. Ward smiled goofily and patted the man on the shoulder. "I can't believe you're all the way in Balamb! What brings you here? OH RIGHT!" More laughing. "You can't speak a word! Hahahaha-haha-ha!"

Ward motioned to Kiros, who seemed to be his voice in these kinds of situations. "We're on our way to Fisherman's Horizon but we can't get a ticket for this person who has lost his ID."

"You must be this guy's friends from the military! He told me all about you!" Laguna wondered if this was a true statement. "Give the man a ticket! Everything checks out as far as I'm concerned."

He handed the tags back to Laguna. The desk worker gave Laguna the ticket, he paid, and they were on their way.

"How do you know that guy?" Laguna asked.

"He was a friend who worked at the prison with Ward," Kiros said for him.

"How do you do that!? I just need to know! What is this secret? Come on, _tell me_!"

Kiros and Ward just shook their heads.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Tears

** Chapter Eleven:** Tears

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_Man is it hot! I've removed as many layers possible without getting a sun burn. Kiros is as cool as ever, but Ward is in the same situation as me. Even though I can't understand him like Kiros can, I can tell he's ready for some cooler weather._

_As soon as we get out of this desert (which, by the way, we should be soon!) it should cool down dramatically._

_We've stopped to rest, though only for just a few moments, but I might be able to scribble down some words!_

* * *

><p>Laguna was tired. It was hot, and getting hotter, as they walked to what was supposed to be Esthar. The railroad, Horizon Bridge, though newer, was abandoned in the war between Esthar and Galbadia, thus they still had to get to this mysterious city on foot.<p>

It was a quiet journey, though. Laguna had Ellone on his mind, and couldn't wait to finally see the little girl again. And, as soon as he got Ellone into safety, they could finally go home to Raine. He missed his wife terribly. He never knew he could miss a person to the point that it felt like his soul was split in two. He could physically feel his spirit plummet at the thought of her. Not being able to write or talk to her on a daily basis really put him on a new level of low. Not being able to touch her and kiss her was dragging him into agony. As it was getting to be his fourth month away from home, he was getting antsy. Just a little longer, Laguna. Everything will be fine. You'll go home. Sleep for two weeks then life will be normal.

He could hope anyway.

They were coming to the end of the tracks. Laguna looked around. Seeing a sign, he read, "_Seaside Station_. Huh. I wonder how much money these people wasted to make this railroad only to abandon it."

"Probably a lot. Let's take a break."

They stopped in front of the ticket booth and sat on its steps. Looking around at this place was eerie, like a ghost town. It was an odd sandy environment and the few buildings around them already looked run down and crumpled with a newer brush of paint over it. Laguna sighed sadly wondering where this amazing Esthar, with its advanced technology, could be. There was no way they would build this dump.

It was getting to be lunch time so they pulled out their packs and ate a quick lunch. Laguna could feel himself getting antsy again. He just wanted to keep moving forward before the mass feeling of dread could consume him and his spirited search for the young girl.

After lunch, and ten minutes later to digest, they had come to a decision to keep moving east. They heard stories that Esthar was a big place, not hard to miss, so they would be able to find it quite easily as long as they continued into the continent from the bridge.

Ward made a face as they were leaving. Laguna cocked his head. "What, big guy? Feeling uneasy?" He nodded. "No worries! We're so close to Ellone, I can just feel it!" Laguna wondered if anyone else noticed the false cheer in his voice.

No one asked, so he didn't tell.

A few hundred feet ahead, and a little climb later, they came up over a hill they had to stop at the sight before them. Just in front of them there were mountains but if they turned to their left they could see very tall blue towers. It wasn't like the normal towers they were used to, but strange, thin, mostly blue but also had other colors, crystal-like glass towers that covered their immediate sight in front of them. "Is that really Esthar?"

"They are the capital in technology," Kiros reminded him. The three of them couldn't take their eyes away from the beautiful structures.

Ward shook his head again. "Don't worry. We can see it, meaning we're almost there!" Laguna said cheerfully, a more truthful cheer this time, he was urging them forward. "Let's get moving!"

. . .

They came upon a lake. Laguna got his camera out and took a picture. It was a very beautiful blue lake that was framed by the city behind it, but they were now lost. They didn't know how to actually get into the city. "How are we going to do this, guys?" Laguna asked, turning to his companions. "Esthar's just around the corner, but that corner is filled with a lake."

"Well. You could always swim across." Kiros laughed at the face Laguna gave him.

"Water and I are not good friends. I seem to always want to die in it. I haven't yet. Where is the stone I should knock on…?"

"Wood?"

"Would what?"

Kiros shook his head. "Nevermind."

They turned to leave the area and to see if there was a mountain path that would allow them access to the grand city. Laguna wondered what was the point of Horizon Bridge if, after they were to get off the train, they couldn't even go anywhere?

As they were turning the corner to go back to the mountain, they suddenly heard footsteps. The three of them quickly jumped back behind a boulder just in time to see two very strangely dressed soldiers come into view. Their uniform was made to look mechanical from head to foot, but Laguna always thought they looked a little comical with bug-like helmets.

The soldiers were silent as they walked by them, their very strange looking swords out and ready. Laguna remembered fighting those soldiers just before he fell to his almost doom on the Centra cliff. He held his own weapon closer as he looked to his friends for plan of action. They couldn't talk, but their military quiet planning came into effect. By quiet planning it meant that they were going to do what they normally did. Jump out and surprise.

Only it didn't work exactly the way they wanted it to.

. . .

Laguna woke up to a Moomba looking over him. Had he not visited the quiet Shumi villiage earlier in his travels, he would not have reacted in the same, calm, fashion. Instead he lifted an arm up and patted the little thing on its head. The Moomba blinked in what could have been surprise, but nuzzled into his hand anyway. "Still here?"

"Did you think if you went to sleep you'd be out?" Laguna looked over to see an older man lounging in a bed. Even after a day of work the man didn't quite trust him yet, or maybe it was just that he was trying to size him up. "You're still in this dark, underground prison."

"Well, hopefully not for long!" Laguna got up and stretched. He could feel some of his bones crack from the way he was laying on the lumpy bed. "I'll be out of here in no time! I bet you'll be out too!"

"Keep dreaming. As long as that crazy doctor has got stuff going on, we'll be in his pit."

"I don't think so. Come on! Have hope! Don't you have dreams? Esthar is such a cool place—well, I've heard anyway—there has got to be opportunities!"

"Opportunities?" the man sighed. "Not with this sorceress as our _Queen_," he said in a very sarcastic manner. "I wouldn't be surprised if we don't see the light of day, what with the Lunatic Pandora fiasco and this awful war that's been goin' on." The man got up too. His old bones cracked and Laguna watched him wince in pain. "There is no way we'll be able to have any opportunity in this day and age, if ever, in grand ol' Esthar."

"Don't be so negative! There is always a way to escape, you just have to look for it!" Laguna crossed his arms and nodded in a matter-of-fact kind of way. "I have some friends who are around here somewhere, and they can handle their own. They are probably looking for a way out too, and so long as we look for a way out then the odds of all of us escaping this prison are greater than not!"

"Are you making any sense?" Despite the question, the man had a smile on his face. Maybe Laguna was warming up to him.

"Sometimes I ramble. Thinking before speaking isn't my best quality, but believe me I won't ever give up!"

The man laughed, but before they could finish speaking the doors unlocked and they were in for another hard day's work.

. . .

Laguna was so close, he couldn't believe it. He could see his little Ellone sitting her head in her hands. He clicked a few buttons, odd sounds escaping the machinery. Suddenly a very large ERROR popped onto the screen. Laguna only paused a moment.

"Um...do you know what you're doing, Laguna?" Kiros asked. Laguna ignored him, only thinking of the little girl that appeared on the screen.

Finally they heard a pop and a moving door sound. He had finally unlocked the door. The little group ran back to the moving chair and rode it down. They ran past the old man Laguna met in the prison and made it to the final door. Laguna wasted no time in getting to the little girl.

"Ellone!"

The little girl jumped at the sound of her name and looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were tear stained. She stood up at the sight of him. She seemed a little shaky but well. "Uncle Laguna!"

"See... I told ya I'd come save you..." He bent down to his knees and pulled the girl into a hug. He rubbed his cheek on the top of her head. Just having her little body in his arms, scared but safe, made his world a very brighter place. "Sorry I'm a little late, but..."

"Yoo're here. That's all that matters." Ellone wrapped her arms around his neck and Laguna lifted her up. She planted her face at the crook of his neck and only hugged him tighter, not letting him go. Laguna squeezed the girl close.

He turned to his two comrades, his friends, and could only smile the biggest smile he could muster. Ward matched it, though Kiros was cautious. "The hardest part hasn't happened just yet."

"I know…we need to get out of here."

"I mean getting out of Esthar. It might be safer to stay here and lay low," Kiros explained. "Let's see what this Adel Resistance team has to offer. Maybe if we help get rid of the sorceress, we buy our ticket back to Galbadia."

"You were always the better man at making plans!" Laguna shifted Ellone to a better position as Kiros led the group outside.

. . .

"Well, we definitely don't want that!" Laguna was horrified at the information the Adel Resistance and the crazy little Doctor Odine was telling them. To think that they could bring about another Lunar Cry to any location and basically kill everyone outside of Esthar made his head swim with anxiety. His mind wandered back to the old woman at the park. Her family was torn apart by the tear in Centra. He thought back to Raine, still helpless back in Winhill, and that she could be killed by monsters before he could even leave this city, and it scared him. He suddenly understood why Adel was feared by the rest of the world. He shook his head. "We've got to help." He could see Ward nod his approval in the corner of his eye.

"Not that we weren't," Kiros added. "They've elected you leader of this little group anyway."

"How can we stop her, then?" one of the resistance members asked.

"Can't we just attack?"

" 'Ave you seen zis woman?" Odine laughed. "No one could ever 'arm zat crazy sorceress."

"Then are you saying she's undefeatable?" Kiros questioned. There was an edge to his voice that Laguna knew meant he was tired of the strange man. The little doctor did get to be crazy and unpredictable at times. "What do you think we should do? We've been stuck in Esthar's prison for two weeks now and we seem to be going in circles with this whole Adel thing, little doctor."

"Do you want to fight? I will fight you!"

Laguna stood up, stepping between the two. Kiros was not going to lift a finger but Odine looked as if he was ready to roll. "Come on guys. I think we're all tired… why don't we take a breather for the night and get some rest?"

Odine huffed but didn't say anything against it. Kiros just shrugged. The little group disbanded for the moment, everyone going separate ways. Laguna walked down the hall and to the little room he shared with Kiros, Ward, and Ellone.

The little girl was currently asleep on the only bed in the room. It had been a rough several months for Ellone, he knew. She told Laguna that they ran a lot of sleeping tests and did other tests when she was awake. They didn't hurt her, and Doctor Odine sometimes was short tempered, but they treated her nicely. She was scared because she often went back, or _connected to—_as Odine liked to call it—her old home in Windhill, locked away in the closet. She could hear the gunshots. Other times she went back to moments of Raine and Laguna, or even farther back into their pasts. She felt happier then, and hopeful that all of the tests would end. The only days she felt like she couldn't breathe were the days Adel came down to visit and see how she was doing. The woman frightened her a lot.

She was so very excited that her Uncle Laguna had finally come to her rescue, though. He was glad, too, and couldn't wait to see Raine's smiling face as they made their way back to Winhill.

Unfortunately the thought of losing Raine to this war now haunted his mind, tearing him up on the inside. He couldn't let that happen, and resolved right then and there that he had to get rid of this Sorceress.

He tucked Ellone in and kissed her forehead. He lay down on the floor and watched as Ward and Kiros seemed to have a conversation from the hallway. He shook his head in wonder and listened to the obvious one sided conversation as his eyes slowly drifted closed.

. . .

Laguna was falling. He could see the red sky above him, the moon big and doom-like in the sky, and he could feel that free-fall feeling that he was ever so used to. Eventually he saw what was below him, and almost screamed. Water was coming up fast, and he was sure he was going to die as the cold surrounded him. He didn't feel any pain as he slammed into it. Instead, as he twisted around, he saw Raine. She looked very sad next to him, mouthing words that only came out as bubbles.

Laguna reached out, but suddenly arms that came out of the murk started pulling on Raine's sweater. He watched as the arms tugged at her hair and clawed at her legs. Monsters of the deep dragging her down. He was scared as he tried, though failed, at getting closer to her. He moved his arms and tried pushing faster through the water with his legs, but he was always just an arm's length away. The monsters of the sea were pulling her down.

He could tell she was saying his name. Through the bubbles he was screaming hers back. Just as he thought he could reach out and touch her, something grabbed his arm and started pulling him away.

It dragged Laguna back up to the surface of this weird ocean and forced him to look up. Laguna could see the red sky again. Waves were crashing into him, but suddenly he couldn't feel them anymore. Even when the water crashed over him, it was like he wasn't even floating there.

He concentrated on the sky and the moon. There was something wrong with it. The surface was writhing and waving. There was red, but in the middle was blue. He realized what was happening as the blue pushed its way out of the red, like a tear drop. The waves were going crazy now as the tear hit the water. Monsters were falling from the moon to the ocean.

Laguna watched as the monsters hit the surface. One monster, veering off course was just about to hit him, when he gasped awake.

It hit him moments later. He knew how to get rid of the Adel.

* * *

><p>Hello everyone!<p>

Just as a note, I am almost done with this story. On my computer anyway. I'm too excited about it! (It's just me though, I think. I'm happy to finally be getting this done!)  
>Have a great day and night!<p>

Love, La'Ruelia


	13. Chapter Twelve: President Loire

**Chapter Twelve:** President Loire

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_Well, hello Galbadia Garden… We meet again. So. Soon. At least we can be pointed into the right direction. We took a little bit of a rest, but we did get to see a friend! Irvine Kinneas has been resting and getting things back in order here at this Garden. Without a leader, and without an evil sorceress, this military school needs some direction. He was with Balamb up until a week ago, which is why we did not see him at the roaring party they threw for us._

_Irvine remembered the place that we were going to go visit, as he also visited with his own journey, and politely told me where I went wrong. Oh, ha-ha. Wrong left turn I suppose. I was never good with my lefts and rights.  
><em>

_Anyway, we go on with the story! I get some stunning news in this one._

* * *

><p>It was a miracle it all worked out, and at times in the past two weeks he couldn't believe that this was actually happening. Yet, there he was, watching the monster sorceress get sent up into the sky by three of the most brilliant pieces of technology he had ever seen. The "airships"—the very idea that ships could fly in the air sounded completely absurd to Laguna—was headed by the largest "ship" he had ever seen. It was red, shiny, dragonlike, and beautiful in a strange way. It did look like a dragon, particularly like the Ruby one they fought just a few months ago, and it moved very gracefully like one. He watched them through the window as they disappeared into the atmosphere. "One day I will ride the Ragnarok."<p>

"Not now."

"Of course."

Kiros chuckled and stretched. "I'm ready to leave this little place. Explore Esthar."

"I just need to get home!" Laguna watched the airships until he couldn't see them anymore. It was mid-July. They left Winhill in January. He was ready to get back home to his little, tiny town when some of the people didn't even like him. He had his life's worth exploring, he could tick it off of his bucket list, and now it was time to start a real life at home with his family. "I've never asked, Kiros," Laguna said, turning to his friend. "Where is home for you?"

Kiros shrugged. "Wherever the path takes me, I guess."

"So sage. And totally confusing." Laguna laughed.

They moved away from the window and headed for the front door of this odd little building. It had been constructed in days, fortunately with the Adel's permission, as a new science facility under Doctor Odine. If only she had known it would be her downfall. Just as they were leaving the rightly named Sealing Facility, they heard cheers and talking. Giving each other odd looks; they decided to open the doors.

In front of them, and down the steps, were hundreds of people. When they saw the two friends, there erupted cheers. Laguna scratched his head, feeling a sudden fit of embarrassment mixed with surprise. Kiros couldn't help but to smile, and crossed his arms. "I'm sure you've noticed, but they are cheering for you."

"No…really?" Laguna couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. He stepped down a few steps, waving slowly to the roaring crowd.

The strange doctor and the man who brought Laguna into the Adel Resistance stepped toward them. "Ah, Laguna!" the man said, shaking his hand. "You're our hero!"

"Ah. I mean. I didn't do much…"

"Ze idea was clumsy, and it was I who made ze technology behind it, but I will give you some of ze credit," the doctor admitted. "It was a good idea."

Laguna could feel his cheeks go red. He was going to have a sore where he kept on scratching his scalp. "No really…guys. It's no problem."

The crowd cheered again, some laughing at his modesty. "You truly are a hero!" the man said with a laugh. "And I think it's been decided." Laguna gave the man a puzzled look. He clapped Laguna on the shoulder. "Well, hero, you're the new President of Esthar!"

"What?"

. . .

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Laguna shoved a pillow on his head. Ward was already asleep, even though it was only three in the afternoon. The two of them felt as tired as the big guy, but Laguna couldn't quite fall asleep with this new news buzzing around him. The people practically begged him to stay in their city. It looked like the war was over, but the place was still in fear of Galbadia. True, they were at a disadvantage without a leader, but Laguna was sure as possible the right choice could be made elsewhere. He was an ex-Galbadian soldier, sadly, and knew nothing of leading a country, much less _this_ country. The notion of it was way over his currently throbbing head.

Kiros leaned against the wall looking at Laguna, the apparent new leader of this blue city. He pulled the pillow off of his face and sent his taller friend a sour look. "They seriously should have consulted me about this! I've already sent Ellone home! I told her I would be right behind her—no later than a week or two! I can't just…give up life and never go home. I have a wife to go back to. I have a wife. _I have a wife_. Oooh, Raine!" He rubbed his eyes.

Kiros sighed. "Why don't you bring them here?"

Laguna frowned. Raine wasn't the type to travel far. Asking her to move from the quiet little town of Winhill? She'd been there all her life! He didn't think she'd want to move to this place, a very distracting and almost cold place. Would she be able to adjust? The differences between this big city and little town were too big and far between. There were no flowers here. There was too much light to see the night sky full of stars. They used cars to get around the city, not to mention the other weirder forms of transportation. Could she really adjust to this kind of life?

Though, now that the Sorceress was out of the way, Ellone should be safe from anyone. Odine had a fit when, not even a few minutes after they actually tricked Adel and froze her in place, Laguna ordered people to safely take her away, back to their home. Odine still wanted to study Ellone for an invention he said would change the world. Should he bring her back? Odine would just have his way. Laguna grew angry. Not if he had _his_ way. He was president, right? He could just tell Odine that there was not any point to try and even talk to the girl. Would it work though? Ellone was so young. He groaned.

He couldn't imagine making Raine come all this way though, and that was the whole point. Laguna sighed. "I don't know if it's that easy, Kiros."

"That's definitely understandable." Before they could say anything else there was a knock on the door. Laguna sat up and Kiros opened the door.

"Sir, the Committee would like to speak with you, please." It was a soldier, and Laguna found it disturbing to see the mask like helmet off of the man. He looked unnatural, like a human head attached to a praying mantis body.

Kiros gave Laguna a look, nudging his head towards the man at the door. Laguna sighed and got up. "I suppose I will listen to what he has to say."

. . .

Esthar itself was a wonder. The walkways were a see through, translucent, colored glass and it covered miles every which way they looked. The place was very clean, not a spot of dust anywhere. Laguna supposed that someone or something came out and cleaned every day. He wondered, though, if they really needed cleaning that much since people didn't really walk around anyway. The seats that they rode on, a shuttle service he was informed, took a person or a group of people to where ever they really wanted to go. The city was also very much safe, for the moment, from any real harm.

Laguna got off the little hovering seat and his little soldier guide told him that this was the Presidential Residence. It was a huge building, though very flat. Laguna guessed it was only one story. They walked through the doors to another little seat. This one, though, was different in that they didn't move through a tube. Instead it took them sideways then up, with a little protective bubble around them. Laguna couldn't describe the technology they passed as the seat slowly came to a stop. They walked down a nice neat hallway, passed the guard that was in front of the president's room, and to the door at the end of the hall. The soldier saluted. "There is a meeting going on…and…well…I guess I'll just leave you here to it, sir."

Laguna could tell there was quite the meeting going on, a heated one at that. The guard bowed, which Laguna told him was rather unnecessary, and left him on his own. He sighed and pushed the doors open.

The noise level was high, but as soon as he stepped in there was silence. There were many different kinds of men and women in this room, though they all dressed in the weird garb that everyone else wore in Esthar. He couldn't imagine himself dressing in that manner, nor did he think that ever get used to seeing other people wearing the strange clothes. The people around him did look official. He could only guess that this had to be the city's committee of some sort. "President Laguna," they murmured. Well, most of the people did.

It looked like some were still aligned with the sorceress on the moon.

"Um. Yeah. This '_president_' thing is nice, but let's not push it. I mean…I haven't given you the straightest of answers," Laguna said. He could feel the stares and one particular glare given to him. He coughed to clear his throat. "So…what's going on?"

"Sir, we need to figure out a way to keep Galbadia at bay and out of the city," the man, who was glaring at him, said. This had to be the _Commander_. His dress was riddled with medals and he had next to him a very fancy helmet, though not unlike the other Esthar bug soldiers. Laguna looked at him. He went on. "The Sorceress Adel knew what she was talking about. If we were to lose this war, which this _is_ like losing or giving up now that she _is_ gone, their soldiers will come in and take us over! Without our leader, or the Lunar Cry, we stand no chance in defending our city!"

That struck a nerve with Laguna. He first imagined Raine and then the monsters failing from the sky. It was his nightmare all over again. "First of all, that Lunatic Pandora junk cannot stay around!" Laguna crossed his arms. "That is one thing that ugly sorceress had wrong." He could tell he struck a nerve with the Commander by the way the soldier twitched at the name calling. Other people also shifted as if Adel was going to stride back in and kill them all for just being in Laguna's presence. "There has to be another way to keep them from us."

"President Deling of Galbadia is not someone to waste time with. He is planning an attack. Word will be out that the Sorceress is no longer the leader. The Lunar Cry would have been our best option if it hadn't sunk to the bottom of the ocean!" The Commander crossed his arms. "Why wait in fear when we can take them all out right now?"

"You can't be serious, Commander!" one of the other members of this odd committee yelled. She was very much against the idea, but probably didn't speak up when the Sorceress was leading the country. "This Sorceress you hold in such high regard wanted to kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people! They might not have been from Esthar, but they are still souls." There was a buzz of agreement mixed in with uncertainty.

Laguna raised his hand and was surprised that the noise stopped. He cleared his throat again. "I know President Deling. I was a soldier for Galbadia." There were a few shocked faces. Laguna scratched his head, maybe that information wasn't the best thing to offer at the moment. "Don't get me wrong, I didn't like the idea of fighting it out and harming people. That was one of a few reasons why I left; but viewing it on their side as a Galbadian soldier is a little different. We thought, at any moment, the sorceress was going to attack us—"

"That was only because you were going to attack first!"

Laguna could feel a headache creep on. This man needed to be controlled. His voice rose a little out of authority, as if he was back into the military again, "Listen. I'm under the impression here, tell me if I'm wrong, that Adel was pretty much a dictator. Ruthless, even to her own people?" There was a general consensus of nods and murmurs. "Well, on Galbadia's side, we knew she was going to kill _everyone_. Not just soldiers but innocent lives to take over Galbadia. You have to take into consideration of my back story and just try to put yourselves into our pants." He could see the momentary confused faces. _Wrong metaphor?_ he thought, but went on anyway. "They told us that she was going to kill everyone so we had to come after you guys to save our nation and its people. If we didn't attack first, and strong, we would all be gone. That's all they, the President, told us."

"Yes, well. That may have been her plan, but now that she's gone, what's keeping Deling from killing us?"

"Nothing." Laguna looked around at the faces. "I'm just telling you the truth. In fact, Deling is probably telling them that Esthar is no longer a threat since we no don't have a leader. He's probably giving a speech right now, rallying the people to come and kill us and take what they will. Wouldn't you want to control something before it controlled you? Think if things were reversed and Galbadia just got rid of a sorceress. Wouldn't Esthar want to take over Galbadia before a new leader arose? It's like watching your own back." Laguna felt like he was talking in circles. The people in the room were expectantly looking at him. "We need some sort of defense."

"What are we going to do then?" the Commander barked back.

"Haven't you been listening?"

"Ah, Odine! Didn't see you there." Laguna threw up his hands, and added, "sorry."

The doctor humphed and stood up next to Laguna. The stark difference in height would have made Laguna laugh in any other situation, but he stayed mute. "Because of moi, Esthar iz ze greatest city in ze world. We 'ave ze best technology in ze world—"

"And that," interrupted the Commander, "is exactly why we can't allow Galbadia to take over. If you think killing people was bad, wait until Deling is king of the world with this technology this city has created. We will be made into _slaves_!"

There was an eruption of yelling, Doctor Odine in the midst screaming he wasn't finished yet. Laguna could feel a migraine coming on. Fortunately, that kicked in his leadership abilities, if he wanted to even call them that.

"GUYS." Laguna stepped forward. There was a hush and cease of noise. "Arguing is what will lead us into the enemies clutches! We will go to the cheetah's lair and be left to die there of starvation!" Other than the predictably confused faces of almost everyone in the room, he thought he got the point across with his metaphor. "We need ideas. We do not need fighting amongst ourselves. Let's make a list of things that we could try to protect this country."

. . .

Three weeks later and it was already several days into August. Laguna, Kiros and Ward all moved whatever small amount of clothing and items they owned into the Presidential Residence. Laguna was currently sitting at his, now personal, table in his master room, his companions next to him. "I've really outdone myself this time," he sighed.

"Well, now that you've officially been announced as the new President of Esthar, I don't think you really can get out of it," Kiros said, albeit with a little humor. He laughed at the face Laguna sent him.

"What am I going to tell Raine? 'Oh I saved our niece, but I've become president! Isn't that just awesome?'" Laguna groaned into his hands.

Ward did some motions with his arms. Kiros nodded. "Ward has a good idea. Just write her a letter. Send it with some normally dressed soldiers, just not in the soldiers' uniform or this odd garb here. Don't want her to freak out or have them be stopped along the way, and see what happens. She'll either divorce you or they'll be here within the month. Ellone has probably filled Raine in on whatever she could remember or talk about."

"You got _all that_?"

"And more. That's the dumbed down version. I'm sure your brain can't handle it right now." Kiros smiled. "By then the OCS should be done, according to Odine, and we'll just have to meet them at Horizon Bridge."

The OCS: Optical Camouflage System. It was what they were going to use to keep Esthar safe. Odine, the crazy, crazy doctor had been working on camouflaging devices in his past time, and thinks, in just a matter of days, he could have the whole city cloaked and invisible. Esthar would disappear off of the map. Laguna thought it implausible that it could be done in such short notice, but they couldn't figure out any other way of keeping the people safe. The doctor was a genius in some respects, so Laguna had no choice but to trust him. There was a lot of mechanics behind it, like how were they to live and survive and trade and get resources and everything into Esthar, but he was already working with other Committee members on it. He couldn't believe what he got himself dragged into. The only way he'd see his family would be to have them come to him. He hoped Raine would understand.

"I don't really know how Odine can create something so fast. He's truly…something else." Laguna rubbed his tired eyes. The plan was as good as ever though. "I'll get started on the letter."


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Security

**Chapter Thirteen:** Security

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_No more desert makes for a happy team. We are out of that desert and in normal grass and normal skies and normal everything. I'm so very happy to be out of there! With Irvine's help we are going to be a-okay!_

_We are heading down to Timber. I'm going to see if I can submit some of this journal or at least get to know the process so that when this trip is over I can have something else to do! Well…with Esthar back on the map I might have some explaining to do to the people of the world, but with the radio and wireless connections back up I can do that on TV! Exciting, exciting._

_Any way. That was more of my ramblings. Here we go onward!_

* * *

><p>The soldiers carrying the letters left three weeks ago, and Laguna had not heard anything back from them or his family. His mind was occupied during the day, but at night he found himself wishing his bed had a little more warmth in it. He missed Raine to the point that he thought he felt physical pain. A stabbing of the heart, if he was being dramatic enough. He sighed into the empty room. Eyes wide and fully awake. He could already see the sky brightening. <em>Mind as well get up. It's a big day anyway, <em>he thought to himself.

The OCS was finally done.

. . .

"Come on guys! It's supposed to be the coolest thing!" Laguna was walking briskly towards the little seat that will take them to the outskirts of town. He was trying to keep himself going or he'd collapse from exhaustion, or the heat. It was getting to be a hot, early September. "Odine has been working day and night on this!"

"Calm down. People are looking at you weird," Kiros said as he and Ward sat down on the little platform that will take them to their destination. Ward smiled and waved at the mother and son walking quickly by.

Laguna rubbed his tired eyes and looked at the few people around them. He wasn't sure if they were looking at him because of his behavior, or the fact that he was their new leader currently wearing sweatpants out in public. He shrugged his shoulders and sat gracelessly on the little chair. The normal colors swirled around them as the chair was lifted off of the ground. "They'll just have to get used to it!"

The ride over was silent. They wouldn't hear much of each other anyway from the whirring and swooshing noises of their ride. Laguna watched as the city of Esthar scrolled past. The red glass marred the image and he found it amusing that the buildings were stained purple. He rubbed his face and wondered when he was going to get more sleep in his life.

The little seat gently set them down in the familiar city opening ten minutes later. Laguna stretched as he walked towards the funny little man waiting for them. "You're late!"

"I know, sorry! Sorry!" Laguna said, yawning into his hand. People around him were bowing deeply and Laguna couldn't stand it. He wondered if he could make a law against bowing to the president. "Let's get this started!"

They walked out of Esthar, which wasn't something Laguna was used to, and into a car. They had to drive around to a different location to gain access to the city again after the OCS did its thing. The front gate would no longer be there if they were to return in the car. It was a bumpy ride around to where they were going, and the whole way there Odine was giving them all the technical details.

Laguna couldn't keep his eyes open.

"Are you listening to moi?" He could hear the irritation in the mad scientist's voice. "Falling asleep iz no way to treat zis genius."

"I'm sorry. Sorry." Laguna yawned. He took his hands and slapped his cheeks. "I'm not getting much sleep…"

"Anything he just said, you'll just see with your own eyes." Kiros waved a hand, a little dismissively, but luckily before the doctor could react to the gesture, the car was slowing down.

Laguna found himself on the Esthar side of the beautiful lake he stumbled upon, what felt like years and years ago but was only a few weeks ago. So much had changed from the last time he saw it. He stared at its sapphire like depths a little longer before his concentration was dragged over to the city. Laguna saw the blue towers and glass and just wondered how they could disappear off of the map.

Doctor Odine pulled out a screen that looked to be something he could touch and activate. Laguna leaned over to see what he was doing, but immediately couldn't figure it out and stopped trying. There were a few minutes of silence and finally Odine spoke up.

"Okay. So zis iz the OCS. What iz going to 'appen iz ze camouflage system will mask ze city. Zat's ze dumbed down version for you, since you can't listen to moi." He didn't look up from his clicking. And when he did, he had one finger hovered over something on the screen. "Are you ready?"

Laguna nodded, feeling a little excited. He, Kiros, and Ward watched as the little man touched the screen one more time.

At first nothing changed. But then there was a shimmer. Laguna watched; jerking his head up, as thousands of little dots started to flicker across the city. He strained his neck trying to catch all of the flashes and streaks that went across the sky. Soon all of the flashes were disappearing leaving the open blue sky, but the city disappeared with it. It slowly rounded out the buildings and Laguna watched as the outlines of skyscrapers and the glass walkways melted into the blue sky and mountains behind them. In just a few minutes the city had disappeared.

"Wow," Laguna breathed. "That just happened."

Kiros and Ward rubbed their eyes, and had Laguna been less sleepy and less charged up with excitement he would have laughed. Doctor Odine, with the smuggest of smiles, began to walk towards the city. "Any outsiders will not be able to tell zat zere iz anything zere. Only when you are inches away from ze city will you ever see any type of outline. By then my robots will have you killed or captured, depending zere mood." Laguna gave him a look. "I know you want to talk about zis, although to moi it doesn't make any sense why you wouldn't want robotic soldiers. Saves lives…"

Laguna watched as a bird sailed right through, and disappeared behind the OCS. He figured that wouldn't be too much of a problem as people weren't getting this close anyway to see the bird fade away like that. He glanced around. "Is there another way in?"

"Of course zere iz another way in! Doctor Odine thinks of everything!" The little doctor moved closer to the city. He felt along the wall. Wherever he touched a little hexagonal zap of the city could be seen, but it was quickly covered up. "Still working on zat bug. Should be gone soon." He found what he was looking for, with a little "aha!" and tapped on the wall. Steps, like a ladder, materialized and Laguna watched as the doctor started to climb up. The three of them followed suit and saw that they were on an invisible platform. As they kept on walking, though, the floor and walls materialized and Laguna felt safer.

They found themselves in a very mechanical looking place, and the doctor kept on walking. Laguna could only just look around wondering where this place would lead them. They came upon a door, finally, and walked through. There they were standing at a dead end. The doctor made sure the three of them were safely on before staring up into the darkness. Laguna was going to ask just what he was staring at, when the door behind them closed and the floor jerked. He found himself surprised and on the ground, but Ward graciously lifted him back up. They started moving slowly to the right and after a few minutes, they were jerked up. Laguna kept his balance this time.

When it finally stopped, and the doctor stepped forward, another door seemed to melt out of the dark wall in front of them. Trusting Doctor Odine, they walked off of the platform, down the hallway towards the burning light, and in front of them was Esthar.

"And no one could see it from outside?" Kiros asked. Laguna was too busy taking in the sight from far above to ask anything.

The doctor shook his head. "No one. We are safe."

The platform in front of them moved, though this time a lot smoother, and Laguna watched as they descended downwards towards the blue city. They moved fast, but somehow they weren't going to fall off. There wasn't any wind to knock them over either. Eventually they glided into a spot in-between all of the mechanical things Laguna couldn't describe, where a car awaited them. The driver opened the doors for them. "Mr. President, Doctor," he greeted, with the tilt of his head.

"We are on ze outskirts of ze city. Driving will be the only way to get back to the Presidential Residence, unless you want to walk for hours."

Laguna accepted the car invitation. He couldn't force himself to walk for that long.

. . .

"The radios have been down since we shot her in space…Doctor Odine is trying to figure out if there is anything we can do about it. We also don't know how it's affecting people in other countries, if it is."

"I'm sure he'll figure out something," Laguna said to the assistant in front of him. He was looking over the plans for what was going to be the Lunar Base; something he supposed was going to keep Adel in her place on the moon.

"It's not slowing down construction, luckily," the assistant continued. "The base should be done in a months' time along with the Lunar Gate. That's what's going to send people up to the base since we don't have too many airships to keep going back in forth."

Laguna looked over the dozens of blueprints and notes that were spread across the table. All of the scribbles and sketches made his head hurt and he finally looked up to the assistant. He scratched his head. "I'm no good at all of this stuff, but from what I can see in the making of it, it looks fine to me!"

The woman nodded, and then looked thoughtful. She bit her lip a little, and Laguna could tell she wanted to say something. He tilted his head and encouraged her. "Did you have any suggestions? About this…or me?"

She seemed suddenly shy. She bowed her head down and tipped it back up. "Well, sir, I know you are our hero and everything. I know you're very strong, but perhaps you should get some assistants? Advisors maybe? People you know you can trust to help with these decisions." She frowned a little. "Sometimes I talk a lot, I apologize if I've offended."

"No! No! That's a great idea!" Laguna hit his palm with his fist. "It makes a lot of sense for me to have people! I don't want to spread myself too thin…"

Laguna thanked the assistant, bowing to her and making her very flustered. "No, no, no don't bow to me!" He left and went into the main front room of Odine's laboratory. There he found Kiros talking to another person.

"It looks like they've figured out how to keep Adel sealed until we get the base going," he said, bringing Laguna into the conversation. "I'm not exactly sure what these scientists are going on about, but I think they're good."

Laguna smiled at the man. "That's wonderful! Anything else to report?" The man shook his head. Laguna held out his hand, and the man took it hesitantly. "Great! I'm sure you've got things to do, but keep us updated!"

"You're sounding spirited," Kiros commented as the scientist made his way back to what he was doing. "You have something on your mind?"

"I think I need assistants." Laguna crossed his arms in a thoughtful way. "People that know exactly what these people are saying, because I've been hearing things but they just don't make any sense to me."

"Understandable." Kiros lead Laguna away from the building and onto the glassy walkways. Laguna wished he were back inside as the humidity attacked him again. How did people live in such a hot place? "Are you going to hold a committee meeting?"

"Yeah!" Laguna hit his palm again. "I didn't think of that!"

"I think you need more sleep." They were sitting on the little seat that was going to take them to the Presidential Residence.

Laguna agreed.

. . .

They gathered his committee and sat waiting for him to start. Laguna rubbed his eyes and tried not to sway on his feet as he stood up in front of the little crowd.

"Well. I've gathered you here today because I need some assistance. Actually, I need some assistants." He paused and looked at the faces. "I'm the President, I get it, but I was not born here. I am no good with the mechanics of Esthar or machines or anything like that. I'm not used to making trades and figuring out all of this economic stuff." He paused again and he could see some people nodding their heads. "I'd like to see if I could appoint some people to be my assistants. Any suggestions?"

There was a sudden buzz of conversation and names being thrown about. Laguna sighed and held up his hands. The talking stopped. "Okay. Well first I guess we need to figure out what I need help with."

"Battle strategy."

Laguna made it his life goal to get along with this Commander. So far they've been off and on friendly, and Laguna was hoping that now the OCS worked, the soldier would calm down and finally work with him. He smiled and pointed. "Yes. Doctor Odine also has this grand idea of creating robotic soldiers. You can definitely do that job! Please keep that crazy little doctor in check."

That seemed to make him happy. Now the Commander had a goal other than making Laguna slightly miserable. "Okay. I don't know anything about this engineering thing. I looked at blueprints today and just couldn't understand anything. Does anyone in here know anything about that…?"

Twenty five minutes later, Laguna had a team of people and appointed Kiros and Ward to be his personal advisors. Kiros was to be in charge of keeping Laguna sane and in check and Ward was mostly there to keep an eye out on him and the people, and lend a hand in the constructions of the new buildings being made.

And with the feeling of being accomplished, and ready, Laguna hoped to see his beautiful wife soon.

. . .

Laguna received the news a week later. He quietly excused himself and went to his room.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: The Hurt Inside

**Chapter Fourteen:** The Hurt Inside

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_I'm sorry. It was kind of cut of, huh? Well, this one is a little short too. I needed some sleep in Timber and now that I'm awake and no one else is, I'll write some more!_

_This was a dark period in my life. It actually took me a long time to get over it. I guess that's normal, right?_

* * *

><p>Laguna wondered if true sadness was really this dry. These intense, dark feelings that have captured and tortured him should be cold and wet, he thought. Instead his eyes itched, and no tears threatened to fall. He pulled the cover over his head as he noticed another sunrise make its way to his windows.<p>

It was day three being holed up in his room. He wasn't over it.

His eye lids drooped but he fought it. If he went to sleep now, dreams would just haunt him. He didn't know how long he could fight sleep, though. The days drew out and in those many hours he had only slept just once. It was not a good sleep. It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep but his mind buzzed and his heart beat fast. He found it hard to breathe sometimes, well most of the time. His memories threw images at him that would tear him apart emotionally, and make his chest heave physically.

With the darkness of the blanket his eyes finally fell. He felt his whole body slow down and his breathing become even. Maybe sleeping wasn't the hard part. It would stop him from remembering all of his memories of her. Of them.

. . .

He woke up two hours later, unable to breathe. The nightmare felt so far away but the emotion was hitting him hard. He felt his lungs constrict and his throat close up with it. He wanted to claw at it but only managed to throw off his covers and sit up. He moaned into the morning when he finally caught a breath. He fumbled in the sheets for a moment, and his legs finally shot out in front of him and ran into the bathroom.

"She's gone. She's gone," he found himself crying out. Laguna wondered if that was really his voice, raspy from being unused, as he looked into the mirror. He rubbed his cheeks, the stubble pricking his palms. He hadn't shaved since finding out the news, and the hair felt unnatural underneath his palms. Dark rings surrounded his eyes and no amount of rubbing would take it away.

Raine was gone. Dead. His wife wasn't alive. He gripped the sides of the sink as the realization hit him in waves. Dry heaves left his body and he was failing at keeping the sobs in check. He never imagined this situation would actually come to happen. He thought about it, but in his heart he always imagined he would be there to save her. People died every day, he knew that from experience, but he thought life in Winhill was going to be perfect. He would live with his family and be happy, purely happy for the first time in his life. Instead Ellone was shipped off to some place and his wife died. Possibly alone.

His arms shook from the strain of gripping the sides of the sink and the thoughts that whirled around his mind. He was taking deep breaths, hoping the contents of his stomach, or lack thereof, would hold down. His knees buckled beneath him. He felt himself fall onto the floor and his eyes found the ceiling. He could feel the tears now, and they clouded his vision. Every time he would blink he would send a few wet tears down the sides of his face. With one hand he covered his mouth, and with the other he closed the bathroom door. No need for Kiros to pop in to check on him, or for Ward to hear his pitiful cries.

Laguna wanted to drown. He wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded. He remembered Raine and Ellone. All of the memories of Raine came back to him. She took care of him after he fell off that cliff. It seemed like ages ago. And Ellone, he just found her. If only he went back. He turned his head and let more tears roll out of his eyes. He felt the noise and pressure in his chest, his voice muted from the sudden grief that churned inside. A weight was on him that he couldn't get off. It was suffocating. Maybe he _would_ drown.

He didn't know how long he was holding his breath, but when he thought about the last day with her, he found himself gasping.

His little family was really gone.

. . .

He didn't touch the tray of food that was brought in. All he could wonder was what if. What if he had gone home with Ellone? What if he had gotten there when she did? Would Raine be alive? What sickness caught her? What if…?

He held his head in his hands. The questions felt like a plague. His head hurt and throbbed. His chest ached and he felt so very, very weak from it.

. . .

Kiros visited a few times and only tried once to get Laguna to come out of bed. Laguna didn't take very much notice, though. As Kiros was reporting and trying to convince the President to get out of bed, Laguna stared out past his friend's face. He vaguely remembered the gentle hand on his exposed shoulder, the unusually kind and un-sarcastic words and the door shutting quietly a moment later. Laguna curled into the sheets and closed his eyes.

. . .

Raine was there, smiling at him. She laughed; the only true noise to not blur in Laguna's ears. He tried to touch her, but she was always out of arms reach. "Come closer, silly!" she said, laughing again.

Laguna tried to open his mouth, but it was as if he was underwater. Bubbles burst forth. Brow furrowed, he tried to speak again. The same thing happened. He tried to suck in a breath but water filled his lungs. He choked and watched as Raine slowly closed her eyes. The smile frozen on her face.

When he finally woke up it was the only time he screamed.

. . .

There she was, laughing. _"Laguna quit that! Your face will freeze like that!"_

There she was, being angry. _"Ellone can't be out this late! You _know_ there are monsters out!"_

There she was, crying. _"She's gone. Ellone's gone! Esthar soldiers took her."_

There he saw her, for the last time, the smile on her tear stained face strained as she listened to his lie. _"We'll be back. I'll bring her back and we'll be a family again."_

Laguna tried to turn away from the morning light, as if to turn away from the lingering memories.

. . .

Laguna pulled a brush through his hair. Today he was leaving the room. It was almost noon a week after the news and he had missed too much already. He was the President of Esthar after all and duties didn't disappear in grief. He rubbed his eyes, noticing the dark circles and thinning cheeks. He shook his head and turned away from the haunting reflection of himself.

When he opened the door into the hallway there wasn't anyone to great him. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. There wasn't any urge to talk to anyone anyway. He pushed the drowning thoughts away from his mind and continued down to the kitchen. Not a soul was there either, and he thought it would be just the perfect time to grab something to snack on. He couldn't remember when the last time he had a proper meal.

"They are getting ready to come through and serve you lunch."

Laguna almost choked on the yogurt he had found in the fridge. He turned his head to meet the eyes of his friend. Kiros crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen archway. "You're up."

"I can't be stuck in there forever." Laguna dragged the spoon back towards his mouth. The yogurt might as well have been ash, it didn't taste like anything. He coughed a little, but continued, "I'm the leader."

"The leader took an understandable break," Kiros added. He made his way across the kitchen. Laguna watched as he put away the extra yogurt. "Does the leader feel the need to lead the people?"

"It's a duty."

"A duty that can be run with the help of your advisors. Ward and I would not run this place to the ground if you needed another week or month—"

"I'm okay."

Kiros peered at him. Laguna could tell that Kiros knew he was lying. His friend didn't voice it though, to Laguna's relief. Instead he leaned back on his chair. "Well, as long as you're okay."

Laguna tried to put on his best smile, which failed into a pained line. Instead he dipped his head down into the yogurt, hoping the food didn't recoil against him.

. . .

In the weeks and months that passed by, Laguna managed to concentrate on Esthar. The now invisible city was doing a great job at being invisible. The old sorceress was hanging out by the moon, and everything was going quite well.

Laguna himself was not doing as well as the city. He didn't have any energy, he was losing a lot of weight, and he couldn't sleep. He wasn't talking to people, socially, and found a lot of the time he wanted to be left alone. He was constantly trying to get things done to keep his mind away from his family and he was running out of things to get done.

Laguna needed something to concentrate on. Currently he was working out a military routine with the Commander.

"We need to make sure that the outside is just as safe as the inside."

"I agree, Sir." The commander, Laguna thought, had finally warmed up to him. "I can create a few teams to scout out areas on a timed basis. Esthar will be protected under my watch twenty-four seven."

"Yes. Good. I'm also going to be scouting." Laguna said it almost so nonchalantly he noticed the Commander almost didn't hear it. It would be the prefect thing for him, going out to fight.

The soldier almost agreed, but suddenly was shaking his head. Laguna mentally snapped his fingers. "What would the people of Esthar think if their leader, the leader who defeated the sorceress, was suddenly out killing monsters? What if you die? Who would lead us then?"

"I won't." Laguna set down the paper, giving the Commander a long hard stare. "I won't die. I will not die."

The Commander snorted. "You are not immortal. No one is."

"Don't I know it?" Laguna caught the concern in the Commander's expression. If only for a moment. He waved his hand, waving away his sadness that suddenly blocked his vision. "I will lead the night shifts. Not every night. Maybe three nights. I will go out." He forced as much authority in his voice at the last part, and luckily the Commander just gave a nod. "And. This is between me and you, Commander. My advisors do not need to know about this."

There was no argument. Laguna dismissed his commanding officer and allowed himself to lean back. Maybe with that on his mind he could sleep and eat the other few days of the week.


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Battles and War

**Chapter Fifteen:** The Battles of War

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII

_We are so very, very close! A few weeks late, but who cares! I can almost see it now! It feels so nice to sit and relax a little, though. My feet are sore and my gun carrying arm is definitely not as strong as it used to be._

_Kiros told me that the fight that happened years and years ago might finally be catching up to me. Ah. Old age. I think we're going to need assistance getting back to Esthar after this trip. I don't mind, though. This might be the last bit of traveling my body can take, at least on foot, and it's a good cause so I don't mind that this might be the end. There are still airships and the Ragnarok though! Technology is magical. Now that Esthar is back to being visible after its long break I'll probably be traveling to other places anyway to make my round of apologies._

_People outside of Esthar are not exactly the happiest with this president._

* * *

><p>As the years flew by Laguna kept himself busier and busier. Esthar was safe. There hadn't been a threat to security since the beginning of the city's disappearance but patrols still happened every day and night. Laguna worked and worked keeping himself busy and became even more secluded. The people of Esthar got used to seeing him only on national holidays or events. This didn't seem to concern the people as long as they were safe.<p>

Laguna didn't mind the busywork, but five years into it his Aides took notice of how tired he actually looked.

"Laguna, vacations are necessary. The people can't expect you to lead without any relaxation." Kiros and Ward were eyeing their president. Laguna didn't doubt his friends were seeing how dog-tired he could be. "There are nice beaches around. We could disguise ourselves and go visit Galbadia. Might give us a clue as to what they are doing."

"We already have people out there spying on their government. Keeping them in check so that they can't find us." Laguna rubbed his eyes but didn't look up from his papers. "Besides I just have too much to do. Secret trading with Balamb and the Shumis. Doctor Crazy is trying to create super soldiers and I need to talk him out of it. I also don't need a vacation. I just can't leave anyway. The neutrality policy binds us here anyway." Laguna looked up from his paper. "I'm also tired of traveling."

Someplace in his heart he knew that wasn't true. Kiros and Ward knew there wasn't any truth in that statement anyway. Though, a part of him knew he didn't want to get back out into the world because he was afraid of what he would see. Change, he has learned, could be great; even magical. It could also be cold. Life could slip out of your grasp at any waking moment. He needed to shake away the feeling that started to edge up as it got closer and closer to the anniversary of Raine's death. Not surprisingly, the only way to keep that in check was fighting. It wasn't night time yet, though. Laguna twisted his body allowing his bones to creak and crack. It would have to do for the moment. "Guys, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

Ward waved his hand. Kiros sighed. He won this battle, though the war was still raging on.

. . .

The Commander was the only one that knew Laguna was a part of the team. He treated him as such, and Laguna reveled in the feel of something familiar. His time in the military wasn't the best of times, but the feel of killing a monster was the release he looked forward to. When he was thinking about his old life and those dark feelings would rise, fighting would rejuvenate him out of the murk.

Laguna followed the five manned team out of the city limits. There was a lot of rocks and dirt that made the path a little tricky to maneuver in, but he was used to it. The weapon he held was heavy, heavier than his machine gun he normally used, but with the years of use and lifting, it was no problem to heft around. He really got the hang of shooting and swinging. _Reminds me of my gunblade days. No one's been shot in the foot though. Where is some stone to knock on?_

The nights were pretty uneventful. There would be a few monsters, most of them being Bite Bugs, but nothing hard to beat. In the five years of night shifts, only once had they had a breach of security. One Galbadian soldier found his way to the city and they were able to capture him. He was a half-hearted man about the military and quickly warmed up to the idea of becoming a citizen rather than a prisoner. No, nights were very uneventful. Often times the patrol would talk quietly and keep an eye out for anything suspicious.

This night, however, was a very different night.

"Oi! I heard that the Commander found himself a lady?"

"Really? Didya see her? She as stiff as he is?"

"I heard. I didn't see!" The other soldiers laughed quietly. Laguna smiled underneath his bug mask. He couldn't see the Commander dating anyone, not ever. "But I hear she bosses him around!" the soldier continued. "Treats him just like he treats us!"

"Quiet down back there!" Laguna watched as the two soldiers almost jumped out of their armor. "Or else there will be two more people cleaning up the mess halls tomorrow morning, afternoon and night." There was a salute and some more sniggering at the soldiers' expense.

Just as they were rounding around a hill, the troop suddenly stopped. Laguna just about ran into the person in front of him, which seemed to always happen in his life. He looked up to see a sight he was not expecting to see.

Green tentacles moved steadily, some hitting the ground though most whipped the air. The wide mouth of the Malboro never closed and was ready to kill with its rows of sharp teeth. It breathed in wildly before giving an ear splitting roar. With the roar, which surprised everyone again on top of the surprise visit of such a vile creature, came the worst smell that even penetrated their filters in their armor.

"Malboro! Formation A!" the Commander shouted, coughing a little.

The soldiers were moving a little slowly for Laguna's liking, but he couldn't blame them. A Malboro's breath could kill anything in its way. He had fought these things many times in his traveling life. By the fourth time seeing the monster, Laguna and his two old companions could kill it in just a few strikes. He could tell that this was really the first time the Commander or the little troop had gone up against one, but luckily they had a plan. Thanking his air filter in the suit, Laguna ran into position. He ducked down on one knee, aimed his weapon, and set his finger on the trigger waiting for the command.

"FIRE!"

Laguna let loose on the monster. Normally formation A took down the defenses, meaning most of the tentacles on a Malboro, but something was off. The monster roared again, agitated, and swiped out against the party. Three men went down. There was too much slow movement coming from the soldiers' side and men had missed their mark.

The Commander looked back at his men. Two against one, and the odds were _not_ in their favor. The momentary shock allowed for a momentary weakness. The Malboro struck, but Laguna was a little faster. He pushed the Commander out of the way, the both of them missing the green slimy appendage, but Laguna felt a sharp pain in his arm. The monster had bitten down on his weapon, but took his arm up to the shoulder with it. He could feel something tearing and suddenly felt very queasy.

"FIRE!"

The men were able to regroup and fire at the Malboro's chest, or at least the area around where Laguna stood clamped. The Malboro seemed to scream out in agony, but it did let go of Laguna's arm. He dropped to the ground, narrowly avoiding the tentacles, as the reformed group shot the monster down. With a few sickening sounds, the monster finally lay defeated.

Laguna, against all orders of the Commander, threw off his helmet. It was agreed upon, five years earlier, that Laguna would not take off his helmet. He would also be the last to change from his armor so that no one knew the President was fighting with them. There was always the excuse that the last soldier in had to clean weapons, so Laguna did just that as everyone else showered and left the building.

Laguna was vomiting though, and couldn't bear to do that in full armor with a helmet on. When the Commander and the other three soldiers came around he could hear some gasps. Laguna didn't care, though. He was seconds away from pulling off his armor in the sudden heat. Fever was starting to kick in. His arm was the hottest, and when he looked over at it, it seemed to swell and burn. That bite was not anything to mess with, and he could already feel himself slowing down and getting dizzy.

"Water." Laguna was gasping. The Commander held him still.

"Sir, you are going into shock. There must have been poison in that Malboro bite." The Commander was looking at Laguna's arm wound. There were four rows of bite marks that went down and around his arm. The wounds were bleeding but also giving off a smell that was a little worrying. He looked up, "Soldier you brought the medical kit, correct? If you didn't, our President's death is all on you."

"Yes, sir!" the medic cried out. He scrambled into his pack and pulled out an antidote, some gauze and other things. Laguna couldn't concentrate on everything going around because, one, he was still holding back whatever was left of his dinner, and, two, everything was turning black. He turned his head, not being able to hold back anything in his stomach, then turned back to the Commander. "Can't see…feeling sick," as if no one could even tell.

"Don't move, soldier…Sir. President. If you move the poison will move quicker through your veins." He tipped something into Laguna's mouth that made him gag. Once it settled into his stomach, though, he could feel some strength returning. "This will keep you going but we need to get back to Esthar. You two carry him, no swinging him around! Let's move!"

. . .

Laguna barely remembered getting to the gates, seeing Ward and being carried by him, and being rushed to the medical facilities. He could barely remember the explanation that he had to go to the citizen's hospital because there wasn't time to travel to the center of the city. He definitely didn't remember the shots and IVs that pumped medicine into his arms, though he did remember waking up.

To a very unhappy Kiros. Laguna gave him his best smile. Kiros wasn't having it. "You could have died. The Commander told us what happened. Why didn't you tell me you've been sneaking out?"

Laguna opened his mouth but no words came out. He was severely thirsty and could only mouth and cough the word water. Kiros sighed and handed him a cup with ice and a straw. "I suppose this discussion can wait. Get better."

He left Laguna after that. Laguna was relieved. He dodged at least one bullet that night.

. . .

Laguna was devastated to learn that he wouldn't be able to lift up the Esthar weapons with the state of his arm. The poison had directly attacked the muscles in his arm causing them to deteriorate. Not totally, he was lucky for that. The tearing didn't help either. He was reassured that with time and some training the muscles would become stronger and he could eventually hold a weapon, but not to the point that he could hold an Esthar-heavy gun.

"Gone are the days of you sneaking out." Kiros wheeled the President back to his room. The poison did a very good number on his arm and for the moment left Laguna wobbly on his feet. It was better that he be put into a temporary wheelchair until he was better. None of the news he was receiving sat well him. Kiros' chiding didn't help either. "I don't understand why you were out there anyway."

"I don't think you'd ever understand," Laguna mumbled. He was staring at his arm brace that wrapped his arm to his chest. He couldn't move it without pain that shot through his whole body.

Kiros became oddly quiet. He rolled the president into his room and shut the door behind them. Laguna watched as his friend walked around him and sat in one of the many chairs in the room. "Talk."

"About what?" Laguna almost winced at the edge that came into his voice. He concluded that he didn't care. He was angry. "What could I possibly talk about? I've apologized."

"There is obviously something on your mind that you couldn't confide into your Aides? You know Ward is taking this pretty harshly. Most of his job is protecting you—"

"I don't _need_ protected—"

"Obviously!"

Laguna curled one hand into a fist. "Then maybe he should be trying harder, huh? Maybe he could have stopped me if he tried! Five years is a long time for me to be sneaking around! I can't believe you guys didn't have a clue! If you really are my _Aides_ you should have been able to see this coming!"

Kiros snapped, too. "Just because you couldn't save your wife doesn't mean you can push all of the blame for your arm on us!" Laguna's mouth dropped. His stomach curled at the truth that Kiros had spat out in the air. _I am. I am blaming everyone but myself. _He quickly averted his eyes from Kiros and looked down. He could hear the sigh coming from across the room.

There was a sudden pain in Laguna's heart. Something he was pushing away from himself for a long time. Just as the pain hit the surface, he felt the tears prickling then finally falling. When his shoulders began to shake from the sobs he held inside he could hear the muffled, quick pace of Kiros coming over to him. He didn't want to break down in front of anyone, but he was holding too much in. "You know me too well, Kiros," Laguna said between shaky intakes of breath. "I guess I didn't mean what I said. No, I really know I didn't mean what I said."

"I'm sorry. I should not have said what I did. No one knows what happened to Raine, or even if you could have saved her in time." Laguna felt the warm hand on his shoulder. He laid his good hand on top. "I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry. I really am. You're right. It's the truth, about Raine. I should have told you guys about my night patrolling. It wasn't fair to leave you out." He finally took a chance and looked up into Kiros' face. A few more tears slid down his face. He couldn't have felt any more vulnerable. He let out an unsteady breath. "I've been hurting, Kiros," he admitted. "I can't believe…that…I wasn't there, or—that…she's gone."

"I know old friend. Ward and I are here to listen also, Laguna. Not just advise. You've lost your wife and old way of life too fast. No one expects you to recover and be the same. Only time can help with that, and even then there's a hole."

He paused and then looked Laguna straight in the eye. "You know why I joined the army way back when?" Laguna could only manage a sniffle and a shake of his head. "I lost everything to a war that broke out between villages, mine and a village who we used to call brothers. My home was destroyed, but that's not what broke me. I lost my brothers and sisters in one battle, and I was not there to protect them like I promised my parents that went before them. I lost everything I held dear to me. I had come back to ashes, not a home, or any children. There wasn't anything for me to turn to without my family. I didn't have anyone—no one to trust or to talk to. I wanted to fight, just like you did, and the only way for me to do that was to join a fight. This Sorceress War was just the fight to join." He gave Laguna a half-hearted smile.

"The military became a family, but not even that or time can heal all things, my friend. I still have trouble on the anniversary. All I can tell you is that it gets a little easier."

Laguna just nodded, soaking in this new piece of Kiros he'd never heard before. Now he knew why Kiros avoided the kinds of questions asking about his home or past life. "I promise not to hold it in anymore," he said, wiping his face with the back of his free hand.

"Good." Kiros gave his shoulder a little squeeze. "Rest up. Tomorrow is another day and you've got some explaining to do to the citizens of Esthar. Everyone is just oh so curious as to why the President got bitten by a Malboro."

Laguna smiled and wiped his face. "I forgot about that. A week really takes a lot out of a person." Kiros chuckled as he walked to the door. Laguna turned to him. "Thank you. Really. For sharing that story."

Kiros just nodded once and left the room. Laguna carefully maneuvered himself over to his bed. He felt like he could sleep for a thousand nights, but really in nine hours he probably will have a meeting with the Elders of Esthar. Sighing he lifted himself into his comfortable bed and prepared himself mentally for the day ahead of him.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: The Search Begins

**Chapter Sixteen:** The Search Begins

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_It's getting to be so very warm, even out of the desert. If my calculations are correct, it is almost August. I also have a calendar. I don't have to keep track in my head all of the time!_

_Oh, August. The month of woe. In all seriousness, though, it has been…what…eighteen? No, nineteen years since Raine died. Crazy how two decades of life can fly right by you. The anniversary is always the hardest day for me. It always has been._

* * *

><p>On the tenth anniversary of Raine's passing, Laguna had an odd dream. It was more heartbreaking to him if anything.<p>

He was back in Winhill, and everything was the same and still. Actually, it looked as though time was at a standstill. Nothing was moving, not the leaves on the trees or the grass on the ground. The only thing that would move was whatever Laguna walked through. Even then, after he tread on it, it stuck in its new position. It was very eerie.

He made his way through the town square, feet automatically walking towards the familiar bar. Dream Laguna was already feeling queasy about stepping in to find what was inside, but he couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of possibly seeing Raine again.

The bar was the same. Stools sat at the counter, the chairs were stacked on top of the table as if the place hadn't opened just yet. There was every kind of drink in the cabinets or underneath the counter. The stairs looked rickety and Laguna wondered if he stepped on them if would they still creak. He touched the banister and took one last wistful look around the bar before testing his theory.

_The stairs do creak!_ He was excited about that much. As the upstairs living area came into view, he felt his heart thump. What did he expect to see? Not a pretty sight. In the decade that had past Laguna could only dream up of the all the ways Raine could have died. He knew she was sick, but he always worried that they told him differently and she had actually died a horrible death.

Instead, the clock on the wall didn't tick, there were frozen dust particles in the rays of light that shown through the window, and Raine was sitting in one of the chairs with a tea cup in her hand. Unmoving in time. Laguna made his way over and kneeled on the ground in front of her.

It was before they were married, but after he gave her the ring. Her head was tilted a little to the left, and he knew that she was thinking about something important. He missed that part of her, all of the cute things she did with her expressions. Her hair was pulled back away from her face by a headband and she was wearing jeans and a light sweater. Just like he remembered her. Laguna sighed. She looked so peaceful.

He touched her knee and she gasped; eyes blinking down at him.

"Laguna!"

He almost fell backwards. Raine dropped her tea, which splashed and froze over the rug, and jumped on him. She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed her cheek on his face. "I've missed you so much. Too much."

Laguna could only nod, fearing that if he opened his mouth he would just cry. She smiled down at him, giggled and said, "You've been gone for a while."

"I k-know," Laguna managed to say out loud. "It's been…"

"Too long." Raine tucked a strand of hair behind his head. "It's like you've aged a little!"

_Is this real? _Laguna thought. He could feel his head whirling. _What in the world is happening? Am I dreaming? This is a dream, right?_

"Ah, of course it's a dream." Raine touched her hands to his face. Laguna wondered for a second if he had said that out loud, but Raine had that knowing smile. "I'm just as you remember. Laguna, you know I'm not here on this earth anymore."

"Right…right." Laguna held back a shaky breath.

"But where is Ellone?" Raine asked, a slight frown melting into her features.

"She's…umm."

"You said you would find her," she said in an almost teasing voice.

"I did!" Laguna sucked in a breath. "Well…I mean I did find her. She's been…been…"

"Missing?" Raine finished. She smiled at him again. "I know she's safe, but I'm worried about her and her place in the world." Laguna looked guilty. He couldn't look at Raine now. He hadn't really searched for Ellone, though he did think about her constantly. It was always hard around this time of the year. Raine leaned in for a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. Despite being a dream, Laguna couldn't help but remember what she smelled like and how she felt against him. Dream Laguna let a tear slip. Dream Raine, as if sensing his sadness, hugged him tighter. "Find her Laguna. I know you can. You did it once and I'm sure you can do it again."

She broke the hug and leaned her forehead onto his. "Or maybe she'll find you, but you have to meet her halfway."

She leaned in for a kiss, closing her eyes. Laguna didn't want to close his, but as their lips touched his eyes snapped shut.

When they opened he was back in Esthar. In his lonely bed.

. . .

"I am working on zis."

Laguna looked over Doctor Odine's shoulder to some scribbling and equations. None of it made sense. There were some words—like Para-Magic, junctioning and Guardian Forces—that made sense only because Odine discussed his life's work many a times with the President in their long years together, but Laguna lost himself in the numbers. "Yes. Okay…what is this?"

"Zis is time magick! Zis can change our future!" The little doctor jumped though still didn't reach up to Laguna's neck. "Junction Machine Ellone!"

Laguna's brow furrowed. It was one thing to have a dream about finding Ellone, it was another thing to have the Crazy One talk about her all in one day. "Come again?"

"With zis, moi or one of you if you will, can go back through time and space!" Odine started pacing. "If I got all of ze coordinates, equations, algorithims, maths…"

Laguna listened as Odine listed off all of the requirements for his Junction Machine to work, but he was still a little confused. "Why that title?"

"Ellone can send ze conscious into ze past," the doctor explained. "Using zat I may be able to create a Guardian Force zat can send a person or persons into ze past or future!" Odine hit his hand into his palm. "Zat is why I requested your presence. I want to find Ellone."

Laguna frowned. "I don't need you doing more tests on my niece." _Besides I don't even know where she is._

"No worries. No more tests. I just 'ave questions." Odine was pacing again.

When Laguna wasn't sure what he should do he always gave this answer to questions. "Let me talk to Kiros and Ward and see about this." The doctor didn't make any indication he was listening. Laguna carried on. "In the meantime you need to figure out how to rehydrate that lake! I really liked that lake."

"Eh." The normal response from a thinking Odine. Laguna shook his head and let himself out of the door.

The walk back to the Presidential Palace was uneventful. The citizens of Esthar were now used to their President being outside of the center of the city. Laguna made sure to take time and greet everyone he met. Children loved running up to him and giving him hugs and telling him about his or her day. He always looked out for those in need, whether it was someone who needed a hand or someone to talk to. A normal walk from Odine's lab to the center of the city usually took about twenty minutes. Laguna never had normal walks so he always found himself strolling into the Palace an hour after he started.

Today though there weren't that many people out. Laguna didn't mind, as he had a lot to think about.

"Kiros?" Laguna knocked on his friend's door. "Hey, buddy you in here?"

The door wriggled open and Kiros let Laguna inside. Ward was in there too, looking at something on Kiros's wall tablet. It was scrolling information of the outside countries around them. "I see you got back from Odine's place quicker than usual."

"He was in his own world before and while I was there." Laguna took a seat in a chair across the room. "And there weren't as many people out and about on my walk back."

"So what did the crazy little scientist want?"

"He has a new idea going through his head." Laguna rubbed his eyes. After the dream he couldn't quite get back to sleep and was starting to feel the effects. "Something called a Junction Machine Ellone."

Both Kiros and Ward turned to him. Laguna shrugged. "Weird, right? I thought so too."

"What is it?"

Laguna tried to explain exactly what the doctor meant, even though he didn't quite understand the science himself, and also told them about his dream. "It's just so weird to have that all happen in the last twelve hours."

Kiros looked thoughtful. Ward nudged him, and he nodded. "I was thinking the same thing."

"What?" Laguna, for the most part, had given up on trying to decipher what the big guy silently said the past few years.

"Look for her," Kiros said with a shrug. "It's Hyne giving you a sign. Take it. You haven't seen her in a long time and maybe we can get her to stay here."

"Even with the crazy doctor?"

"You have final say on all things Odine," Kiros reminded him. "And besides he just has questions."

Laguna rested his head in one closed fist. It was a lot to take in. "Where do I even start looking?"

Kiros thought for a second. "I would say Winhill." When Laguna looked to object, he held up his hand. "Listen. The people there are probably afraid of Esthar, yes, but that would be the only logical place to start. Only they really know where they sent Ellone after Raine had passed."

"That's true." Laguna sighed. "We'll need to disguise the people going on…"

Ward nudged Kiros again. "Ward says a good disguise would be a biographer. Someone who is researching the Sorceress War? Maybe the mayor would talk to a person like that."

Laguna nodded, a plan formulating in his mind. He could feel himself becoming elated at the thought of seeing his niece again, but he also had a feeling of regret. Why did he wait ten years to think about searching for her? Would she even want to come see him since he hadn't tried contacting her before?

"Well…I guess we should create a team! Let's see who the Commander can let go of on a mission for a while."

. . .

The team of people Laguna sent a few days after his little committee made a plan came back two weeks later with their first report.

Raine passed away just as they were sending children away to an orphanage. They sent Ellone with a newborn baby and some toddlers to a seaside orphanage since they couldn't place them into other people's homes. Apparently they just didn't have enough room for the orphaned children. The mayor said sadly that people were also wary of Ellone because of her special 'ability' and that was one of the reasons why they sent her away even though she was older.

Laguna recognized the orphanage right away. It had belonged to Cid and Edea (Matron) Kramer, that young couple raising the children of the war. He hoped that Ellone would still be there, she would only be in her late teens.

He had dismissed the team to go search for her at the orphanage. He told them to report back either with words or with Ellone, if possible. In case there were any questions, Laguna personally wrote a letter to the married couple explaining who he was and when they had met years ago. He wanted to let them know that Ellone was the girl he was looking for all that time ago.

This trip took three and a half weeks and when they came back there was no Ellone.

But they did have a story.

"Reporting, sir!" the soldier said, saluting Laguna and his advisors. Laguna was hanging a painting of Winhill up above the doorway to his room in the Palace when the soldier came up. He almost fell at the sudden noise behind him. He carefully climbed down the ladder and faced the man in the armor. He waved to have him continue. "The orphanage is gone, sir!"

"What do you mean, gone?" Laguna felt his heart break. "Gone like a storm wiped it out?"

"No, sir. Disbanded, sir!" The soldier waited for his reply.

Laguna rubbed his face. "Did you get any information?"

The soldier nodded. "A Mister Cid Kramer happened to be at the beach near the lighthouse, sir. He looked at the letter and told us everything, sir!"

Laguna listened. Edea Kramer, about five years ago, was approached by a dying Sorceress. When the woman had finally died, Edea had gained her powers. Since she knew this sorceress was a dangerous one and that she now had inherited her powers, she and her husband created the idea of Gardens. A Garden trained soldiers, known as SeeD, who would be able to kill a Sorceress if she got to be too powerful. Cid eventually found sponsors and created Balamb Garden, which he now leads.

Cid took the orphans who wanted to become SeeD with him and those who did not wish to join an eventual battle were sent to a White SeeD ship with Edea or adopted out. White SeeD soldiers were there to protect the Edea while her powers lay dormant.

Ellone, unfortunately, did not stay with Cid.

"So she's out on a boat somewhere?"

"Affirmative, sir. Kramer does not know the whereabouts as he does not want to endanger his wife or the children that stayed with her, sir."

Laguna sighed. He rubbed his face. "Any other information?"

The soldier nodded, though he hesitated a little bit. "Sir, the reason why Edea left the orphanage and created the White SeeD soldiers is because Doctor Odine has been looking for Ellone and she wanted to protect the girl, sir!"

Laguna blinked. "What?"

"Uh. Sir!" The soldier straightened into a salute. "It would seem that the Doctor has been sending people to try and kidnap Ellone for a few years now, sir!"

Laguna would have snapped if it wasn't for Kiros stepping in. Kiros smiled kindly to the soldier and said, "thank you. If we need you or your team we will call for you. You are dismissed."

The soldier saluted again and walked out. When the door closed, Laguna let out a frustrated yell. "You're kidding me?! I didn't know about this!"

"I don't think anyone did, Laguna."

Laguna was rolling up his sleeves. "I could give him a piece of my mind—"

"You won't." Kiros stopped Laguna from grabbing any weapon. "You will stay here. Let me and Ward handle this."

Laguna breathed in and out a few times. The anger at the little doctor going behind his back was not leaving quickly. He could feel a vein pulse inside of him, but he had to trust Kiros. He'd probably go in there and kill the little guy, but his friend had a way of getting people to listen and follow the rules. "Settle down, president. We'll go take care of this. You concentrate on Ellone and where we can find this White SeeD ship."

Ward gave Laguna a thumbs up and a slap on the back. After dusting himself up off the floor, Laguna gave Kiros and Ward permission to go 'speak' with the little doctor.

He could only hope Ward could give him a slap on the back and bust him up a little.


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Ellone's Visit

**Chapter Seventeen:** Ellone's Visit

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_Timbeeerrr!_

_Haha, a joke. Sort of._

_The town of trees! The town of rebels! Timber is finally released from the Galbadian hold it was in for years and the people here finally seem to be a little more restful. That's good. I'm happy for them. We are taking another break and I'm going to write my person another letter._

_I'm excited to visit Timber Maniacs, though! I might be able to earn some gil! (Not that I need it.)_

* * *

><p>Laguna was becoming worried about Esthar. Not that it was hard hiding this grand city from the world, but that maybe the world needed this grand city. With the fights breaking out between the Gardens—Laguna has made sure to keep an eye out on these military schools for any signs of his missing niece—and one Garden even being destroyed by the command of a powerful Sorceress, Laguna worried that Galbadia might actually be on its way to becoming the ruler of all the continents.<p>

He didn't want that to happen. The little places like Balamb and the Shumi Village wouldn't last underneath that kind of rule.

"Guys, is it time to let Esthar be…well, be Esthar?" Laguna was talking to his two favorite Aides.

"Seventeen years is a long time to be silent, Laguna." Kiros crossed his arms. "You have to think about what the repercussions are going to be for being so silent for so long. We may be the next target for the Sorceress."

Laguna nodded, knowing the risks. Being silent for seventeen years maybe wasn't the best of choices to make, but Laguna really had to think about the people of Esthar and what was best for them. He also had to think about the sorceress who was on the moon and all of the technology that came with that. There was no end to the crisis they would have if anyone got ahold of Esthar, or Doctor Odine for that matter. _That genius doctor could be our downfall if anyone could convince him to leave Esthar._

Ward nudged Kiros, and he nodded, agreeing. "Ward thinks this might be a good time to bring in the Commander. Well, the retired Commander, too," Kiros added.

The old Commander retired four years back. He deserved the retirement for keeping the bad out of this place for so long. The new Commander was just as critical as the last, though he was new in the army during Adel's rule and for all of Esthar's seclusion and would definitely have a different view on this matter. "I think you're right, Ward."

. . .

They met with the Commanders that evening. Laguna jumped in and laid it out to them. "I think it's time for Esthar to come out of hiding."

The Commanders looked at each other and then back to Laguna. The old Commander spoke first. "What is making you come to that decision?"

"Well…I think the world needs us. Edea…ah, the new evil Sorceress has destroyed Tribia Garden and yesterday morning attacked Balamb Garden. At this rate, Galbadia could very well be in control of these places. I'm not liking these odds, and I really think the world can use our assistance. Our technology."

There was silence for a moment. The older Commander spoke again. "Have you thought about the consequences? Governments are not going to be happy about our disappearance, I can assure you. We could be the next target to the Sorceress."

Laguna nodded. "I have thought of that, but I do not believe we should stay quiet either way."

The younger Commander nodded his head. "Sir, I believe that the President is correct. If we do not come out now and help, in just a few years all ties that we have with the other countries will be cut. We may not have the needs necessary to survive without trading with Balamb or any other place." He looked thoughtful. "Perhaps we can just send soldiers out?"

"I don't know." Kiros leaned forward. "How can people trust a city they can't see?"

There was more silence after that. Laguna leaned back and looked up at the grand ceiling of the conference room they were using. There had to be a way to defeat this enemy without delaying their aid.

"I am sorry. I cannot think of anything at this time."

Laguna waved his hand. He smiled at the young Commander. "I think we all need to think about this some more. Make a benefits and non-benefits list!"

"Pros and cons, Laguna?"

"Yeah, those!"

The Commanders left the room and Laguna turned to Kiros. "I still don't know what to do."

"Well, let's see how these new turn of events end and make a decision after that. We really need more information about Edea. It's really hard to think that she's commanding these battles." Laguna could see Ward sadly agreeing behind him.

"I know. I don't think I understand either."

. . .

Laguna was making plans to visit the Lunar Base when he received the news.

Ellone had made contact with an Estharian ship that was making its way back with traded goods and would like to come to Esthar. She sent her coordinates to them, and they were just awaiting Laguna's answer. He couldn't say yes fast enough.

He also couldn't feel more excited and stressed about the situation. His little niece, who wasn't so little anymore, was finally coming to him. He couldn't hardly concentrate on going up to Adel's Tomb, but he made arrangements to go up anyway. He was too overdue on looking over things up in space.

"What do you think I should say? I can't be…you know…too excited about it? Or maybe I can? I can't just be like…hey." Laguna paced back in forth in his room. Kiros and Ward watched him create ruts in the carpet. "I need help!"

"Do what feels right."

"How do I know what _feels_ right?" Laguna sighed. "I haven't seen the girl in _seventeen_ years. Seventeen. She's like…twenty-two…I missed her life! What if she doesn't want to talk to me?"

"Would she have contacted Esthar if she didn't want to talk to you?" Laguna could tell Kiros was trying to bring him down to earth, but deep down knew Laguna was overreacting to this situation.

"I mean…yeah. I guess. Ahh! This is all so…" Laguna slumped onto a chair. "I guess I just need to see her."

"Yep." Kiros smiled. "Now get ready. You're going to the moon."

. . .

Laguna always felt relaxed in the high speed little capsule that shot him into space. He never had nightmares in his 'cold-sleep' while going to the moon. When he was 'thawed' he was greeted by a scientist with a smile. "Good Afternoon, sir. I just wanted to let you know up front that the Tomb has not had any negative reports to…uh, report."

Laguna smiled. "Good, good! I'm excited to see that old witch in her place. Give me a few moments to move around a little, and I should be good to go! Forty-four years is making me all creaky." The scientist smiled and left him alone for a few minutes before coming back in and leading him out of the room.

The Lunar Base was as futuristic as Esthar could get. It had all the newest technology to keep up with the changing conditions of space. Space wasn't too changing, but Laguna didn't want anything to falter or break. He worried about the people up here and that any crack or malfunction could kill all of them in a matter of minutes. There was also the entombed sorceress to worry about. If Adel came out now, the world would have to deal with two Sorceresses who wanted power. There could be none of that. "Everything is all good, correct?"

"Yes, sir! We just installed a new oxygen system that is a little more reliable than the last. Not that we were at risk of suffocating, sir!" The little scientist was nervous. Laguna gave him a warm smile. "Ah, but, yes, it was just getting older—out of date."

They came upon the control room where they saw Piet, one of two leaders on the base. The other is taking her six month rest and working down at the Lunar Gate. Laguna shook hands with Piet. "Hello, long time no see!"

"Hello, President Laguna." Piet smiled and led him over to the two controllers. They looked out of the glass windows. "There she is."

Laguna looked out at the moon then focused on Adel's Tomb. Still in the same shape he had left it. The Sorceress looked to be asleep with arms crossed over each other. She still struck a little fear in Laguna's gut, though she was harmless. "Everything going well since my last visit?"

"Yes." Piet looked over at him. "After the…incident, we were able to get the Tomb fully functional again."

"Oh, ha-ha." Laguna scratched his head. He had almost forgotten. The last visit, which was a year and a half ago, he had a hunch that one of the seals on the tomb was off, and that's why there was beeping. After almost turning the seals off altogether and letting loose the terror, Leslie, the other leader of the Base, managed to seal the tomb up totally and get the beeping to stop. Laguna apologized profusely. "Honest mistake?"

"Yeah. Honest mistake."

After talking about the functions and health of the sorceress, Laguna let Piet know that there would be a visitor coming up to see him later this week. "It's my niece so be nice to her!"

"I didn't know you had a niece."

"It's a long, long story involving too many things, Piet," Laguna said with a wave of his hand. "It would bore you."

Piet just smiled. "Well, alright. Why don't we have a look over the medical bay?"

. . .

Laguna wanted to be without an audience when Ellone finally arrived. She was just coming into the docking bay and about to be thawed when he excused himself. Not before telling the controller to escort Ellone to his room.

He was having problems trying to figure out if he should look causal sitting down or if he should be standing. He was testing out the theory of sitting when the soft knock came onto the door.

He jumped up. "Come…come in!" he stammered out.

The door opened to reveal a young woman. Her brown hair was cut in a bob that curled into her face. She was wearing a white skirt, smoothed of wrinkles, and a blue sleeveless top with a white collar. Around her arms was a green shawl, maybe in case she got cold. She turned and closed the door.

When she turned back around she was smiling, and Laguna could see his five year old niece. He put a hand to his chest. "Hello," she said shyly.

"I…Elle…um." _Stay cool, Laguna._ "Hey." He flinched at how awkward he sounded.

Instead of looking at him in contempt, she laughed and made her way to him. Before he knew it, he had his niece in his arms. "I've missed you so much, Uncle Laguna!"

"Ellone. I'm so…" He felt like he couldn't express himself properly.

"I know. I know about everything!" Ellone broke the hug and looked up at him. She had tears in her eyes, and Laguna couldn't help himself. He let a few tears fall too. "There's so much to say, Uncle Laguna! Not enough time."

"I know. I know." Laguna led her over to the two chairs that sat in front of each other. "Um. How are you? I'm sure you're fine. You look well. Ah…"

Ellone laughed again. Even though there was no blood relation between them, Ellone reminded him so much of Raine. He smiled, but looked down at the floor. "Ellone, just let me say I'm so sorry it took me so long to find you. I…have no excuses."

Laguna felt a soft hand on his knee. He looked up. "I know you thought about us. Every day." Ellone patted his knee. Laguna looked up. "Trust me! I know you would have been there if you could. Who knows? If you had come home with me the world would be different…and I don't know if you could have saved Aunt Raine."

Laguna nodded, resting a hand on top of hers. He couldn't believe this little girl had grown up. "How do you know…?"

"My…power." Ellone pushed her hair behind her ear. "I can pretty much control it now, Uncle Laguna. I can show you…I've learned a lot! So much these long years. I've been…watching you?"

Laguna couldn't help but to laugh. Ellone laughed along with him. "Not to sound creepy. I've seen you in your good times…and bad." She folded her hands. "I can visit the past, any day or moment. As long as I know the person…personally." She paused. Laguna just nodded, letting her go on. "Um. It got harder the more older you got…like…the most recent past I could get to was about six years ago, and even then it was…cloudy, um…I think…I think it's because I haven't seen you in a while. Is this making sense?"

Laguna nodded. "Definitely. I learned a lot about what your power was when you were here…oh so long ago. Doctor Odine told me a lot about it."

"Ah. Yes. The doctor." Ellone leaned back a little. "I talked to him at the Gate."

"Did you?" Laguna frowned. After he found out about his little kidnapping attempt he couldn't bring himself to fully trust the Doctor just yet. Though the crazy man did apologize. Kiros must have scared him. Or Ward must have been intimidating.

Ellone smiled and sat up a little. "Yes. I did agree to help him. Only," she added quickly when Laguna wanted to protest, "because I know it will help us. Later. Oh, there is so much, Uncle Laguna. I don't know where to start."

Ellone shut her eyes and hummed a little. Laguna let her think. "I guess I'll start with this. The world outside of Esthar is in turmoil. We're in another war…but with a future enemy."

"Future?" Laguna asked.

"Oh. It's complicated," Ellone said thoughtfully. She tapped her chin. "It's…right now…I've seen it accidentally in my sleep. When I sleep…I can't really control what I see. In my sleep I saw the same event in two different ways. I saw a sorceress give her powers to Matron, Edea. I've been researching her, but I haven't been able to find a sorceress like her…well in the past anyway."

"Is there a name for this sorceress?"

"Ultimecia." Ellone frowned. "I connected into Edea's most recent past and found out the name of the sorceress that was possessing her. Matron just actually passed her powers on, so she shouldn't be possessed anymore."

"Oh! So she was possessed. Good. I didn't think she could possibly kill anyone…or anything."

Ellone nodded. "I felt the same way. I always had this strange feeling when I connected with Edea before the possession stopped. Like this weird…buzzing. I don't know. It was like I was sharing the moment with someone else too."

"How did you see that in two different ways? I understand being in Edea, but who else was there?"

"Squall." Ellone smiled as if thinking about a memory. "He was so very small. He had overheard the people talking in the orphanage and snuck around and saw Matron talking to a dying Ultimecia."

"She was dying?"

"I'm sure she was. She had to pass her powers onto someone, and Edea was there. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but I do know that a sorceress has to give her powers away in order to die. It would seem that she used that Junction Machine Ellone to move to the past. I'm not positive of the details, but soon Squall will come and I'm sure he'll be the one to save us!"

Laguna nodded, but didn't recognize the name she had repeated. "Who is Squall? Was he a boy that was at the orphanage with you? Is he in the army? A White SeeD…?"

Ellone's eyes widened. She opened her mouth a few times, before furrowing her brow. "Um. Wait. You don't…really? Oh. Oh, my. I guess…I guess." Ellone scooted to the edge of her seat. "Uncle Laguna." She held out her hands.

"What's going on? You're on edge!" He set his hands on top of hers. He watched as she pressed her lips together into a line.

Ellone gently folded her hands into his. "Uncle Laguna," she started again. "Uncle Laguna…" She sounded astonished.

"Yes, Ellone?" His smile faltered a little. What had her so tongue tied?

"Well…Uncle Laguna. I think I should just show you."


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Connection

**Chapter Eighteen:** Connection

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_Ah, a delay in Timber. Looks as if I'm not healing up as quickly as I would like! My arm is super sore and my Aides say I should take at least a two day rest. My age and years have really caught up on me! Mind as well write then._

_This little entry is all about memories. Not mine, of course._

* * *

><p>(Laguna opened his eyes and it was almost as if the world's saturation had faded a little. He was in the bar and it was cold. It felt like he was thinking in slow motion, and it took him a moment to realize that he had been sent back in time. He was in Winhill. He didn't really have a body, it was more just him seeing everything and soaking it into his mind or memory. <em>What's going on?<em>

(_Sorry Uncle Laguna. I always forget to remind people I'm sending them back_, Ellone's voice said to him. It was as if she was in the room, right next to him, speaking softly. _Um…I'm not exactly sure when I sent you. Do you have any idea? I haven't sent your mind back in a long time, so I might have overthrew you._

(Laguna shook his head, or at least he felt like he shook it. Nothing looked particular about this moment, though he did have a feeling of dread_. I'm not sure when I am_, he said aloud. He wasn't used to the distant sound of his voice. He seemed to float to the steps of the bar and reached upstairs.

(There he saw something he wasn't expecting to see. There he was, almost eighteen years younger, holding a crying Raine. She was hysterical and wasn't listening to what Laguna was trying to say. She looked to be pushing him away, but then also trying to grab onto him. Young Laguna looked a little lost.)

"Raine. Raine. Talk to me, baby. You're hurt." Young Laguna was gently pulling Raine's hair back. There was blood on her forehead coming from her hairline, thought it looked to have stopped he was still trying to assess the damage. He could see a little bit of a bruise. Laguna could feel the anger boiling on the inside at himself and the soldiers who raided the town.

(Laguna felt like he was frozen to the spot. Ellone sent him back to _that_ morning. He found Raine, after his daily monster hunt, lying on the floor. She was unconscious and he remembered seeing blood on her forehead. He could feel his heart pound. This was just a few days before he left on that journey.)

"Laguna. Laguna. Laguna." Raine had calmed down just slightly. Tears were spilling out of her eyes and she was having trouble catching them. "I promise I just ran up here to…to g-grab some…thing. She's gone. Ellone's gone! Esthar soldiers took her. Oh…oh!" She flinched when Laguna pressed on her head. Fresh tears fell down her face.

"Shh…I'm just making sure the bleeding has stopped. They hit you? Did they do anything else?"

Raine shook her head. "I turned around and I didn't even see it coming. I…I…they hit me with the back of their sword. Thing." Raine took a deep breath in. When she let it out, it came out in a sob. Young Laguna wrapped his arms around his wife. He rocked her, gently whispering in her ear.

(_Ah, sorry, Uncle Laguna. I'm connecting you…now_.)

(It was as if the world swirled around.)

(Laguna was still in the same place, but it was a little lighter outside. He wandered around the quiet room, looking at the spot he just saw his younger self and crying wife. He heard the door downstairs close. He let his mind follow the steps down.

(He saw Raine coming in from outside. She looked cold but snug underneath her winter coat. Laguna thought she looked cute under all of her layers, despite the situation. It looked to be late in winter, but mostly it was a rainy-snow mix. He got closer to Raine and really took a good look at her. There were dark circles underneath her eyes, but she was looking healthy. Laguna noticed that she at least wasn't losing any weight, but had a glow about her. Her face was concentrated, but Laguna could see the sadness in the twitch of her frown. _I'm sorry for causing you so much grief, Raine._

(She looked confused a moment and looked around the room. It was as if she felt a presence. Laguna chuckled, despite himself. That feeling of something being there, in the room, following him was a sensation he knew all too well. He watched as she set the groceries on the table and started unbuttoning her coat. She turned away and reached her arms out of the sleeves.

(When she turned back around Laguna could hear himself gasp. Her belly definitely had a bump in it. A bump that stretched out a few inches. _Wait. No. Ellone? What's going on_?)

"Okay. Milk, eggs, in the fridge." Raine was speaking quietly to herself. _I'm feeling so very hungry lately. I hope it gets warmer soon. I'm ready for some spring vegetables._ She laid a hand on her stomach. _I'm sure this little girl…or guy…would like to try some too._

(It was odd to Laguna to hear Raine's thoughts. He just wanted to reach out to her. _Raine you're…were…pregnant? My…baby?)_

_And I have an appointment in twenty minutes. This baby has been moving a little! It's been so surreal…I wish Laguna could see me._ Raine frowned. _I haven't been able to tell him. I wonder where he is._

(Laguna wanted to scream that he was right here. _She won't hear you Uncle Laguna. Here…another._)

(The world swirled again.)

It had been a bad night. Raine was lying in bed, eyes wide open. Her feet hurt, her back hurt, it was hot despite the rain and wind going on outside, and there was just too much on her mind. It was late June, and there was still no sign of Laguna or Ellone. It was nights like this that she thought the worst.

She lifted herself in a sitting position, her pregnant belly sticking out from underneath her night shirt. _I need to write_, she thought to herself.

(Laguna watched as she pulled herself out of bed and went over to the desk that was in the corner. He willed himself to float over to what she was looking at. _A journal? Did you start writing, Raine?_ Laguna could feel a sad smile melt into his expression. She was always encouraging him to write. He leaned over to see what she was saying.)

_Oh, how cliché it would be to write to my dear Laguna. But here goes._ Raine chuckled to herself.

_My dear Laguna,_

_If only you could see me laughing right now. I miss you too much. Elle too, and I really hope you have found her and you are on your way home. I have something important to tell you._

_Writing this all out is weird. I am not good with words, like you are. I usually just write what pops into my head. I wanted to think of some names—_

She paused to rub a hand on her belly. She sighed and continued on.

_I have this nagging feeling it's going to be a girl. A little sister to Ellone. Wouldn't that be cute? But I suppose I should think of names for both, huh?_

(Laguna watched as she drew a line down the rest of the middle of the page. She started listing all sorts of different names for both sexes.)

There was a loud clap of thunder and a sudden wind that rattled the window frame. Raine looked outside of the window and smiled.

She wrote down one more name on the boys' side. _Squall. Isn't that a nice name Laguna?_

(Laguna wanted to say something, even if she couldn't hear him, but—

(The room swirled again.)

Raine was standing behind the counter of the bar. She was rubbing her back and her swollen stomach. (_She's only just a few days away from having the baby_, Ellone's voice told him.)

She looked a little worried, but mostly just uncomfortable_. I wish Laguna and Ellone were back. I need to tell him. I don't know where to find him,_ Raine thought to herself. She felt the anxiety creep back into her. _I'm really starting to worry…I hope nothing happened to them._ She pulled out a stool and maneuvered herself onto it. After a moment she leaned forward a little, blowing out some air between her lips. "Gosh. I just need to lay down. Maybe I should close up early."

There was a knock on the bar door across the room. She sighed, called out that she was coming, and wobbled herself over to the door. It was getting harder and harder to move around now that she was so far into her pregnancy. She just didn't want to move anymore. She opened the door to see the mayor. He had a very big smile on his old face. "Raine you have a visitor."

Raine looked behind him, and then down. Her eyes grew wide and her hands flew to her mouth.

Little Ellone stood a behind the mayor looking suddenly shy. "Auntie Raine. You're fat."

"My girl, my girl, my girl!" Raine reached down and grabbed Ellone's hand. She pulled her into the bar and sat her down at one of the tables. Raine was crying now, she felt as if she couldn't breathe. She didn't notice the mayor close the bar door and that they were totally alone. Raine just concentrated on her niece. "Ellone."

Ellone smiled, and Raine reached over and pulled the girl into her arms. "Auntie Raine! It's like there's someone between us!"

"There is someone between us!" Raine hugged the girl as tight as she could manage with her pregnant belly. "Ellone, I've missed you so much. Is it possible that you grew?" Raine finally let her go but held onto her hands. Ellone giggled and swung her little legs. Raine wiped away the last of the tears. "Are you hurt?" Ellone shook her head. "They didn't…touch you or make you cry?"

"I was scared, but I was a brave girl!" Ellone said, raising her hands. "Uncle Laguna told me so!"

It was as if Raine suddenly remembered her long haired husband wasn't with them. "Did Laguna get you out? Where is he?"

Ellone smiled. "He defeated a sorceress! He said he had some things to do but he would be back soon!"

Raine could feel her heart swell, the anxiety dissipating._ He's coming home! And will be here in no time, I'm sure. _She smiled. "Hopefully he'll be here before the baby comes."

(The room began to swirl.)

(_Something went wrong, Uncle Laguna. I still can't figure it out. I can't connect to the exact moment with Aunt Raine, but I can go back to me.)_

Little Ellone was just a little scared. She hadn't heard any noises for a few minutes and no one had come to grab her from the stairs. She had only been home a few days when suddenly Raine started crying out in pain. Ellone braved the run outside to grab help, rushing back with the nurse that settled in Winhill. The nurse helped Raine to the room upstairs and sent Ellone to the steps. Auntie Raine told her on the way down not to come up until the nurse came to get her.

Ellone played with the edge of her blue dress, but couldn't get rid of the scared feeling.

(Laguna watched the girl rest her head in her hands. He felt nauseous himself and knew these moments didn't end well. _Ellone…how early was the baby? What day is it?_

(_The baby was a few weeks early,_ came Ellone's voice. _It's August 23__rd__._)

Finally, Ellone heard a cry. It sounded weird to her, like too small. A few minutes later the nurse came down to the steps. "Elle?" Her voice sounded a bit shaky.

Ellone followed the woman up to Raine and Laguna's room. Ellone nervously approached the door. "Go ahead Elle. She's very weak, but she wants to see you."

Ellone pushed open the door. She saw Raine lying on the bed with a bundle in her arms. The new mother looked tired but had a smile on her face. "Come over here. Come meet him, your brother, Squall."

Ellone pulled herself onto the edge of the bed. She leaned in and peered at the baby's face. He was wrinkly and very pink, but had very light brown hair that looked more like fuzz on his head. Ellone gently touched his cheek. Squall only wrinkled his face up more in response. "He looks like yoo!"

Raine laughed. "You think?" She looked back down at the little baby. "I'm sure he'll look more and more like his father as he gets older. He's going to be like your little brother, Ellone. You have to promise me that no matter what happens to me, or to Uncle Laguna, you'll always look out for him."

Ellone looked up. It was then that she noticed that her aunt was breathing oddly. Raine looked too pale under the light, and had tears in her eyes. The scared feeling came back and she felt like something bad was about to happen. Raine reached out and cupped the small girl's face. She rubbed a thumb over her cheek and gave her a strong smile. "Promise?" she said.

"Promise."

(The room swirled again. This time Laguna saw flashes of memories.)

The funeral; white lilies and people dressed in black. The hard cold surface of the casket. A baby crying. Ellone watching the mayor fight with a few different townspeople. The mayor giving her the saddest look, before nodding his head in defeat. Ellone watching Squall sleep in the carrier he was in, as the car bumped its way on a road. Ellone and Squall, and a few other children, on a boat; Ellone looked to be looking after all of them. Matron Edea and Cid gathering the children up and bringing them through the orphanage, smiling the kindest and unhappiest of smiles. Ellone watching Squall cry and Matron soothe him back to sleep.

"He's my brother," she said, watching the older woman lay the sleeping baby back in his cot.

"Oh, is he? Little Squall Leonhart?" Matron patted the girl's head affectionately.

Ellone nodded, a smile on her face. "Yep! I'm sure Uncle Laguna will come and find us here!"

Matron's eyes lit up and a hand flew to her mouth. She knew that name. (And Laguna could see it.)

. . .

Laguna gasped awake. The memories full in his head. He blinked a few times before searching for a familiar face. He stared at Ellone. She looked a little sad. "I have a son." Ellone nodded.

Laguna leaned back into his seat, looking at his hands. His stomach flipped over and he felt like a weight was set on his shoulders. All of these years suddenly felt like they didn't matter. Nothing he did as a person, soldier, or president mattered because he wasn't there for Squall or Raine. How could he raise a nation and not even know he had abandoned a family in the world?

Tears came to his eyes as he looked back at the woman across from him. "I've missed his whole life—your whole life. I've missed it. I should have…I should have come back. I'm so…stupid."

"Uncle Laguna." Ellone leaned forward a little, hand hovering over his. She took it back and clasped it to her chest. "I know it's a lot to take in…I'm sorry. For everything."

Laguna tilted his head. "It's not your fault." Laguna watched as Ellone looked conflicted. "Ellone. I couldn't have possibly known about Raine. You were too young to stay in the village…no one could take care of you and…and…S-Squall." It felt weird to say his name now.

Ellone had a pained expression on her face. "I couldn't stay with Squall at the orphanage. I couldn't keep the promise I made to Raine."

"What do you mean?"

"I had to leave him. He…I had to go with Matron to the ship. I had to leave him alone…I don't think he really ever forgave me for that." Ellone looked down. She looked devastated as she said, "He doesn't remember me much anyway…I guess it doesn't matter."

Laguna frowned. "I don't think Raine would be upset, Elle. He grew up. He's safe. You had to protect him even if that meant hiding away." _I can't blame myself, either. It's all too much to try and figure out. _"What's done is done. We can't change the past."

That didn't seem to reassure Ellone. She frowned. She looked up at Laguna. "I had this grand idea, Uncle Laguna. An idea that was so…so stupid." She paused and wiped at her eyes. "I sent Squall into the past. Your past. I thought maybe, just maybe, we _could_ change it. We could change it and finally live as a family. Maybe Aunt Raine wouldn't have died…if we could have just…stopped me getting kidnapped." Ellone gasped and wiped the tears away. "All of those times you felt your head buzz, like someone was with you, or in your head…those were the times I sent Squall back to you."

It was like a realization hit Laguna. "All of those times I suddenly could use magic…it was like I had this weird power…" Laguna laid a hand on Ellone's knee. She sniffled and looked at him. "I called them fairies. Kiros and Ward did too. You know…that saved us in some sticky situations. If you hadn't been there, I don't know if I could have survived that fall in Centra." Laguna smiled. "I wouldn't have met you. Or Raine."

Ellone's smile was unsteady but true. She nodded her head. "I guess I helped somehow."

Laguna smiled, but it slowly faded. "Squall probably hates me."

"I wouldn't say that. I mean. I think he hates everyone." Ellone laughed a little. Laguna looked a little scared. "He isn't the most social of butterflies. Give him time. I wouldn't let this information be the conversation that breaks the ice when he gets here."

"What do you mean?" Laguna asked. "He's coming here?"

Ellone nodded. "He's coming to ask me if I can help his friend."

Laguna suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. "I can't…I can't be here!"

Ellone tilted her head. "He'll be here in a day. I don't think you can leave…there are no pods ready to take you down."

"I can't meet him now! I…don't know what to say! I don't know what to say." Laguna jumped out of his seat. "I need to hide. That's when I could check on Adel! Yes!" Laguna hit a fist to his palm and nodded. "I can totally evade him then."

Ellone giggled into her hand. Laguna was happy he could cheer his niece up, even just a little. "Like Aunt Raine always said, you like to avoid serious conversations."


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Time Compression

**Chapter Nineteen:** Time Compression

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FFVIII

_Finally. After weeks we are just a day away from reaching our destination. No more ground! A comfy bed! I dream of the bed. I dream of it._

_Kiros is finally showing signs of his age. He could hardly move after the last fight we just had. Ward offered him a ride on his back, but I think Kiros is just too proud for that. I wish it would have happened. Perfect picture and perfect blackmail._

_But alas. I write by firelight and I'm too excited to go to bed. It's funny. This is the last story in my journal. It entails the last battle with that sorceress Ultimecia. I can't believe all of this happened just a few months ago._

* * *

><p>The first time Laguna saw Squall, he was wearing a space suit. He was glad his face was covered so that Squall didn't see his mouth drop open. <em>He looks exactly like Raine. Oh, my.<em>

There was no mistaking it. Other than the sour look on his face, his son looked exactly like his wife. Squall looked a little flustered when he saw the space suited man, but kept his brow furrowed. _Wow! Wow! He looks like an angry Raine! Wow. That scar. I wonder what happened. It doesn't look new, but it's not that old either. I would know from my share of scars._ Laguna almost tripped over his feet. He continued onward to his destination, concentrating on his feet.

. . .

The first time Laguna saw Rinoa, he was still wearing a space suit. She looked transfixed on something ahead of her, and was walking at a very slow pace. She seemed to glow, almost, and he could feel himself growing warm in his suit from the energy. _Isn't she supposed to be asleep? Where is she going?_

He couldn't put a damper on this feeling that he had met the girl somewhere before.

. . .

_Julia._

It hit Laguna when he saw Rinoa for the second time on the Ragnarok. She looked too similar to the singer, his very first love. He held out his hand, introducing himself to her. "I think this might be the first time we've properly met. President Laguna Loire, at your service!"

She laughed. _She even sounds like her!_

"My name is Rinoa Heartilly. You're just as suave as Selphie says you are!"

Laguna scratched his head in slight embarrassment and laughed, but continued on as smooth as possible. "I'm sorry, you said Heartilly...? Are you related to Julia Heartilly…well, I mean, Caraway?"

Rinoa smiled. "Oh, yes. People have told me you've met her! I use my mother's maiden name." She looked suddenly shy. "I don't really…see eye to eye with the General."

Before he could question, everyone else made it into the room, Squall making his way to the front, arms crossed. All business. Laguna cleared his throat, preparing himself for the little cheesy speech he created in his head.

. . .

Laguna retied his hair back from his face as he watched the clouds zoom by in the Ragnarok's gigantic conference room window. They were moments away from the dark surface of the Lunatic Pandora.

Suddenly he wondered how exactly they were going to get in.

As if someone read his mind, a voice came through the speaker. _Squall._

"Uh. Those who are not already in their seats, I'd advise you to get strapped in."

Laguna, Kiros, and Ward found the nearest seat and they clicked in with their seat belts. Lunatic Pandora came into view, and they were not slowing down. "Well…" Laguna started, but was interrupted by the ship's shield powering up.

There were shots heard all around and Laguna's heart thumped as they hit the outside energy wall of the large weapon. Their own shields mixing with Lunatic Pandora's was causing a rainbow of colors swarm and hit everything around them. The Ragnarok shook, but finally broke through. Gunfire hit the actual surface and cannons fired. The black wall came down and they were in.

"Wow."

"A bit shaky," Kiros said, unhooking his harness. "But I guess that works."

Laguna got out of his seat and stretched. He took a few moments to make sure he was prepared for what was in there, then he grabbed his old machine gun in the corner and looked at his two comrades. "They're probably ahead of us now. Let's get ready and catch up!"

. . .

Laguna and Ellone ran away as far as they could before looking back to Adel's destroyed tomb. It was as if there was a flash and suddenly Squall and his team were gone. Rinoa too. "Phew. I hope they made it out there okay!"

Ellone nodded her head. "I have a feeling they connected to the right place." She smiled. "I guess we'll know if they made it back okay in just a few hours. If Odine was correct, they will be brought back together where they decided to meet."

"Let's get going to that orphanage."

. . .

It was an agonizing six hour wait. In most of that time, Laguna watched the flowers, reminiscing to that time he came here so long ago on that journey to find his little niece. Now she was all grown up and he awaited his son, which was still so hard for him to believe, to appear with everyone else.

He watched as Ellone talked to Edea and Headmaster Cid. The couple had been staying in this old place since after Edea was freed from Ultimecia. They raised the group of six who were exploring through time and now waited for the group of heros to return. Ward sat on a broken column, Kiros next to him. They too looked out into the sea of flowers and were lost in memories.

It was unbelievable to Laguna that so much could happen in just this little bit of time.

There was a hand on his shoulder, and he looked over to see the concerned look of Edea. "Do you think they're alright?"

Laguna could only smile and nod. Even though he had just met them, he knew they were a strong group of soldiers. She smiled back and her eyes wandered to the flowers. "This was their favorite place, Squall and Ellone I mean." Laguna looked back at the woman. She had a look of sadness on her face. "All of the children loved the flowers, but those two spent the most time in it. For years Ellone would drag Squall out here alone and they would just talk. She told him all she could of you and your wife, Laguna."

She looked back up at him and flashed a smile. "If it wasn't for those Guardian Forces and their mind tricks, I'm sure he would remember every one of those stories. He would be so excited to hear about you in the army and it would calm him to hear of his mother's kindness. Maybe he just needs some reminding." Edea's smile grew bigger as her eyes wandered around the orphanage. "Ellone would call him little brother and laugh when he made a face at the cute name." She paused taking a glance at Ellone who was laughing with Cid, probably talking about old memories just like she was. "Everyone called Ellone 'Sis', though Squall took it so very seriously. He was always so serious."

"He grew up fine then?" Laguna could feel his heart sink when he thought about his son growing up here without him. He found that he couldn't stop blaming himself for the mess that is their family.

Edea raised a hand and gently placed it on his arm. "I can see that you are so proud of him, but you are so very sad too. Squall grew up with friends, but after I sent Ellone away and before I too took my leave, I could tell that he was already distancing himself from everyone else." Laguna couldn't stop his face from falling. Edea squeezed his arm. "I wouldn't worry, dear. This journey for him has brought together his old friends. He's made some new ones and he's changed. He's changed so much from that stubborn little boy to this wonderful young man. He's saving the world. Don't worry about what you couldn't do in the past. It will kill you. Instead, talk to him. Get involved. With a little prodding I'm sure he'll come around and accept you. Ellone will make sure of that, I know. She was always so eager to reunite her little family."

Edea gave him one more squeeze before rejoining her husband. Laguna watched as Ellone excused herself and made her way to him. She was smiling as she hooked her arms through one of his. "It should be soon. Are you excited to see them?" Laguna nodded. Ellone chuckled a little. "After all of this has smoothed over, we'll have to get together—you, Squall, and me."

Laguna chuckled, causing Ellone to tilt her head. "What?"

"Oh nothing. Just something Edea was just saying."

Before Ellone could ask what exactly, there was a wave over the flowers. At first Laguna thought he imagined it, maybe it was just a burst of wind, but suddenly there was a longer wave. It looked as if there was haze, or that something was splitting the air in two. Everyone stood and walked to the edge of the flowers. Laguna held up a hand to shade the sun out of his eyes.

It was as if the sky opened up and there was a flash. The world in front of them melted, but then stood still. It picked itself back up and rebuilt in front of their eyes. When the flowers gently moved as normal, Laguna knew they had returned.

No one made a moved until they saw a cowboy hat pop into view. They ran towards him.

Irvine sat upright on the ground rubbing his back. "Whoo. That's gonna be sore in the mornin'." He took a look around, suddenly alert. He looked a little panicked. "Selphie? Selphie?!"

"Here! Here, Irvy! Owww. Arrghh, get off of me, Zell!" There was a grumbled apology and Selphie and a tired looking Zell popped up a few yards away. It was really hard to see everyone in this garden of flowers.

Laguna spotted a golden haired woman sit up, fixing her gloves. Quistis waved at Cid and Edea.

Rinoa was the first to get onto her feet and start walking around. It was more like stumbling. She looked around at everyone first, head counting, when suddenly she frowned. She turned around and ran a few paces, and that's when Laguna realized it too. Squall hadn't shown up.

"Squall? Squall?" Rinoa ran back to the group that was making their way up off the ground. "Guys, Squall isn't here. He's not here!" Rinoa looked around again. She looked up into the sky.

"What if he…" Selphie suddenly looked a little scared. "He…could still be…"

"Everyone was supposed to meet back here. At this exact time. We agreed!" Zell began to search around. "The flowers. He even thought of the idea!"

The five of them suddenly looked stricken. Laguna could feel his stomach churn. He didn't even get a chance to tell Squall the truth.

"What…what does this mean?" Quistis asked. She turned to Laguna. He turned to Ellone.

"More than likely he's stuck in time."

"No!"

Rinoa ran up to Ellone and grabbed her by the arms. "He's not _stuck_! There's no way! Please." Laguna could see tears in both of their eyes. Rinoa let her tears fall first. _She really does love him._ "No. Please, Ellone."

"I don't…I don't…" Ellone looked up at Laguna, her chest heaving. "I don't know…what…"

Laguna could feel the tension in the air. Nothing else was happening. No other wormholes through time. The Time Compression was over. Laguna swam through his head, trying to think of something. Rinoa looked back up at the sky, tears falling down her face. There was a sad silence in the group. Both Selphie and Quistis looked devastated, Selphie's wiping her cheeks trying to hold it all in. Irvine held Selphie close to him though both he and Zell looked lost, and Laguna could cry just thinking about how much these people cared for his son.

_Laguna, think! No one has ideas. This can't be it. This can't be the end!_ Laguna looked around at the many different expressions in the group, letting his eyes only pause briefly on everyone. _Squall can't be lost. There's too much I need to tell him._

He looked at Ellone again, who was wiping at her face. A sadness rushed over him._ No. It can't end like this_. He let his head fall.

He lifted it back up so quickly he heard a crack. He wouldn't be surprised if he gave himself whiplash. He looked over at Ellone, his mind reeling. "I have an idea."

Everyone looked at him. Kiros looking a little skeptical. "I don't know what else we can do, Laguna," he said out loud.

"No. No. Listen. We can't give up." Laguna took Ellone's hands in his. "You can connect to the past, right? Send people's consciousness back to the past, right? I know this might sound crazy but present Squall is in time. I _know_ I sound crazy, but he is in time. All of time. He's lost in…time." Laguna hoped she was getting the picture.

Because everyone else was not. They all looked confused—except for Ellone. She pulled her hands out of his and turned to the group. "If he's still in the Time Compression I might be able to send someone back to find him."

Rinoa looked alert. "I will go. Send me."

Ellone looked hesitant. Rinoa balled her hands into fists. "Listen, I love that stupid, stubborn boy and I know he's calling out to me! I _know_ he is! I feel like I can practically _hear_ it!" Rinoa looked right into Ellone's eyes. "_Please_."

Ellone nodded. "If he's calling out to you, then he might be concentrating on you. It will make it easier to find him. Step back."

Everyone took several steps back. "You need to fill your thoughts up of Squall. Fill up until you can feel him next to you, Rinoa," Ellone told the girl. Rinoa nodded and closed her eyes tight. She took a deep breath in and out. "Ellone closed her eyes too, concentrating. "I feel him, but very faintly. I'm connecting you…now!"

The sky opened up suddenly. Everyone took a few steps back again. Rinoa didn't open her eyes as the world around them seemed to melt. Again there was a flash and everything was rebuilt in front of their eyes. Rinoa was gone.

Laguna reached out and caught a stumbling Ellone. She was holding her head, eyes closed tight. He kissed her forehead, saying, "I think that's enough for a day." They made their way stumbling through the flowers. Cid and Edea walked with them, but Squall's friends, his fellow fighters, didn't move. They stood watching the spot where Rinoa disappeared.

. . .

The wait wasn't as long this time around. An hour after she left, Rinoa reappeared in the field of flowers. Everyone stood still as the world came to peace.

She looked a little scared as she looked down, but then a smile spread onto her face.

"HE'S BACK!" Zell screamed, fist pumping the air. The five of them rushed around Rinoa. Laguna smiled from where he sat on the ground leaning against a broken pillar, Ellone resting her head on his shoulder. She was fast asleep, worn out from the events of the day. Cid, Edea, Kiros, and Ward stood up as the group brought Squall over to them.

Squall looked tired and a little thinner than the last time Laguna saw him just hours ago. It made him wonder just how long he was in that Time Compression. He smiled up at the teenager. "Welcome back," he said.

That might have been the first time Squall smiled back at him in the few days since they first met. Hopefully it wasn't the last.


	21. Epilogue: The End and the Beginning

I guess I wanted to put this before the story, so I don't have to put it at the end. Hello all! When I started this story I had most of it written out and it's hard to believe it took me this long to get it all out! Since I started this story, a year and some months ago, I've finished college and things have just changed, but it's really nice to just sit down and write. Even if I'm not the greatest writer in the world.

Thank you all who have read and reviewed this little story! I appreciate you hanging in there the past year!

Love, La'Ruelia!

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue:<strong> The End and the Beginning

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy VIII.

_We've made it. This seemed like the longest journey ever, but I'm pretty sure it didn't even come close. We've fought our way through and now it's time for some rest! It's been a long day. I'm excited for this bed, so this is my very last story. The epilogue if you will. I will go ahead and write down what happened today._

_Thank you, my readers. You've kept me sane in this adventure. If you've kept up with me, congratulations! There are no words for those who have given up on me._

_I hope to see everyone soon! (Even if we really don't, it's a nice gesture to say, huh?)_

* * *

><p>After what seemed like a very long journey, Laguna and his friends walked to the front of the town. It was enough to make Laguna collapse on the ground and cry. He fought that urge.<p>

Winhill was the same. The same shop, the same row of houses and inn. The same everything. The sky was gray, but there was no rain. The streets were not as empty as they once were, but the people did give them odd stares. "I wonder if they are just as friendly as they were last time," Kiros said, sarcasm dripping into his voice.

"I hope not." Laguna took a deep breath in. The country air filling his lungs and taking him back to moments past. He looked at his two friends and smiled. "I'm finally home, huh? Better late than never."

They started their walk through the dirt street. People didn't talk to them, but they did smile and wave. Nicer. There were no monsters either. Safer. Winhill was doing okay. Laguna saw families outside and noticed that there were a lot of new people around. The men weren't off to war and now that Galbadia has calmed down and there weren't any more evil sorceresses to worry about, the population might finally go up. Laguna felt himself breathing heavier just to get the clean air into his lungs. He missed it so much.

As they were passing by the shop, a woman came out through the door. When Laguna met her hard gaze, he knew exactly who she was. She was a little older, but it was not hard to recognize the shopkeeper. "You," she said a little tersely.

"Uh. Hey!" Laguna scratched his head. It was definitely the same shop owner. The woman didn't like him before and certainly didn't look to like him now either.

She put her hands on her hips. "I haven't seen you in years. Why are you here?" She paused but interrupted Laguna when he tried to explain. "I don't care. You sent those boys here didn't you?"

She was pointing to two young men standing not so far away. They were carrying weapons and looked to be on a break. Laguna turned to the woman, scratching his head again. "And if I did…?"

She scowled and crossed her arms, looking Laguna straight in the eye. He straightened his back a little. He didn't want to back down either, almost to prove he was going to be nice to her no matter how awful she was to him. There was a moment of intense silence as they stared each other down. Finally the woman broke eye contact, suddenly looking more interested in the ground. "I can't thank you enough. It was hard after the war, and after your sorry butt left us, to protect what we had. We were really in despair there for a few years until those SeeDs showed up to take care of those monsters. So. Thank you. If you had anything to do with it."

Laguna was a little shocked. Kiros and Ward just smiled. "Uh, um. You're welcome!" he finally managed to say out loud.

"Well. Go on. Get away from my shop!" Laguna waved, and she huffed in return.

When they reached the fields Laguna parted ways. Ward and Kiros were to go up to the old bar and grab its new owner, while Laguna was going to have a moment alone on the hill. The walk to said hill was very uneventful. He did see a chocobo, a young one, and was reminded of the time Ellone snuck off with Chokie. He almost laughed, but instead rubbed his face. _Get it together, Laguna._

He came to the crest of the hill and looked down. This was the place that so long ago he and Raine really started their life together.

He remembered the conversation like it was yesterday.

. . .

"Laguna!"

He knew Raine was there but played along anyway. "Ah!"

"Did I scare you?" She smiled up at him.

"No…" Laguna could feel his voice waver. He felt his heart beat and his leg was getting sore. _No cramps. No cramps. No cramps,_ he chanted to himself. The nervous feelings were starting to edge its way into him. The pressure was one and it was here and now. If this did not go right all of his plans would be ruined. Not only would he have to face the awkward silence of Raine, but he wouldn't have a gift for Ellone. As his heart beat into his throat he could feel the confidence in himself draining away into the ground underneath him.

Raine tilted her head. "I can hardly understand you! Stop mumbling! Look at your face! You're so red. You are so cute when your face turns red like that." She laughed. Laguna looked down trying to hold in the contents of his stomach. "What can't take the joke? Laguna? Oh you _can't_ take the joke? You're serious? Laguna?" He turned as if to walk away. "Laguna! I'm sorry! Don't go away! Stop please, I promise I will stop teasing, sorry—!"

Laguna turned back around at the right moment and slipped the silver ring onto her finger. She gasped and held it up to her face to see under the moonlight. "Laguna, I…" She looked over at him.

"I mean I know it seems sudden, but really…I love you, Raine, with all of my heart…ha-ha are you speechless…please don't be! Look!" He smiled, holding up his own hand, a matching ring on his finger.

"Oh, Laguna!" He could see her eyes brighten. If she could smile any bigger she'd burst.

"Stay with me? Forever?"

Raine threw her arms around him, tears spilling from her eyes. "Yes!"

. . .

Present Laguna looked down at his hand, the silver ring shining in the afternoon sun. It was getting a little duller, but that was expected. He supposed it was time for a shine up. "Seems so long ago."

He walked over to the center of the empty field. There lay a marker reading simply: Raine Loire.

"Gave you my last name and everything. At least the people didn't hate me that much. I have to wonder though." He bent down. The grave was a very simple marble one. It had her name on top and when she was born and died below it. He touched the grave, running a finger around the outside of it. "I miss you so much. I'm sure you know. Hopefully…I can make things right…for our family."

There was too much to try and say. Laguna just sat in silence. No words could form in his mind to say to the gravestone of his wife. He was afraid that if he tried to say anything else he would end up sobbing instead. He finally let out a breath. "I love you Raine Loire. I'm truly sorry I wasn't there for you. I should have been. If only…" He shook his head. "No point in if onlys, I guess. Ah. Raine." He kissed his hand and touched it back to the cold marble.

After another moment, Laguna stood up, legs cracking. He forgot how old he was.

"Uncle Laguna!"

He turned around. Ellone was walking down the hill; Kiros and Ward standing at the top, giving them a little room. She had a big smile on her face, excited to see him. She waved down at him. He lifted a hand back to her. "You're a little late."

"I know. Sorry!"

They heard a noise in the distance. Everyone looked up to watch as Balamb Garden made its way overhead. The big blue airship hovered, moving slowly above them. The large blades giving a hum of sound and gently moving the grass and leaves all around. _Squall_, Laguna thought to himself. The guilt and excitement of knowing he had a son crept into his thoughts again. Would he be able to get to know the boy? Would he even accept him into his life? The last month was really all a blur.

"We'll have to go see him, you know," Ellone said, finally making her way down the rest of the hill. "I hear he has healed up nicely."

"That's good." Laguna smiled down at the young woman. "I'm still trying to figure out what to say."

"Well. Starting with hello is a good thing. After that…well…I'm not sure."

"Thanks for the help." Ellone laughed. It was a nice sound to hear. Laguna wrapped an arm around her shoulder and they looked at the floating school at a distance.

"I have Aunt Raine's diary, if you want it. It's full of everything she thought about while we were away. And there are many memories of Squall I can show you."

"Maybe we should just visit and talk about them. I'm sure…he would like that."

"Deep down in that loner persona, I think he would too." Raine smiled up at him. Laguna kissed her forehead. "Come on, Uncle Laguna. I'm sure you're tired from that trip."

Laguna nodded. He knew he was going to come visit Raine again in his stay here at Winhill, but he couldn't help but to look back one last time. Ellone let him pause, waiting patiently a few steps behind. He couldn't help it, a tear slipped from his mind. He wiped it away, looking up to the sun to prevent any more of them falling. He turned and gave a smile to Ellone, and they made their way up the hill.

Memories of their short time together came to mind, but he stopped on the one that started it all.

. . .

Laguna took Raine's hand as they walked back up the hill and towards the small town. He couldn't help but to smile at the silver ring that wrapped itself around her finger. "It just doesn't seem real."

"What?" Raine tilted her head. "That we're engaged?"

"No. Not exactly." Laguna stopped at the top of the hill. "Just that…nevermind. I sound like a love guppy."

"Love guppy?" Raine asked, laughing. "Love guppy? I've never heard of that one."

"Doesn't everyone say it?"

"Laguna, no one says what you say." Laguna scratched his head. "But I guess that's one of your quirks that I happen to love," she added at the end. That gave him a smile. "Come on. I don't mind if it's all mushy, say it."

Laguna could feel his cheeks burn a little, but he faced towards Raine anyway. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "I'm going to be real. Listen to what I say…and don't be angry."

"Laguna. I won't be angry. Why would I be angry?" Raine gave him an encouraging smile. "Nothing in the world could make me angry right now. Don't test it," she added as an afterthought.

Laguna laughed a little. "Well. This doesn't feel real because just a few short years ago I was a fighter. Wanted to look at the world and travel. I had no ambition, well. I mean. I had ambition, but it wasn't to do this. When I met, well, saw Julia for the first time I thought that was love." Laguna sighed and gathered up his thoughts again. "I thought, maybe it was time to try this out, this whole courting business—"

"Don't sound medieval about it. Courting?" Raine teased.

Laguna playfully stuck his tongue out. "Resorting to childish ways? I see my fiancé is ten at heart." Laguna's heart skipped a beat when she said the word fiancé. "Go on, Guppy."

"As I was saying, I thought Julia was going to be that girl I would go back to. I could win the war for. It's really funny how life plays out. If it wasn't for that fall…that devastating six month healing process, I guess I wouldn't have ever met you. Or Elle. I didn't think I could be so happy in a little town with a family. It's been too long since I've had a home, that I almost don't know what to do."

"Well. This is our start, Laguna. Mine and yours. Ellone, too." Raine said, smiling.

Laguna turned to look out over the field. The moon made the grass look like silver waves as the wind rolled through. "I'm so happy I almost died."

"Laguna Loire: Perfect with words." Raine took a step and stood next to him. Laguna chuckled and wrapped an arm around her.

"I just hope I'm not dreaming."

"I could pinch you if you want."

"No."

"Come on! If you frown, you'll know you're not dreaming." Raine held up a hand. Laguna jerked away but not fast enough. She softly pinched his cheek, laughing. "I promise this is real. I can't make it any more real. Laguna Loire, you've made me so very happy. I love you."

He pulled her into a deep kiss. When they finally parted he looked into her eyes. They smiled up at him and he knew that no matter what, forever and always, this would be his favorite moment. Something he would never forget in all of his years left in life. "I love you, too."

_End_


End file.
